Life with addiction…hopeless?
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My fiancé has been very stressed for the past month, as he started a new job and is miserable there. Prior to spiraling down the rabbit hole of illicit, and later illegal, content, he always turned to porn and masturbation as an escape. Now, while he feels in control of his porn addiction when things are going well, when life is hard (like right now), he feels the urge to turn to that escape. And in turn, he feels more and more ashamed of himself for having that urge and needing to fight it, and more as though life with addiction is hopeless. He broke down about it tonight. It’s so hard. Both to see him so upset, and to live with a partner who has an addiction. Sometimes it feels overwhelming, or I get caught up in thoughts of how it’s unfair and I never wanted or imagined a life like this where my partner would battle addiction. It was already hard for us both just dealing with him being miserable at work, but this added layer of crap makes it that much harder. I’m sorry for rambling with no clear question or anything. It’s just been tough.
Hey there! He's being honest and telling you about it, I'm sure you're stressed to the max but you're doing amazing if he's able to talk to you about it and then you can direct him on another way or talk it through, if he has a counsellor maybe open up. To them to geg different ways to distract him or deal with his stress. Not easy firveaothet of you at all but sounds like he's on the right path by talking about it hope your OK big hugs xx
I agree, the fact that he can open up and tell you this is amazing and shows how far both of you have come and that you're so strong together. Has he got a therapist to talk to?
this is very similar to my husband, he would use porn as a means to escape things when feeling down. Now when he says he's struggling we go for big dog walks, he's taking up running and cycling or he does jobs around the house to occupy his mind in another way. He also takes antidepressants and has a good relationship with his gp about when he wears himself off or ups them depending on what he needs.
I find the constant worry of him going back to porn exhausting, even though I know he is doing everything to make sure this doesn't happen. We have accountable to you and porn blockers downloaded on his phone as well.
you're so strong, make sure you are doing something for yourself as well as all the worry can be hard
this is very similar to my husband, he would use porn as a means to escape things when feeling down. Now when he says he's struggling we go for big dog walks, he's taking up running and cycling or he does jobs around the house to occupy his mind in another way. He also takes antidepressants and has a good relationship with his gp about when he wears himself off or ups them depending on what he needs.
I find the constant worry of him going back to porn exhausting, even though I know he is doing everything to make sure this doesn't happen. We have accountable to you and porn blockers downloaded on his phone as well.
you're so strong, make sure you are doing something for yourself as well as all the worry can be hard
Thank you everyone for your support, it really helps! He was in therapy, but we recently moved and the therapist is legally unable to counsel in our new region, so he's looking for a new therapist. We're both looking for a new couples therapist as well. The limbo between professional support certainly hasn't helped. I will have him look at your recommendations, and I'll look at them for myself too!