Family and Friends Forum

bluebell

Member since
February 2022

2 posts

Posted Sun February 27, 2022 2:42amReport post

The knock on the door came on Friday evening. It's now the early hours of Sunday morning and of course can't sleep.

I feel confused, betrayed... so many unanswered questions. We have been married for 10 years and have 4 children and there were no signs! Have I been stupid? How can you be so wrong about someone you know so well, or so you thought?

I thought our life was perfect, I've always felt so blessed and I don't understand why he's done this. All I know is that he's been on a chat room speaking about our 1 year old daughter. I haven't spoken to him yet but the police have been amazing and solcial services are due to come round. My priority is and will always be protecting my children but the life we had has been ripped away and I don't understand it. My head is spinning.
I will never be able to find a way to have him here again, to be able to trust him 100%
I don't know what to say to people about why he isn't here. Only my mum and dad know and their support has been incredible.

I'm so glad I was given the information for this page because I don't feel as alone reading through all of your posts x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2424 posts

Posted Mon February 28, 2022 2:52pmReport post

Hi Bluebell

So sorry that you have joined the group none of us ever imagined been on but this forum is a godsend x

You are still so hurt and raw as it has only been 3 days so please be kind to yourself

There are so many of us that have been there and are still on this journey so please do reach out on here but in would recommend if you want to post to go on to the discussion and support part of the forum xx

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

370 posts

Posted Mon February 28, 2022 5:18pmReport post

Hi Bluebell

I am so sorry your find yourself here. I would recommend you ring the helpline as soon as you feel able to, for advice and support. As well as this forum, they will be able to support you every step of the way through this journey.

The trauma of the 'knock' and trying to process and make sense of what has happened will have left your emotions and thoughts all over the place - so please try and take care of yourself. It may be beneficial for you to contact your GP, if you feel they could be supportive to you.

Thinking of you.

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Mon February 28, 2022 6:40pmReport post

Hi Bluebell,

I'm so sorry that this has happened but you've come to the right place for support. Please just take time to process this and arm yourself with information; don't make rash decisions and I'd suggest that you don't tell anyone at this stage.

Sending huge hugs xx

SAL

Member since
December 2021

898 posts

Posted Mon February 28, 2022 7:36pmReport post

I'm so sorry you find yourself here and well done for being brave enough to post. The first few days are a absolute whirlwind, trying to piece together the small pieces of information you have to make some sense, looking for clues to answer the questions you have.

As others have mentioned I'd really recommend reaching out to the helpline. I'm not a Mum but I have read of some others situations that have been somewhat similar to yours. I hope they see your post and reach out to you. It must be incredibly hard to process.

I'd also agree with other in being careful who you talk to, what you say and not making any big decisions. I know many people have used the excuse that they've broken up either because they weren't getting on, he'd cheated or he'd been dishonest with money related things.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2600 posts

Posted Tue March 1, 2022 4:47amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed March 2, 2022 4:39am

bluebell

Member since
February 2022

2 posts

Posted Wed March 2, 2022 8:02pmReport post

Thank you so much for your replies. The only people who know are my parents because I called them the night the knock on the door came, I needed them. But it's so hard having no one to talk to about the truth.. whatever that may be as even I'm not sure right now.

I find evenings the hardest. When I tuck my children into bed explaining again that daddy has had to go away with work and then I come downstairs and sob.



I feel so alone and so lost. Is it worse than I realise or not as bad as I'm thinking it could be? I hope it's the latter. I'm desperate for supervised visits to start because our children are so young and just want to see their daddy.

He's getting so much help for different things and says he just wants to get better so he can be a good dad.

Edited Wed March 2, 2022 8:20pm