Family and Friends Forum

Hi I'm a mother of a son who has just received court date after 18 months since the knock on the door . I was home alone and in deep shock and initially thought there had been some terrible mistake. They took all the devices belonging to my son and left. Jump to the evening my son told me it was true and he had downloaded some images of teens and there was files attached which he knew nothing about and didn't view. He had tried to get rid of them but could not. It dosent matter he has not viewed all these files cat A B C but he has downloaded them so included in charges. He is still living with me although it's difficult and now the court case is coming up in 2 weeks I'm sick with worry, ashamed of him , confused I don't know what to do. Only 1 family member knows how I tell my elderly parents I don't know, friends , work it's like I can't utter the words even. The media will probably report it so everyone will know , will I still have a job even though I've done nothing wrong but my son has . I work in health care elderly and have done for years and I am thought of well. My son has a good job and is only 25 no criminal record. We are trying to get hold of the solicitor but have no knowledge of what to do the questions to ask, we have no savings, I don't know anything about legal aid. He could go to prison or receive something else . I need help , advice , support . My son has even said he will kill himself rather than go to court he is ashamed regretful , he has done the steps on the site and changed his views , I try and listen but I don't understand it . He said he was addicted and watching too much normal porn and it all got messed up. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me I don't know how to function anymore, while we were waiting for the court date I coped just about but now it's like a ticking bomb waiting to explode on the court date and my family who I will have to tell . How have other people coped with all this any advice please

Thank you for your reply I have not phoned the helpline but have found the forum helpful. I may need my doctor in the future as things develop I'm already on anti depressants . Telling my family had begun today .