Wanting partner home
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Hi,
so we are waiting on cps to advise charges. SS are hopefully closing our case (find out this week), on the basis partner lives elsewhere, no unsupervised contact etc. no cpp plan, no concerns raised.
at what point should I tell SS I want husband home? Is this possible? SW is young and naive and said if we were to get back together in the future it would be appropriate to still live apart.
if case gets closed this week, will they contact us/open again once charged ?
Charge is likely making iloc.
tia x
so we are waiting on cps to advise charges. SS are hopefully closing our case (find out this week), on the basis partner lives elsewhere, no unsupervised contact etc. no cpp plan, no concerns raised.
at what point should I tell SS I want husband home? Is this possible? SW is young and naive and said if we were to get back together in the future it would be appropriate to still live apart.
if case gets closed this week, will they contact us/open again once charged ?
Charge is likely making iloc.
tia x
hi Lee
I hadn't decided, I thought that might be it for us.
We have/had spilt up. I've kept house, had things changed to my name, had him took off bank accounts etc. but made it very clear tO partner and SW I am not willing to make any hasty decisions yet, that I don't know what is going to happen in the future, that I am supporting him as my best friend, father of my children etc.
but the last few days all I've thought about is wanting him home
I hadn't decided, I thought that might be it for us.
We have/had spilt up. I've kept house, had things changed to my name, had him took off bank accounts etc. but made it very clear tO partner and SW I am not willing to make any hasty decisions yet, that I don't know what is going to happen in the future, that I am supporting him as my best friend, father of my children etc.
but the last few days all I've thought about is wanting him home
so the plot thickens ... new SW has decided despite having 'no concerns at all about my ability to protect or parent' he has put us on a child in need plan. I'm so angry. Reasons being I do not want to tell the children what their Dad has done unless I have to, he says they have a right to know. Age 9 and 12, I disagree unless charged and goes to court. And he thinks I am in denial what's happened which of course I am totally not, how can I be when our lives have been turned upside down.
Any advice appreciated i feel ill x
Any advice appreciated i feel ill x
Hi jayjay,
I think u have to be honest with them, when I went skitso at our social worker in November and told her I wasn't waiting ten years and I had done wat they asked, she spoke to my husbands po and new offenders manager who were happy for over night stays. When she came before our last cin meeting last week and I told her we wanted to eventually live together in the future again I'm not waiting 10 years she was surprised as we had never said that's wat we wanted, any way after the cin meeting I told her we were told that he wasn't never going to be allowed home which we now no isn't true so we had never thought it possible, I no it could take 5 years but there is a chance in the future for it to happen then obviously that's wat we are gonna work too. I can't afford to get all assessments done privately so for now we are happy for over night stays and when our youngest becomes a teenager we can go back and asked to be reassessed. I guess it depends on if u can afford to get the risk assessments done privately or not. As I have seen some people on here have done that and got their husbands home
I think u have to be honest with them, when I went skitso at our social worker in November and told her I wasn't waiting ten years and I had done wat they asked, she spoke to my husbands po and new offenders manager who were happy for over night stays. When she came before our last cin meeting last week and I told her we wanted to eventually live together in the future again I'm not waiting 10 years she was surprised as we had never said that's wat we wanted, any way after the cin meeting I told her we were told that he wasn't never going to be allowed home which we now no isn't true so we had never thought it possible, I no it could take 5 years but there is a chance in the future for it to happen then obviously that's wat we are gonna work too. I can't afford to get all assessments done privately so for now we are happy for over night stays and when our youngest becomes a teenager we can go back and asked to be reassessed. I guess it depends on if u can afford to get the risk assessments done privately or not. As I have seen some people on here have done that and got their husbands home
thanks for the advice. The main thing they are pushing for is for me to tell children! They are almost trying to bully me to do this do new SW can tick a box! I said if or when charges happen or if it hits media then I will make that decision not them. The boss also rang me to try and persuade me the same! im had a horrible day with them. other than that they are happy with me being protective and a good parent.
I only decided yesterday that I think I want husband home; they've made it quite clear he can't and suggested that even if we were to get back togther, we would still need to live apart!
I think they doubt my safety plan. So if I say I want him home they defo won't believe I'm sticking to it. I can't believe I'm even here x
I only decided yesterday that I think I want husband home; they've made it quite clear he can't and suggested that even if we were to get back togther, we would still need to live apart!
I think they doubt my safety plan. So if I say I want him home they defo won't believe I'm sticking to it. I can't believe I'm even here x
Hi jayjay,
I haven't told my youngest daughter who has just turned 8 because I don't think she needs to no right now, she knows dad did a bad thing and he can't live with us at mo. The ss no this had have respected my wishes, the whole reason we were put on cpp was in case of outsiders may cause my children emotional abuse, I believe if I told my 8 year old she would go into school and tell them, which then the kids tell their parents and then she would possibly be avoided, so this is y I'm not telling her because she has not been affected by this through her school if that makes sense I don't want any trouble for her. They have to respect ur wishes x
I haven't told my youngest daughter who has just turned 8 because I don't think she needs to no right now, she knows dad did a bad thing and he can't live with us at mo. The ss no this had have respected my wishes, the whole reason we were put on cpp was in case of outsiders may cause my children emotional abuse, I believe if I told my 8 year old she would go into school and tell them, which then the kids tell their parents and then she would possibly be avoided, so this is y I'm not telling her because she has not been affected by this through her school if that makes sense I don't want any trouble for her. They have to respect ur wishes x