Bad day, not coping
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I'm broken, I've been too strong for everyone for just over 2 months. Case has moved quite fast, devices checked and partner waiting for cps for charges of making iloc.
I love him and I hate him for what he's done. I'm worried about the future. Worried about peoples reactions and money/house if job is lost.
Son is blaming me for dad moving out and has no respect for me. We are so close so he's taking it out on me.
Told 2 friends who aren't supportive, won't give character reference, they think I'm stupid for still talking to him. They swear they won't tell a soul but I wish I'd never told them and can't guarantee.
Social services have finished assessment and decided to keep us on a child in need plan, which is voluntary but also said if I don't volunteer then it'll be escalated to cpp. Sounds like a threat to me. Hate sw - second one in 2 months. No concerns about my ability to protect or parent but very concerned that I refuse to tell children. And says I don't see severity of what he's done - I think I do! Partner doing everything possible to work thru this, private therapy, modules, sticking to safety plan, engaging with all services, immaculate work history, admitted guilt of viewing only unsure if addiction or habit yet.
I feel like telling everyone and plastering it on Facebook to get it over and done with, I feel like lying - the whole virus/pop up story. I'm tired, I want to sleep and not wake up. I won't do any of these things but this is how I feel today after doing so good.
I love him and I hate him for what he's done. I'm worried about the future. Worried about peoples reactions and money/house if job is lost.
Son is blaming me for dad moving out and has no respect for me. We are so close so he's taking it out on me.
Told 2 friends who aren't supportive, won't give character reference, they think I'm stupid for still talking to him. They swear they won't tell a soul but I wish I'd never told them and can't guarantee.
Social services have finished assessment and decided to keep us on a child in need plan, which is voluntary but also said if I don't volunteer then it'll be escalated to cpp. Sounds like a threat to me. Hate sw - second one in 2 months. No concerns about my ability to protect or parent but very concerned that I refuse to tell children. And says I don't see severity of what he's done - I think I do! Partner doing everything possible to work thru this, private therapy, modules, sticking to safety plan, engaging with all services, immaculate work history, admitted guilt of viewing only unsure if addiction or habit yet.
I feel like telling everyone and plastering it on Facebook to get it over and done with, I feel like lying - the whole virus/pop up story. I'm tired, I want to sleep and not wake up. I won't do any of these things but this is how I feel today after doing so good.
Jayjay, I'm sorry you're having a bad day - sit tight, breathe, do something nice for yourself, make sure you eat. The bad days, when they come, are so awful aren't they? And yet other days you can walk through without too much pain; just remember that everyone here understands and identifies with what you're feeling.
Sending you massive hugs and a reminder of how strong you (we all) are. You got this! xx
Sending you massive hugs and a reminder of how strong you (we all) are. You got this! xx
Jayjay
I just wanted to reach out and send a huge virtual hug xx
These feelings are normal some days will be better than others but try to take time for you just try to take a day at a time
This journey is full of uncertainty and emotions but you have got this x
Reach out on here we all give each other the support and know how important this group is to us all xx
I just wanted to reach out and send a huge virtual hug xx
These feelings are normal some days will be better than others but try to take time for you just try to take a day at a time
This journey is full of uncertainty and emotions but you have got this x
Reach out on here we all give each other the support and know how important this group is to us all xx
Jayjay
Just wanted to quickly message to say I'm at the very beginning of the journey, and seeing individuals alike yourself have already managed and survived months of this is helpful and reassuring to me. Take comfort in how far you have already travelled, and look to others that are further forward in their own journeys. To provide you with the confidence that albeit a bumpy road, people do get through it. I am sure in weeks to come you will need to be reminded again to look back at what you have got through, as I am lead to believe this is all part of the process. Also we never prepare ourselves for this type of bombshell as its always so unexpected. "this doesn't happen to people like us". But with that in mind we can never judge how others will react, regardless of how well we know and how highly we regard them. Everyone will react different according to their bond and emotional attachestment to the individual in question, so I think it is fair to say whilst I hope nobody ever has to go through this again you never know how you should or would react until you actually go through it...being a close friend is a different level of emotion and loyalty to what you are going through.
The end is closer today than it was yesterday so please don't loose focus you've already overcome today!
Just wanted to quickly message to say I'm at the very beginning of the journey, and seeing individuals alike yourself have already managed and survived months of this is helpful and reassuring to me. Take comfort in how far you have already travelled, and look to others that are further forward in their own journeys. To provide you with the confidence that albeit a bumpy road, people do get through it. I am sure in weeks to come you will need to be reminded again to look back at what you have got through, as I am lead to believe this is all part of the process. Also we never prepare ourselves for this type of bombshell as its always so unexpected. "this doesn't happen to people like us". But with that in mind we can never judge how others will react, regardless of how well we know and how highly we regard them. Everyone will react different according to their bond and emotional attachestment to the individual in question, so I think it is fair to say whilst I hope nobody ever has to go through this again you never know how you should or would react until you actually go through it...being a close friend is a different level of emotion and loyalty to what you are going through.
The end is closer today than it was yesterday so please don't loose focus you've already overcome today!
thanks ladies, your wise words mean a lot. Tina I love that last sentence!
I just get so overwhelmed that this is happening to me and the uncertainty of what is to come: I'm yet to tell my close friends we have separated which they really won't believe as I (thought!) had the closest relationship tht everybody wanted which makes this so much worse! X
I just get so overwhelmed that this is happening to me and the uncertainty of what is to come: I'm yet to tell my close friends we have separated which they really won't believe as I (thought!) had the closest relationship tht everybody wanted which makes this so much worse! X
Jayjay
I wanted to react out to you because I could relate to everything you was saying but a wise women gave me these tools and kind words,,
Stop and breath,,,
Rest you can't pour from a empty glass so you need to look after yourself to.
You know the individual and what is right for u and your family,,,
You are both pencils and now you have the blank paper to write a new story it will hurt but that's OK,,
It's OK not to be OK,, keep coming here and venting and getting support from the great people here.
If you believe in fighting for ur h you need to save your engery and you can't be their for everyone else it's not your job hun.
Try not to worry about things that have not happened yet,, fear is a mind set and the mind is a very powerfully things,,
If you know u have nothing to worry about let ss take it all the way I have we are plo and I am now been told I can start court proceedings against ss for the way they have treated me thro this just try and rest and then think what's next xxx big hugs xxx
I wanted to react out to you because I could relate to everything you was saying but a wise women gave me these tools and kind words,,
Stop and breath,,,
Rest you can't pour from a empty glass so you need to look after yourself to.
You know the individual and what is right for u and your family,,,
You are both pencils and now you have the blank paper to write a new story it will hurt but that's OK,,
It's OK not to be OK,, keep coming here and venting and getting support from the great people here.
If you believe in fighting for ur h you need to save your engery and you can't be their for everyone else it's not your job hun.
Try not to worry about things that have not happened yet,, fear is a mind set and the mind is a very powerfully things,,
If you know u have nothing to worry about let ss take it all the way I have we are plo and I am now been told I can start court proceedings against ss for the way they have treated me thro this just try and rest and then think what's next xxx big hugs xxx
This really struck me JayJay:
'Told 2 friends who aren't supportive, won't give character reference, they think I'm stupid for still talking to him. They swear they won't tell a soul but I wish I'd never told them and can't guarantee.'
Its horrible to think unfortunately I'm this day and age everyone really just looks out for their one concerns, forms their own opinion without hearing everything...
They're entitled to and I won't hold it against anyone that finds out about our situation if they don't want to be friends because that's their decision and I respect it... Does mean it hurts us any less though....
I hope in time they come around JayJay.
Stay strong
'Told 2 friends who aren't supportive, won't give character reference, they think I'm stupid for still talking to him. They swear they won't tell a soul but I wish I'd never told them and can't guarantee.'
Its horrible to think unfortunately I'm this day and age everyone really just looks out for their one concerns, forms their own opinion without hearing everything...
They're entitled to and I won't hold it against anyone that finds out about our situation if they don't want to be friends because that's their decision and I respect it... Does mean it hurts us any less though....
I hope in time they come around JayJay.
Stay strong
Thanks again everyone your wise words have helped me thru the past couple of weeks. I've had more good days than bad lately, although a little shaky day today, tomorrow is a new day.