Muddling through
Notifications OFF
Hi all,
Firstly can I start by saying I am so grateful for this forum. I honestly don't know how I'd of got through some of my own thoughts without leaning on yourselves, whom I don't even know yet I'm sharing my deepest feelings and secrets with you all at the moment. Its so much easier speaking to others who are actually going through this free from judgement which we all know can't be guaranteed from those people we have been closer to throughout our lives until now, So thank you.
Partner is staying out of area to focus fully on himself, and to recieve the support he needs from family. It is positive to see he is in a better place mentally at the moment as this is one less thing for me to loose sleep over. I hate to see and think of him suffering..but then feel rage when thinking about me and my child's innocent part in all this but also really suffering and on our own!.
Family are aware and some close friends, but I don't want to lean on them. In my head I can hear them talking about it and sharing their opinions of an evening, when they are in the comfort of their own home and discussing it with their own partners. I cant be angry as we all would be the same, if this was happening to someone else. But it hurts that our life is shattered and I'm left feeling like I'm just evenings gossip. I know that's not how the select few who are aware think, but understandably everyone has there opinions. It's so much easier for those opinions to be very black and white when it's not happening to them. I worry how long the support from others will be there for me whilst I don't conform to what they " would do in my shoes".
I am struggling to plan for anthing more than a day or 2 in advance st most. As I just don't know how I'm going to feel. I have a little one who fortunately is helping distract me. But currently going through the tantrum and independent stage, so I'm finding that difficult to manage on my own whilst battling with everything else!!
It's just never ending, and I'm petrified at the thought that realistically at least for the next few years this is now my life. Its so hard to accept that through no fault of my own, my life as I knew it has been destroyed. Sorry for the gloomy morning start to the weekend.
Firstly can I start by saying I am so grateful for this forum. I honestly don't know how I'd of got through some of my own thoughts without leaning on yourselves, whom I don't even know yet I'm sharing my deepest feelings and secrets with you all at the moment. Its so much easier speaking to others who are actually going through this free from judgement which we all know can't be guaranteed from those people we have been closer to throughout our lives until now, So thank you.
Partner is staying out of area to focus fully on himself, and to recieve the support he needs from family. It is positive to see he is in a better place mentally at the moment as this is one less thing for me to loose sleep over. I hate to see and think of him suffering..but then feel rage when thinking about me and my child's innocent part in all this but also really suffering and on our own!.
Family are aware and some close friends, but I don't want to lean on them. In my head I can hear them talking about it and sharing their opinions of an evening, when they are in the comfort of their own home and discussing it with their own partners. I cant be angry as we all would be the same, if this was happening to someone else. But it hurts that our life is shattered and I'm left feeling like I'm just evenings gossip. I know that's not how the select few who are aware think, but understandably everyone has there opinions. It's so much easier for those opinions to be very black and white when it's not happening to them. I worry how long the support from others will be there for me whilst I don't conform to what they " would do in my shoes".
I am struggling to plan for anthing more than a day or 2 in advance st most. As I just don't know how I'm going to feel. I have a little one who fortunately is helping distract me. But currently going through the tantrum and independent stage, so I'm finding that difficult to manage on my own whilst battling with everything else!!
It's just never ending, and I'm petrified at the thought that realistically at least for the next few years this is now my life. Its so hard to accept that through no fault of my own, my life as I knew it has been destroyed. Sorry for the gloomy morning start to the weekend.
Hi - yes, as we face a new (different) life change esp when it's caused by someone you love - it's so bloody hard.
You will feel every single emotion possible / it goes on and on throughout the different stages. Even when it comes to a conclusion it mellows but still has the ability occasionally to knock you to your knees . Keep posting we're all here to listen x hug x
You will feel every single emotion possible / it goes on and on throughout the different stages. Even when it comes to a conclusion it mellows but still has the ability occasionally to knock you to your knees . Keep posting we're all here to listen x hug x
Hi,
I'm feeling the same this morning, I have a 7 month old who has got a cold and has been up crying and feeding all night. I didn't sign up to do this alone and it makes me angry at what he has done to us and that he isn't here sharing the sleepless night.
But I remind myself he is working on his problems and is fighting for us as a family. I keep saying this is our future this is just a small time of our lives that we can move forward from. But it doesn't make the now any easier especially when your so tired!
I'm feeling the same this morning, I have a 7 month old who has got a cold and has been up crying and feeding all night. I didn't sign up to do this alone and it makes me angry at what he has done to us and that he isn't here sharing the sleepless night.
But I remind myself he is working on his problems and is fighting for us as a family. I keep saying this is our future this is just a small time of our lives that we can move forward from. But it doesn't make the now any easier especially when your so tired!