Having your first child with a sex offender
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Does anyone have experience of having their first child and it being with a sex offender?
I don't think it will be an option for us as we need IVF and following a call I've just had with the clinic, I do not think they well allow us to proceed if he is convicted. We have a call with the Medical Director. I'm not sure what our rights are around this but doesn't entirely seem fair when if we could conceive naturally no one could stop us. I really didn't want to have to start facing this issue now or explore any feelings of unjest, but we wanted to look at the paperwork that is required should I /we decided to proceed.
I don't think it will be an option for us as we need IVF and following a call I've just had with the clinic, I do not think they well allow us to proceed if he is convicted. We have a call with the Medical Director. I'm not sure what our rights are around this but doesn't entirely seem fair when if we could conceive naturally no one could stop us. I really didn't want to have to start facing this issue now or explore any feelings of unjest, but we wanted to look at the paperwork that is required should I /we decided to proceed.
Hey SAL,
Would that not be discrimination from the clinic to refuse on the grounds of criminal records? Do they CRB everyone or is it because you brought it to their attention? I suppose Safeguarding would come into play but that's very much at discression. Xx
Would that not be discrimination from the clinic to refuse on the grounds of criminal records? Do they CRB everyone or is it because you brought it to their attention? I suppose Safeguarding would come into play but that's very much at discression. Xx
On one of the many many forms we completed, they asked whether there were any criminal convictions. Which there aren't currently, but having IVF whilst going through the trial etc is not conducive to a successful outcome.
There are safe guarding issues when any parent is a sex offender. They don't sterilise women or make sex offenders have vasectomies to stop them having children.
In most things I try to have a balanced view on things and avoid any feels of entitlement. This seems unjust though.
There are safe guarding issues when any parent is a sex offender. They don't sterilise women or make sex offenders have vasectomies to stop them having children.
In most things I try to have a balanced view on things and avoid any feels of entitlement. This seems unjust though.
I personally do not want children, but my partners probation officer told him it could be possible for us to have kids but that he would not be allowed to live at home and would need to be supervised for at least the first year of a child's life...I thought it was quite inappropriate to bring up kids so early on after a conviction.
It might be worth asking SS what would happt as this will help you make am informed decision. Tho I have seen cases where SS have changed their approach...
It might be worth asking SS what would happt as this will help you make am informed decision. Tho I have seen cases where SS have changed their approach...
I agree, it does seem unfair! If other people are allowed to have children then why should you not? If the worst comes to the worst could you consider going abroad for it? I've heard of people doing that before. Not that you should have to but another avenue to consider?
I find this whole journey an absolute joke to be honest. Just had a letter this morning saying they won't cover legal aid and asking for £650 a month for 5 months to pay for it. They can shove that right up their a.....!!!
I find this whole journey an absolute joke to be honest. Just had a letter this morning saying they won't cover legal aid and asking for £650 a month for 5 months to pay for it. They can shove that right up their a.....!!!
I wasn't going to attend the meeting with the Medical Director, I was going to just accept the inevitable outcome as I couldn't bare the painful conversation that is likely to be had, but I think I will - I want to understand.
I'm updating this more for anyone that finds themselves in a similar situation.
Th fertility clinic have said I /we couldn't start treatment until various parties (I guess social services) have agreed appropriate rehabilitation has happened and it would be safe for us to have a child. This isn't an option for us because of my age.
I knew that this was now unlikely but feel better to know that for other people there are ways forward if they can't conceive naturally. In someways things are dealt with upfront as they wouldn't let you continue until they felt the child would be coming into a safe home.
Now facing a very real decision. Leave my partner and go solo. Stay with my partner and forgo having a child. It's a world away from what I thought my future held a couple of months ago.
Th fertility clinic have said I /we couldn't start treatment until various parties (I guess social services) have agreed appropriate rehabilitation has happened and it would be safe for us to have a child. This isn't an option for us because of my age.
I knew that this was now unlikely but feel better to know that for other people there are ways forward if they can't conceive naturally. In someways things are dealt with upfront as they wouldn't let you continue until they felt the child would be coming into a safe home.
Now facing a very real decision. Leave my partner and go solo. Stay with my partner and forgo having a child. It's a world away from what I thought my future held a couple of months ago.
Hello sorry to reply to your update so late.
My partner was convicted in 2020 of IIOC and SOR for 5 years.
He has now been on the SOC for over 3 years and we are now looking for fertility treatment.
What was your outcome? I knew you had a tough decision to make. Sending hugs xox
My partner was convicted in 2020 of IIOC and SOR for 5 years.
He has now been on the SOC for over 3 years and we are now looking for fertility treatment.
What was your outcome? I knew you had a tough decision to make. Sending hugs xox
Hello Sal,
I have recently enquired about having a baby as we have pencilled a pregnancy for this year. I found myself most upset about not being able to go ahead with that plan. I too don't have time on my side.
This is my conclusion of research and experience people shared with me ;
If I have a baby I will likely be a single mother in action all of the baby's life, going to all GP appointments, taking to all swimming/ballet/football classes, all school runs and all birthday parties. If I need a shower baby will be in the bathroom, if I need the loo baby will be in the bathroom, if I want to go to the local shop, baby has to come. There will be no shared care, ((and God forbid if I die before this child gets to 18.. do I cross my fingers and hope they end up with family and not foster home?)))
And there is a real possibility you are not allowed to live with your partner for the first year of baby's life due to assessments taking so long..
I'm sorry I don't have anything to share re IVF but if your options are to go alone, and go sort-of alone, is it not worth trying?
I'm sure you can decide what's best for you in due course.
Best wishes.
I have recently enquired about having a baby as we have pencilled a pregnancy for this year. I found myself most upset about not being able to go ahead with that plan. I too don't have time on my side.
This is my conclusion of research and experience people shared with me ;
If I have a baby I will likely be a single mother in action all of the baby's life, going to all GP appointments, taking to all swimming/ballet/football classes, all school runs and all birthday parties. If I need a shower baby will be in the bathroom, if I need the loo baby will be in the bathroom, if I want to go to the local shop, baby has to come. There will be no shared care, ((and God forbid if I die before this child gets to 18.. do I cross my fingers and hope they end up with family and not foster home?)))
And there is a real possibility you are not allowed to live with your partner for the first year of baby's life due to assessments taking so long..
I'm sorry I don't have anything to share re IVF but if your options are to go alone, and go sort-of alone, is it not worth trying?
I'm sure you can decide what's best for you in due course.
Best wishes.
I find this subject so hard. I can't give you any advise as my circumstances are different to yours, I just want to send you my love and thoughts.