One year on
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so tomorrow is one whole year since the knock. I'm feeling really sad about it, a year ago at this time I was totally oblivious, then bang, my marriage, life in tatters. I know more about IIOM than I should do, I know more of the legal process than I should do, I've been in court more than I should have been!
My husband is currently residing in a local prison, his brother told me that he's in his cell for 18.5 hours a day, that'll give him time to think about what he's done, he's never taken any responsibility for this, he's blamed everyone else but himself, I hope he reflects and realises he needs help!!
Get tomorrow over and is my year of firsts done, doesn't make me feel better but as always we just carry on!!
Xx
My husband is currently residing in a local prison, his brother told me that he's in his cell for 18.5 hours a day, that'll give him time to think about what he's done, he's never taken any responsibility for this, he's blamed everyone else but himself, I hope he reflects and realises he needs help!!
Get tomorrow over and is my year of firsts done, doesn't make me feel better but as always we just carry on!!
Xx
Obviously I meant IIOC!!
Sending hugs to you Tracey. Sounds like tomorrow could be tough. Hope that Friday & the weekend are easier.
Tracey.
I feel so blessed that you are still reaching out on here. It’s a journey for us all and a year is going to bring back some strong mental memories. I hope you have some support. What a year you have had you have been so brave although you never asked for this.
i remember the night before my knock really clearly. I remember what tv we were watching what we ate and the conversation he had with my daughter about Christmas and then boom our lives were shattered.
I am sure your wiser 12 months in and understanding. I have learnt so much from this experience but I wish I didn’t need too.
i remember you saying you have dogs so hope they are all curled up on you and offering comfort.
you have my love and compassion for tomorrow. You have been so helpful to me. It does help to know that we are not alone.
its a milestone Tracey don’t let anyone bring you down. Your still entitled to have your grief on what’s been lost. It’s blooming painful xxx
yes I hope your ex husband does use this time to recover it takes great strength to confront their demons. So men can and some men run from their actions and can’t even admit them to themselves. My husband is more similar to yours I. That he is hiding from his problems rather than facing them.
i hope my reply makes sense, and it’s not all a jumble I think u said in another post the situation is impacting me more than I care to realise. Xxx
I feel so blessed that you are still reaching out on here. It’s a journey for us all and a year is going to bring back some strong mental memories. I hope you have some support. What a year you have had you have been so brave although you never asked for this.
i remember the night before my knock really clearly. I remember what tv we were watching what we ate and the conversation he had with my daughter about Christmas and then boom our lives were shattered.
I am sure your wiser 12 months in and understanding. I have learnt so much from this experience but I wish I didn’t need too.
i remember you saying you have dogs so hope they are all curled up on you and offering comfort.
you have my love and compassion for tomorrow. You have been so helpful to me. It does help to know that we are not alone.
its a milestone Tracey don’t let anyone bring you down. Your still entitled to have your grief on what’s been lost. It’s blooming painful xxx
yes I hope your ex husband does use this time to recover it takes great strength to confront their demons. So men can and some men run from their actions and can’t even admit them to themselves. My husband is more similar to yours I. That he is hiding from his problems rather than facing them.
i hope my reply makes sense, and it’s not all a jumble I think u said in another post the situation is impacting me more than I care to realise. Xxx
Thank you all so much for your lovely words, it really means so much.
I intend to take my dog for a lovely long walk through the woods then snuggle up together, he gives me so much comfort
Love to you all xx
I intend to take my dog for a lovely long walk through the woods then snuggle up together, he gives me so much comfort
Love to you all xx
Tracey
find peace in your woodland walk. Dogs certainly are beautiful family members.
you have been through so much and survived. I hope you can reach a level of red and kindness to yourself xxx
find peace in your woodland walk. Dogs certainly are beautiful family members.
you have been through so much and survived. I hope you can reach a level of red and kindness to yourself xxx
Respect not red
A year - what a milestone, and as painful as it is, it’s also a cause for celebration, because you’ve done it - you’ve got through a year. 365 days of this pain. Today for me marks 4 weeks exactly. Anxiety is high, but I’m actually proud that I’ve got this far; 4 weeks ago I couldn’t see how I’d make it through the night, let alone the week. But I’m here. I’m in awe that you’ve made it a year. You should be so proud of yourself. Xx
Jayne, thank you for your lovely words
You are doing so well, 4 weeks in seems a life time ago for me but as you said I'm still here, still managing and still sane (that is obviously a matter of opinion!)
You're being so brave, you will get through this as we are all such strong people and because of the other people in our life we have no choice but to keep going!
Much love xx
You are doing so well, 4 weeks in seems a life time ago for me but as you said I'm still here, still managing and still sane (that is obviously a matter of opinion!)
You're being so brave, you will get through this as we are all such strong people and because of the other people in our life we have no choice but to keep going!
Much love xx
Tracey how are you one year and a day on. Was yesterday okay in the end?
i think with this offence it’s some sort of delayed grief process. I know I am still struggling getting my head around having my life turned upside down and recently 5 months in I am starting to feel depressed more days than others. I think often because we. All look like we are surviving people think we are okay when actually all I need sometimes is some space for ourselves
i think with this offence it’s some sort of delayed grief process. I know I am still struggling getting my head around having my life turned upside down and recently 5 months in I am starting to feel depressed more days than others. I think often because we. All look like we are surviving people think we are okay when actually all I need sometimes is some space for ourselves
Hi Bethlou23
I always find I'm worse in the run up than I am too the actually day, so I had a lovely walk with my dog and a good friend and we had a lovely time and laughed a lot which did me good.
I'm now finding people are expecting me to move on and get over it, so what I'm finding is I don't talk about it so much because of other peoples attitudes.
Someone I regarded as a good friend last night said, let's not talk about it anymore as it's boring and you must be fed up rehashing it all the while! I was so hurt by that but it shows ignorance of what we're going through. Probably won't be seeing her so much now!!
You're doing so well, don't think for a minute you're not, have you seen your GP? Do you think they may help??
Don't doubt how much you have been through, you are doing great xxx
I always find I'm worse in the run up than I am too the actually day, so I had a lovely walk with my dog and a good friend and we had a lovely time and laughed a lot which did me good.
I'm now finding people are expecting me to move on and get over it, so what I'm finding is I don't talk about it so much because of other peoples attitudes.
Someone I regarded as a good friend last night said, let's not talk about it anymore as it's boring and you must be fed up rehashing it all the while! I was so hurt by that but it shows ignorance of what we're going through. Probably won't be seeing her so much now!!
You're doing so well, don't think for a minute you're not, have you seen your GP? Do you think they may help??
Don't doubt how much you have been through, you are doing great xxx
Tracey
i kniw think that’s why I am on the forum so much, I just feel that my friends and family are fed up of hearing about it. Don’t get me wrong I can do nice things too and talk about other topics but sometimes it’s all consuming.
My gp is good and supportive. I am still having difficulties with work but I know I will get through it.
I think that there people on here that are 4 years in plus and still struggle. The betrayal was huge I think it impacts our trust in others for a long time.
i do also feel sad that he had these thoughts in his head and couldn’t stop them controlling him and his actions. So yes so many emotions. I am doing well focusing on me though I do need to eat more vegetables.
friends are great but there is something about knowing people on here get it deeply. It’s not simple one day you can just stop talking or thinking about it. They were out past and our memories and moving on to an unknown future without someone who we thought we knew is going to be a lot to process.
so pleased you have your dog for comfort. My daughter keeps pestering me for a pet! Xx
i kniw think that’s why I am on the forum so much, I just feel that my friends and family are fed up of hearing about it. Don’t get me wrong I can do nice things too and talk about other topics but sometimes it’s all consuming.
My gp is good and supportive. I am still having difficulties with work but I know I will get through it.
I think that there people on here that are 4 years in plus and still struggle. The betrayal was huge I think it impacts our trust in others for a long time.
i do also feel sad that he had these thoughts in his head and couldn’t stop them controlling him and his actions. So yes so many emotions. I am doing well focusing on me though I do need to eat more vegetables.
friends are great but there is something about knowing people on here get it deeply. It’s not simple one day you can just stop talking or thinking about it. They were out past and our memories and moving on to an unknown future without someone who we thought we knew is going to be a lot to process.
so pleased you have your dog for comfort. My daughter keeps pestering me for a pet! Xx
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