Advice needed x
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Hi all I really hope I can get some advice or support. I feel so overwhelmed.
quite a while ago whilst in work my father called me and broke the horrible news that a family member had been found guilty of having indecent underage images on their computer. He was not sure about everything that they had been charged with and said he was on parole (didn't have a custodial sentence) and that I had to be told as I have young children (youngest being 2 and oldest is 6). I was asked not to share the information with anyone outside my nuclear family (just my husband) and my own sister haven't even been told. That was it, it has never been discussed again.
as my family member lives far away it's not really been an issue and we have respected our family's wishes.
however my grandfather has just past away and the funeral is not near where we live so my parents have kindly booked a hotel for us and the family. My husband has always been one for saying that young children shouldn't go to a funeral but now he's found out my family member in concern will be there and staying at the hotel he is flat out refusing taking the children at all.
I completely understand his concerns and naturally would want to protect my children from any known risk but my father has very little family and was really upset that they wouldn't be coming at all. I felt I couldn't tell them the truth as I don't want to bring any further upset to my parents or cause a rift in the family at such a sad time when we need each other more than ever.
I feel as though, in a way, especially since we haven't been given any chance to talk to them or anyone about it, that I wish my dad had never called me.
im so sorry about the long message but this is causing real stress and putting such a pressure on my marriage as my husband sees things so black and white and I have both him, my children and my family to think about.
im so grateful this group is here as trying to get any advice or support is impossible.
Thankyou for reading xx
quite a while ago whilst in work my father called me and broke the horrible news that a family member had been found guilty of having indecent underage images on their computer. He was not sure about everything that they had been charged with and said he was on parole (didn't have a custodial sentence) and that I had to be told as I have young children (youngest being 2 and oldest is 6). I was asked not to share the information with anyone outside my nuclear family (just my husband) and my own sister haven't even been told. That was it, it has never been discussed again.
as my family member lives far away it's not really been an issue and we have respected our family's wishes.
however my grandfather has just past away and the funeral is not near where we live so my parents have kindly booked a hotel for us and the family. My husband has always been one for saying that young children shouldn't go to a funeral but now he's found out my family member in concern will be there and staying at the hotel he is flat out refusing taking the children at all.
I completely understand his concerns and naturally would want to protect my children from any known risk but my father has very little family and was really upset that they wouldn't be coming at all. I felt I couldn't tell them the truth as I don't want to bring any further upset to my parents or cause a rift in the family at such a sad time when we need each other more than ever.
I feel as though, in a way, especially since we haven't been given any chance to talk to them or anyone about it, that I wish my dad had never called me.
im so sorry about the long message but this is causing real stress and putting such a pressure on my marriage as my husband sees things so black and white and I have both him, my children and my family to think about.
im so grateful this group is here as trying to get any advice or support is impossible.
Thankyou for reading xx
Hi,
What are your husband's concerns about the family member being in the same hotel? Your children are young enough to require supervision all the time in an unfamiliar environment so that risk isn't there. I can understand the strain you feel and I would think that your family member is feeling it too. I hope you're able to make a decision as a couple that you are both comfortable with xx
What are your husband's concerns about the family member being in the same hotel? Your children are young enough to require supervision all the time in an unfamiliar environment so that risk isn't there. I can understand the strain you feel and I would think that your family member is feeling it too. I hope you're able to make a decision as a couple that you are both comfortable with xx
I feel it'd be useful for your husband to call the helpline and discuss the risks and (un)likelihood of someone charged with only indecent images actually going on to committ a contact offence. Be informed and understand the most likely pathway for online offending. There's a huge misconception that iioc offences must mean they pose a significant risk to all children.
Xxx
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