Family and Friends Forum

My husband's sentencing hearing is due to take place next week. He tells me not to talk about the"final hoop " as he calls it as it stresses him out. But it isn't sentencing that worries me, it is the fact he sees the sentencing as the end of a very unpleasant period of his life whereas I am more worried about what happens afterwards.

The last few weeks there have been indications he is seeking out sexual images on line. Nothing illegal but he is definitely trying to access erotica via auction websites, looking up a profile of a footballer and inadvertently clicked on images of his wife ,the lingerie model. We are signed up to Ever Accountable, which, my porn addict husband says, " has a zero tolerance to porn". Well I thought that was the whole idea.

I have really stuck by my husband despite the repercussions on our finances, jobs and friendships, but I am now getting the feeling that I can't trust him. Can't trust him to work on our relationship, can't trust him not to revert to his old habits, can't trust him with my heart. And possibly the lack of trust can't be overcome no matter how much therapy we have or how many books about sex addiction I read.

I am very scared, probably the most scared since his plea hearing appeared in the press. Usually I am a fixer. I eat problems for breakfast. But I may be unable to fix this.

Thank you ladies, you talk alot of sense. I have never been much of a talker when it comes to my relationships and this is not something one can share with friends. I had an email yesterday from a friend who lived several hundred miles from us. She has two adopted children who we have not seen for two years now due to covid. And she reminded us to come see them and that we are always welcome. But she doesn't know about my husband's offending and I think I just became overwhelmed by everything, knowing the repercussions from his behaviour are many and long lasting.