Sad and confused ...
Notifications OFF
Hi all,
Not sure where to start but have been reading the forum for about a week now.
Last Friday evening, my boyfriend was recalled to prison for breaking all of his parole terms. We've been dating for 5 months and I knew nothing about his past. He wouldn't tell me anything before he was taken by the police and I eventually found a news article where I discovered the truth.
I'm really confused as I've only got this article to go on, although from what I have read I no longer want to be with him. His Mum came over the morning after he was taken to tell me why but what she told me and the truth couldn't be further apart.
My head is all over the place because I'm not going to get the truth from anyone and I'm just meant to move on with my life. But I feel like I can't until I know everything.
What makes it so hard is that I thought I had found my soulmate. He was absolutely perfect, kind, caring and loving and I can't match the person I knew and fell in love with and this awful person who has a sexual interest in small babies and toddlers.
I don't know how to move on and there are so many things running through my head.
Sorry for the rambling!
Not sure where to start but have been reading the forum for about a week now.
Last Friday evening, my boyfriend was recalled to prison for breaking all of his parole terms. We've been dating for 5 months and I knew nothing about his past. He wouldn't tell me anything before he was taken by the police and I eventually found a news article where I discovered the truth.
I'm really confused as I've only got this article to go on, although from what I have read I no longer want to be with him. His Mum came over the morning after he was taken to tell me why but what she told me and the truth couldn't be further apart.
My head is all over the place because I'm not going to get the truth from anyone and I'm just meant to move on with my life. But I feel like I can't until I know everything.
What makes it so hard is that I thought I had found my soulmate. He was absolutely perfect, kind, caring and loving and I can't match the person I knew and fell in love with and this awful person who has a sexual interest in small babies and toddlers.
I don't know how to move on and there are so many things running through my head.
Sorry for the rambling!
I don't know exactly what your partner has done but you must be going through hell. I don't have any answers for you but you are not alone. When someone you love let's you down it's always difficult and believe me I know. You will get over this no matter what you believe at the moment. Many years ago my dad once said to me,when I was reeling from a disastrous relationship, 'nobody needs surgery for a broken heart. And he was right, as dad's often are. Remember, this situation is not of your making and there is nothing you could've done to prevent this. Grieve for what you have lost, scream, sob and wail for it but do not allow yourself to become another victim.
And you are definitely NOT rambling, you are hurting and you are allowed to hurt.
Take care of yourself, love yourself and if this relationship was not meant to be then dust yourself down and face the world with the dignity you deserve xx
And you are definitely NOT rambling, you are hurting and you are allowed to hurt.
Take care of yourself, love yourself and if this relationship was not meant to be then dust yourself down and face the world with the dignity you deserve xx
One thing I can say is do not believe everything you read. The media have ways to write things I the worst possible way, that's how they sell stories. Mothers can often minimise it, she wants to see her son happy so may brush it off. I know my husbands mother still does this. Just a silly little mistake she says, eh no it was a massive stupid decision!
Often one on the conditions of license is they must inform the police of any new relationship. Either he told them and they didn't have any reason to tell you or he didn't tell them. It is in your rights to speak to the police and apply for the details of his offenses to be given. They may hold off wanting him to tell you.
The decision is yours if you want to stay with him or not, if I am honest had I only been with my husband for a short length of time I probably would have left him. However, we had been together for 10 years prior to his arrest. Having a partner in prison isn't easy, it takes its toll on you.
You don't have to decide right away. Some of us stay with them, some don't. There is no right or wrong you do what is best for you. Noone else.
Often one on the conditions of license is they must inform the police of any new relationship. Either he told them and they didn't have any reason to tell you or he didn't tell them. It is in your rights to speak to the police and apply for the details of his offenses to be given. They may hold off wanting him to tell you.
The decision is yours if you want to stay with him or not, if I am honest had I only been with my husband for a short length of time I probably would have left him. However, we had been together for 10 years prior to his arrest. Having a partner in prison isn't easy, it takes its toll on you.
You don't have to decide right away. Some of us stay with them, some don't. There is no right or wrong you do what is best for you. Noone else.