Initial child protection conference
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Hi all
I wonder if anyone can offer me some advice.
SS have arranged an initial child protection conference for me re my two kids.
There is still so much information I don't know about the case and I have no idea what to expect in this conference.
SS have questioned my protective capacity of my children since the start and I've argued this fact with them.
Everything I've read about these meetings is just causing me more anxiety. I wonder if anyone who has been through this can offer any first hand advice please?
I wonder if anyone can offer me some advice.
SS have arranged an initial child protection conference for me re my two kids.
There is still so much information I don't know about the case and I have no idea what to expect in this conference.
SS have questioned my protective capacity of my children since the start and I've argued this fact with them.
Everything I've read about these meetings is just causing me more anxiety. I wonder if anyone who has been through this can offer any first hand advice please?
Hi,
I had one of these last week, phone the family rights group and go through their pages it is so useful!
The social worker is meant to give you their assessment and report at least 2 days before the conference. Go through this page by page and write down anything you don't agree with. The family rights group said to mark it as fact, allegation and observation. If there is anything factually incorrect let them know. I made a list of all the things I had done to show I am a protective parent, such as courses and reading. I took my dad with me and my husbands dad had written a statement to be read-if I'm honest this family support made the most difference to it and showed them we have so much support.
Make sure you say you acknowledge there is a risk, you are willing to work with them but you need timescales for when things will happen
I had one of these last week, phone the family rights group and go through their pages it is so useful!
The social worker is meant to give you their assessment and report at least 2 days before the conference. Go through this page by page and write down anything you don't agree with. The family rights group said to mark it as fact, allegation and observation. If there is anything factually incorrect let them know. I made a list of all the things I had done to show I am a protective parent, such as courses and reading. I took my dad with me and my husbands dad had written a statement to be read-if I'm honest this family support made the most difference to it and showed them we have so much support.
Make sure you say you acknowledge there is a risk, you are willing to work with them but you need timescales for when things will happen
The meeting itself wasn't as bad as expected, I felt proud of myself for standing up for me and my family and telling them the inaccuracies. I asked for assessment for both me and my husband and they are happening.
I was prepared for their judgement and opinions but the IRO was really nice and fair.
At the end of the meeting everyone scores the risk 0-10. 0 is high risk and 10 is no risk, from my understanding 5 and below is a child protection plan. As this had been the recommendation going in I knew it was going to be the outcome but hearing everyone score low still hurt.
I was prepared for their judgement and opinions but the IRO was really nice and fair.
At the end of the meeting everyone scores the risk 0-10. 0 is high risk and 10 is no risk, from my understanding 5 and below is a child protection plan. As this had been the recommendation going in I knew it was going to be the outcome but hearing everyone score low still hurt.
GZ - thank you. It's good to hear that it wasn't as bad as you expected. My sw has been difficult to work with from the outset, and even though I've done safeguarding courses and my own safety plan, she has completely overlooked them. I spoke to the independent chairperson today and she actually put my mind at ease a little... to be honest, it feels as though it'll just be good to have something tangible to work towards and to know where we are. Which we haven't from day one!
I'll give the family rights group another call too... can I ask - did you get legal advice beforehand? Xx
I'll give the family rights group another call too... can I ask - did you get legal advice beforehand? Xx
Our first social worker was also really hard to work with. After the conference we got moved to the long term team, so we have a new social worker now. She seems better to work with and is already getting the ball rolling with things. But yes just having a plan to work towards now is so much better.
we did get legal advice, they said they could write to social services for us to get them to push for a plan in writing but they also said we just had to wait and see the outcome of the meeting. So we decided not to take a solicitor on yet, as they are really expensive.
we are working SS and we have made it clear what we want from the outset (husband to come home) and that we will work towards that. In the meeting I asked for a person posing risk assessment for my husband and a parenting capacity assessment for myself so we can work with the results of these.
I've kinda felt that if you go in knowing what you want and knowing your rights and what your entitled to really helped and made it clear they couldn't walk over you. I also made a point of telling them everything I had done as the social worker had left it out of her report. It's as much a platform for your voice as it is the professionals.
Any conversations or meetings we have with them I email to them summarising what was said and I write down the dates of all calls just so if they get difficult again I have copies of it all.
the family rights group has a forum as well, lots of good things on there. I phoned them and they were great at explaining things
we did get legal advice, they said they could write to social services for us to get them to push for a plan in writing but they also said we just had to wait and see the outcome of the meeting. So we decided not to take a solicitor on yet, as they are really expensive.
we are working SS and we have made it clear what we want from the outset (husband to come home) and that we will work towards that. In the meeting I asked for a person posing risk assessment for my husband and a parenting capacity assessment for myself so we can work with the results of these.
I've kinda felt that if you go in knowing what you want and knowing your rights and what your entitled to really helped and made it clear they couldn't walk over you. I also made a point of telling them everything I had done as the social worker had left it out of her report. It's as much a platform for your voice as it is the professionals.
Any conversations or meetings we have with them I email to them summarising what was said and I write down the dates of all calls just so if they get difficult again I have copies of it all.
the family rights group has a forum as well, lots of good things on there. I phoned them and they were great at explaining things
That's good to hear, thank you.
I agree, knowledge is power and it makes me feel more at ease to know what my rights are. I think I am just feeling vulnerable, and afraid that they are there to make all these decisions for me and my kids and I won't get my say. I'm not very good at speaking my mind as I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing and end up in a worse situation, but hopefully seeing the reports beforehand will help me to get prepared.
Having said that, I won't just stand idly by and let them say things that aren't true and that aren't working in the best interests of my kids and my family as a whole.
I guess I just feel totally unprepared. Hopefully they'll get those reports to me sooner rather than later x
I agree, knowledge is power and it makes me feel more at ease to know what my rights are. I think I am just feeling vulnerable, and afraid that they are there to make all these decisions for me and my kids and I won't get my say. I'm not very good at speaking my mind as I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing and end up in a worse situation, but hopefully seeing the reports beforehand will help me to get prepared.
Having said that, I won't just stand idly by and let them say things that aren't true and that aren't working in the best interests of my kids and my family as a whole.
I guess I just feel totally unprepared. Hopefully they'll get those reports to me sooner rather than later x
Hi,
Agree with all the above especially the report. Go through it with a fine tooth comb. I prepared a 'statement" to read out which I knew covered all points. I then sent this to the chair/iro to include in the minutes. I found this worked well as I'm pretty emotional anyhow so needed something to focus on and not muddle my thoughts/words.
Good luck. Don't fear a cp plan. They can be used to access additional support and your children will be entitled to an advocate.
Xxx
Agree with all the above especially the report. Go through it with a fine tooth comb. I prepared a 'statement" to read out which I knew covered all points. I then sent this to the chair/iro to include in the minutes. I found this worked well as I'm pretty emotional anyhow so needed something to focus on and not muddle my thoughts/words.
Good luck. Don't fear a cp plan. They can be used to access additional support and your children will be entitled to an advocate.
Xxx
Thank you.
I am feeling super anxious as it is looming tomorrow. The report from the sw is very one sided. It contains lots of opinions they made of me from the very early days, (gave him a hug when he was arrested as I didn't believe it) and nothing I've said or done since. (Safeguarding courses, safety plan etc)
it also says that my dad has told the oic the I am being controlled and manipulated by hubby, which he says he never said. He told them he thought he could be a controlling person, but not that I was being controlled.
I feel like it's going to take me ages to refute all the things they've said about me which are simply not true. But I don't want everyone to score me based on this one sided report! X
I am feeling super anxious as it is looming tomorrow. The report from the sw is very one sided. It contains lots of opinions they made of me from the very early days, (gave him a hug when he was arrested as I didn't believe it) and nothing I've said or done since. (Safeguarding courses, safety plan etc)
it also says that my dad has told the oic the I am being controlled and manipulated by hubby, which he says he never said. He told them he thought he could be a controlling person, but not that I was being controlled.
I feel like it's going to take me ages to refute all the things they've said about me which are simply not true. But I don't want everyone to score me based on this one sided report! X
Could your dad write a statement for the meeting? My dad attended the meeting and my husbands dad wrote a statement. We gave the IRO the statement and she read it out and my dad said something as well in our support.
I hope it goes well for you, I was so nervous before our meeting. Write down everything you want to say you don't forget bits.
you've got this xx
I hope it goes well for you, I was so nervous before our meeting. Write down everything you want to say you don't forget bits.
you've got this xx
I agree with everything in all the other comments but also the thing I would say if ur unsure about the future in anyway just say you don't know.
Cause your not backed in to a core in anyway then and they can't came back at u with u said this and now u done this.
Take the power back with dignity smile,, don't shout as much as you want to dont try to keep your self settled,, breath you know the truth and the facts use fact but never turn around and say their is no risk cause they don't want to hear that.
Tell them about course ur doing and done
Tell them you have a safety plan and it's been over looked,, you can get legal help to and have a solicitor in all of these meetings with you to.
They can help fight back to xx I have been on cpp for 12 months and nothing been done but now we taking ss to court so they can be held accountable to xxx
Cause your not backed in to a core in anyway then and they can't came back at u with u said this and now u done this.
Take the power back with dignity smile,, don't shout as much as you want to dont try to keep your self settled,, breath you know the truth and the facts use fact but never turn around and say their is no risk cause they don't want to hear that.
Tell them about course ur doing and done
Tell them you have a safety plan and it's been over looked,, you can get legal help to and have a solicitor in all of these meetings with you to.
They can help fight back to xx I have been on cpp for 12 months and nothing been done but now we taking ss to court so they can be held accountable to xxx
Yes my dad actually has written a statement.. he was upset that his words have been misinterpreted and used against me. I've sent it to the conference chair and she's going to share it with the other agencies. So that is a bit of a relief.
As for myself, I have written a lot of notes, but I still feel incredibly anxious. I feel like the only thing I can do is argue every point that ss has made about me throughout her report. I don't want to seem like I'm being difficult to them, but she just hasn't been fair.
My sister in law will be present with me for moral support.
I can't thank you ladies enough for all your help... I'll be back online later to let you know how it went xx
As for myself, I have written a lot of notes, but I still feel incredibly anxious. I feel like the only thing I can do is argue every point that ss has made about me throughout her report. I don't want to seem like I'm being difficult to them, but she just hasn't been fair.
My sister in law will be present with me for moral support.
I can't thank you ladies enough for all your help... I'll be back online later to let you know how it went xx
Loufb
Also make sure ur getting all the reports and mins from any meeting you have and if their is anything that's not right then bring it up.
I would get yourself a solicitor and start making sure u make good records of everything and when ss come to do home visit note everything that is said and then hand it all on to solicitor.
They will also note take in all of the meeting to so ss have no way of turning things around on u if that makes sense xx best of luck
Also make sure ur getting all the reports and mins from any meeting you have and if their is anything that's not right then bring it up.
I would get yourself a solicitor and start making sure u make good records of everything and when ss come to do home visit note everything that is said and then hand it all on to solicitor.
They will also note take in all of the meeting to so ss have no way of turning things around on u if that makes sense xx best of luck
Hi Lou
how did it go? My sw is hard work and I keep reminding him that me and children are the victims here, and not an offender, which he doesn't like but backs off.
Always have a safety plan. Re contact, always supervised therefore minimising that risk.
Write everything down. Email where possible for evidence. Go through assessment with a highlighter for inaccuracies. Always have someone else present with you.
how did it go? My sw is hard work and I keep reminding him that me and children are the victims here, and not an offender, which he doesn't like but backs off.
Always have a safety plan. Re contact, always supervised therefore minimising that risk.
Write everything down. Email where possible for evidence. Go through assessment with a highlighter for inaccuracies. Always have someone else present with you.
Just caught up on this thread. Wondering how it all went Lou - hope you're doing okay. Stay strong. X
Hi everyone. Thanks for checking in and all the advice.
The meeting itself was scary, but ultimately wasn't as bad as I was expecting.
We got put on cpp, which is fine really, but I'm struggling now as they keep putting all these assessments etc in the way before the children can have any contact with their dad. I get why the assessments have to be done, but they keep moving the goalposts/end dates etc.
Why can't they see that my 5yo is struggling with the impact of his dad disappearing from his life?
It's like ss are imposing their own punishments on hubby (not to mention me and the kids) xx
The meeting itself was scary, but ultimately wasn't as bad as I was expecting.
We got put on cpp, which is fine really, but I'm struggling now as they keep putting all these assessments etc in the way before the children can have any contact with their dad. I get why the assessments have to be done, but they keep moving the goalposts/end dates etc.
Why can't they see that my 5yo is struggling with the impact of his dad disappearing from his life?
It's like ss are imposing their own punishments on hubby (not to mention me and the kids) xx
Hi Lou how are you doing?
What was the reason they put you on cpp and not child in need if dad is not even having contact?
we got child in need as he is living elsewhere and I can supervise contact.
keep copies of all assessments, emails, sw contact etc, as above highlight things you disagree with, ours had lots of mistakes in, even down to the charges.
What was the reason they put you on cpp and not child in need if dad is not even having contact?
we got child in need as he is living elsewhere and I can supervise contact.
keep copies of all assessments, emails, sw contact etc, as above highlight things you disagree with, ours had lots of mistakes in, even down to the charges.