Family and Friends Forum

Hi



I am going through hell , 8 months on still waiting on the charges , social services are now involved . They said whatever the outcome in the future my partner will never be aloud to have unsupervised contact with my 2 girls . Does anybody have any experience with this ? Hope your all hanging in there such a horrible time xx

Sorry to hear that Nas can't imagine what your going through with your partner in prison . My little girl sees my partner most night for a little while and still is upset so can't imagine . Social services only see my partner as a monster and the police basilcy said the same . They say he is attracted to children as us normal people don't have these things on out phone. I asked the social how he can prove he isn't attracted to children she said he can't really but he can try courses on Lucy foundation but they're like 1500 from what I can see and we have no money because we're are trying to keep a house and a flat afloat . My family and friends don't know I have been living a lie for 8 months . Do you family know and was it in the media ? Xx

Thank you Lucy



But no nothing helps . Nothing takes my mind off ect

If I'm having a nice day I get so upset that it won't be like this again ect , the police are dragging there tail . Social services are useless and I'm actually sick of authorities now and truely belive they don't care for me and my children . They have done nothing but cause me problems and upset . The only thing that will help if this to be over . No matter the out come it needs sorting :(

Thank you jayjay yes it's awfull , I really don't know what to do each day I change my mind. I havnt told a family member only to protect them , they would be as upset as me , and with me having a 5 year old and a baby due in a week they would only be upset and get involved to much and I really don't want to relive every part of it right now . Some days I think it might go under the radar but others I think I'm being stupid . Lately my daughter has been talking through the fence to her school pals and begging them to come over . Also a school friend has moved in across the way I can't have them over there parents would go mad when they mind out . From out window upstairs you can see into all there gardens were the children play and it's really worrying me that when they find out they will think my partner has been looking ect or they will be attacking the house . We are just round the corner from my daughter's school aswell . I want her to have a normal life to have friends over ect alot of people can cope with no friends or family or leading a quiet life but I always struggle myself I'm very social and not going to events having people over ect isolating myself is really hard . This was ment to be my happy time for having another baby , take the year off this time ect but not money's tight . I'm stuck between working to time my mind of things / not knowing if I can work depending how upset I feel . I've seen alot of posts about moving and we have no money for that :( xxx

He has moved out to a flat near by , my family don't know a think and my daughter thinks he works all night :/ yes that's how I feel on one hand o think I'm at home with my daughter he's not here so she can have a friends over to play but then I think once it's in the media the parents won't be happy . I don't think I would be if the shoe was on the other foot . I'm not sure about you but at first I though I could just walk away and then I can carry on my life without him and my life can be semi normal. But I know he would stand by me 100% he has noone at all and seeing him so upset has been the worst part for me . Somtimes I think screw the media and what people think . It's always been me and him in lockdown ect we have always only had our own little family . But then other days I think I can't live such a sucluded life with no friends or family . So I'm just waiting to see the outcome really . How long have you been waiting for charges? Xx

A month god so long and then dose it go to crown court after or dose it depend . We got the knock begining of August , other than me ringing there's no updates ect . To not eveen have the charge yet god noes how long this will be and I'm not sure how longer I can take . Did your partner change his name or anything? . Mine had changed his name but they havnt mentioned using it . So I asume they need to send the new name to the CPS in order for the courts to use that I'm not sure xx

Yea Lee1969 he has the free solicitor but he seems to be very useless . He has the deed poll things but hasn't changed all banks ect yet . We wernt sure of the name change wud work because then everyone would surley do that . Just hoping that the name would be difrent for the media . Just to protect my daughter in the future really :/ . I'm trying to think of anything to not have it all in the media to be honest . I don't think my family will cope well with the gossip or shame :/ if it was just us I would care but it will affect everyone . I can't stop thinking and worrying I can't lead a normal day . And it's nowere near the end yet xx

Thanks Lee1969 , yea I'm not sure what's best with he name change I think from what I last remember the police officer said don't do anything yet . But I don't have alot of faith in them, they told me not to contact social services they will contact us . But social services don't seem to happy now there involed a week before I give birth there stressing with enough time to do our child protection plan ect and it's brought on such upset so close to the birth I withink I would of preferred them to be involved sooner. They said they were unaware I was pregnant . But the police new the day they came . No he dusnt work with children and we can use his new address but it's not far away and then he may not be safe were he is . I have been reading all the court cases for the last 8 months at the local court to us and they seen very harsh compared to other stories . I don't think alot goe son round here so they report on anything. I have seen cases of very few images get harsh sentences with media coverage of address and pictures from the police . We can only wait and see I surpose just feel hopeless and I don't think it's fair on any family's to have media coverage it's unesserary . And more of a punishment for us xx

I surpose every one feels the same but our address is the only street name around on a hill to the school and a Chinese everyone goes to . Somone that works for me lives across the road. My daughter's school friends next door. His surname if very unusual and my daughter has his name xx

Sorry didn't see your message lee . Yes thank you I will try :) and that was my first mistake the female police officer was the only person I had to sp ak to so I have rang crying my eyes out and confiding in her . Then the police and social knocked on the door saying he has been alone in the car with my daughter which was not true . So now I know there just out to make sure he gets his charge and only ring me to keep me on side to make sure he dusnt run away . And I havnt had any really m my partner had a bad time when to the doctor's but they don't seem to call back either . Somtimes I feel I can have a normal day but then feel guilty that I'm pretending this isn't happening . Ino when the court date looms that then my partner will loose him job he won't be strong enough to work and if in the media I don't think he will be able to show his face . He have had so many money worries , baylifs ect . Car was taken ect so it's always 100 things at a time creeping up on us xx

Thank you :) yes I need to take some time off my phone ect I'm sure I won't have time soon with a new baby . Thank you for all your advise . Has your partner been charged ? I wonder even if it isn't in the media at first there could be a chance it will later on in yea ror somthing goodness knows hopefully not but I Surpose it's always a worry . Eveen if it's not in the media the fact he can't be alone with my children and get them from school and do normal things will all be hard for family to deal with . Somehow we have managed to not let anyone know he lives somwere else at the moment . Xx

Do you mind me asking . What the charge was and was it in the media? I havnt told anyone other than a close friend so I don't talk to anyone about it I never knew things would take this long so I havnt even told his parents were having a baby m he has shut the world out and won't talk to his family there live far away . And with my family we just pretend everything's okay :/ he went to the doctor's at first and then he has rang the helpline a few times but other than that I have no idea social services said there is online courses but when I looked they were £1500 and money isn't somthing we have at the moment :( . I havnt fully decided what I'm doing regards to relationship I know it sounds horrible but I need to know 100% what they find as I don't believe a word he says somtimes and not that it should but I'm depending things on the charge or sentence to decide weather it's better for us to stay apart so my daughter can have friends ect xx

O God that sounds awful , yes I surpose your Bette roff without narrow minded people. Do you have to stick to supervised contact. We do and it's all fine but I imagine when the baby is older and she's crawling about they might see it as not possible. I think I'm just more worried about media for work purposes for both of us so we can keep afloat . 2.5 years is such a long time :( we had the knock in aug and I already feel like I'm loosing times of my life I can't get back xx

It's very hard isn't it . My daughter is always saying she wants to go the shop with dad . Or a walk or take the dog ect . Think she's a bit sick of being stuck to my side . The police and social came round one day saying they had info that my partner and daughter were in the car togther alone . They questioned her she is 5 and they didn't day to much untill I rang the social the next day (well everyday untill she answered) she sed that the police picked it up on a Canara but there not sure if it's clear but she can't get a hold of the police woman she thinks they all have covid. I was so shocked and upset it wasn't true .I wanted the time and date to prove I was there . ( I sit int he back to keep the dog quiet , because my daughter is used to sitting in the front of my car because it's just me and her & because she's a daddy's girl and they sing along in the front and I get shuffed in the back ) anyway since that I have had no info on this so called picture of them alone ect . I am doing everything I havebeeen told and sticking to the rules 1000 % but I was shocked we have actully been gett in my he watched . I understand t he e rules ect but so hard not be in Ng able t ok pop into the kitchen to get a drin on or snack ect . Social worker sed it's a shame the have a good bond so I'm assuming she won't be wanting the new baby to have a bond but they can piss off . I asked how he can't prove he's not attracted to children or to him own children either and she sed he won't get unsupervised contact ever basilcy :/ they wer expressing me to tell all my family and I understand thats maybe so there more ppl to look out for them but right now I just want them all to go away for a few weeks xx

The police are fools I really hope you get it sorted and prove them wrong . No contact at all must of been awfull I have no idea how you managed. My daughter is crying every night when he leaves and asking all day how many minates untill daddy's home ect from work it's such a shame on them . The social think there helpi g but not eveen aloud to call is just horrid . Xx