I'm lost
Notifications OFF
OK so here goes...
Knock came in November. It was the second time, previous was 12 years earlier. He had talked about things he done to a 13 year old girl online, it was all fantasy. He was put on SOR and that was about it. Now he has recieved pics and messages on KiK of 9-20 year olds. He said "me too" when someone said what they had done to their own children- hence knock, we have 19 year old girl and 12 year old boy. All fantasy again, neither child has ever been touched or felt uncomfortable with their father. He did share 1 pic of our daughter taken from her FB.
Police called him back in yesterday. He didn't have legal aid when he was questioned as he admitted it was him but denied it being sexually motivated, he denied legal aid yesterday also. They said his phone (only thing seized) has come back, they can see that he deletes pics and didn't open others. The police officer said that her boss is away till next week so she can't actually tell him what will happen without his seeing all evidence. She talked to him about cautions and slaps on the wrist then bailed him till next month with no restrictions. Am I really dumb to hope that next month will be an end to it? Could it be just a caution and SOR? I have no idea what to expect next.
We have not lived together since the knock. I have seen him a few times and we speak on the phone, it's all a bit vague.
Thanks to anyone that can shed some light on this awful situation.
Knock came in November. It was the second time, previous was 12 years earlier. He had talked about things he done to a 13 year old girl online, it was all fantasy. He was put on SOR and that was about it. Now he has recieved pics and messages on KiK of 9-20 year olds. He said "me too" when someone said what they had done to their own children- hence knock, we have 19 year old girl and 12 year old boy. All fantasy again, neither child has ever been touched or felt uncomfortable with their father. He did share 1 pic of our daughter taken from her FB.
Police called him back in yesterday. He didn't have legal aid when he was questioned as he admitted it was him but denied it being sexually motivated, he denied legal aid yesterday also. They said his phone (only thing seized) has come back, they can see that he deletes pics and didn't open others. The police officer said that her boss is away till next week so she can't actually tell him what will happen without his seeing all evidence. She talked to him about cautions and slaps on the wrist then bailed him till next month with no restrictions. Am I really dumb to hope that next month will be an end to it? Could it be just a caution and SOR? I have no idea what to expect next.
We have not lived together since the knock. I have seen him a few times and we speak on the phone, it's all a bit vague.
Thanks to anyone that can shed some light on this awful situation.
Hey AnnaMarie,
What a nightmare for you, it's bad enough going through this once let alone twice! I hope you're holding up as well as can be expected. From what you've said I can't really see what the charges could be, the "me too" aspect of the conversation I doubt could be held under the law because it's rather a passing comment and not sexually graphic? In regards to the pictures if they are not deemed inappropriate and just normal pictures then again they can't really charge for it I wouldn't have thought. One thing I've noticed when looking at the charging aspects of crimes relating to this is that it all boils down to sexual gratification and if actions have happened for the purpose of sexual gratification then it becomes illegal - I think I've explained that as I mean it. It is possible he could just receive a caution and this would mean 2 years on the SOR. Unless there is more to it I would be inclined to seek legal advice and not accept a caution but of course it depends on whether his job etc is affected because we all know how horrible and long this journey is and perhaps in some cases accepting a caution is a win. You would think they would have sent his phone for forensics as that seems to be the case with everyone else but maybe they do things differently and the current evidence they have isn't strong enough to warrant that? I'm no expert but just wanted to share my thoughts and best wishes for you xx
What a nightmare for you, it's bad enough going through this once let alone twice! I hope you're holding up as well as can be expected. From what you've said I can't really see what the charges could be, the "me too" aspect of the conversation I doubt could be held under the law because it's rather a passing comment and not sexually graphic? In regards to the pictures if they are not deemed inappropriate and just normal pictures then again they can't really charge for it I wouldn't have thought. One thing I've noticed when looking at the charging aspects of crimes relating to this is that it all boils down to sexual gratification and if actions have happened for the purpose of sexual gratification then it becomes illegal - I think I've explained that as I mean it. It is possible he could just receive a caution and this would mean 2 years on the SOR. Unless there is more to it I would be inclined to seek legal advice and not accept a caution but of course it depends on whether his job etc is affected because we all know how horrible and long this journey is and perhaps in some cases accepting a caution is a win. You would think they would have sent his phone for forensics as that seems to be the case with everyone else but maybe they do things differently and the current evidence they have isn't strong enough to warrant that? I'm no expert but just wanted to share my thoughts and best wishes for you xx
AnnaMarie
What an uncertain time for you all. For your sake I hope this can be resolved without further escalation through the Courts. However a Caution still has ramifications so I would suggest your husband getting some legal advice if at all possible,particularly about inaccessible images.
I don't know how you feel about moving forwards but I hope your husband takes on board that there are issues he needs to think about very carefully if he is to avoid causing further hurt to his loved ones.
Take care.
What an uncertain time for you all. For your sake I hope this can be resolved without further escalation through the Courts. However a Caution still has ramifications so I would suggest your husband getting some legal advice if at all possible,particularly about inaccessible images.
I don't know how you feel about moving forwards but I hope your husband takes on board that there are issues he needs to think about very carefully if he is to avoid causing further hurt to his loved ones.
Take care.
Dear BaffledB & Judith
Thank you both for taking the time to respond. It's awful as I'm not really involved in the legal side of things, he could totally be lying to me...just have to wait till next month.
Thank you both
Sending big hugs x
Thank you both for taking the time to respond. It's awful as I'm not really involved in the legal side of things, he could totally be lying to me...just have to wait till next month.
Thank you both
Sending big hugs x
Hi Annamarie, sending you a big hug - hope you're doing OK x