Family and Friends Forum

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2549 posts

Posted Thu March 10, 2022 3:00pmReport post

Talking to a friend earlier - she made a one off comment that once again sowed a seed of doubt "I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to talk or see him (my son) again, after what he's done to you and your family."

By now I should be hardened to these comments but they still have the ability to get to me.

Edited Thu March 10, 2022 3:31pm

Nonna

Member since
December 2018

85 posts

Posted Thu March 10, 2022 4:00pmReport post

Shame on her, these off the cuff comments are like putting the knife in , so damp hurtful and unessassary, hopes he's never in our shoes (it's my son also )

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Thu March 10, 2022 4:36pmReport post

Smile

Try and not let her negative comments even enter your space you were on such a high after your sons letter x

People that have not lived this journey do not have a clue what it is like

They dont realise the impact and hurt these comments do

You are amazing for what you have gone through and still standing it is your choice and no one else's on what or how you support your son

Huge hugs xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2549 posts

Posted Thu March 10, 2022 5:19pmReport post

Thanks Upset and Nonna - it just puts doubts in your mind - I'm not denying what he has done but I think even if a person has done a bad bad thing they deserve a chance in life.

How can you just desert your offspring, like we've said in the past as a parent you do your damn best to get them back on track....,baby, boy, youth or adult...

Oh by the way Upset he got his single cell this morning! He was chuffed......

Edited Thu March 10, 2022 5:26pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Thu March 10, 2022 5:52pmReport post

Oh Smile I am so happy for him it will be good for him to have his own space x

I cannot wait for my son to be moved from remand and hopefully wont have to wait ages for his own space x

Maij

Member since
December 2020

287 posts

Posted Fri March 11, 2022 1:19amReport post

Oh Smile, individuals are so insensitive aren't they. They think they have a right to comment , and pass judgement to who it concerns most. No thought for how destructive their comments may be, and how it may make you feel , and what has that achieved, its just made you feel terrible. While she walks away and thinks nothing of it. Please don't make that one comment bring you down . This can happen to anyone! Lets hope it never happens to her, afterall who ever thought it would happen to us! No one did .



you had a wonderful letter from you son recently and now he has his privacy in his own cell , focus on that , you have been so happy about things lately.



i do hope you have a lovely weekend.
maij x

Edited Fri March 11, 2022 1:22am

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2549 posts

Posted Fri March 11, 2022 4:49amReport post

I am SO SO lucky to have friends that REALLY understand every step of this dreadful journey. Thankyou x Love sent to you all x

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Fri March 11, 2022 8:15amReport post

Sending hugs Smile - I've learnt through this process that you can think you're doing well but actually it doesn't take much to throw you back into turmoil. Your friend probably didn't have a clue the damage that her comment would do - let's face it, we may well have made a similar comment before this happened to us. Also, maybe - just maybe - she was trying to tell you kindly that it would be OK if you chose not to stand by him; but the main thing is to know that you are incredible and amazing and so strong, and things are going well for your son. Focus on that, and on your achievements xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2549 posts

Posted Fri March 11, 2022 9:52amReport post

Yes Lola your right - she's a good pal and I've known her for many years. She wouldn't want to hurt me.

Like you say no one knows how they 'would' handle the situation we are in. You have to try to respect other peoples opinions but then carry on with what makes you happy and what you feel is the right thing to do.

hugs x

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Fri March 11, 2022 10:50amReport post

I hope you're OK now - you really are SO strong. As you know, I have seriously considered walking away from my son and I know you haven't considered for a moment - you're awesome xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2549 posts

Posted Fri March 11, 2022 12:51pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri March 11, 2022 1:07pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2549 posts

Posted Fri March 11, 2022 3:22pmReport post

Thanks again Lola - you are very kind. Xx I've stuck by my son as I know he's a good man. I know he wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone and was very nieve and stupid as he got deeper and deeper into this crazy dark side.

The future is up to him / I've told him it's last chance saloon with me. I pray he works hard to rebuild a new life after prison - and never ventures down this path again.....

All the signs are good so far ...... who knows x

Edited Fri March 11, 2022 3:40pm