Hi, i have already introduced myself to the forum previously, so i just want to say and hopefully encourage other mums of offenders to join us, it's all very daunting i know. Our circumstances happened over 2 years ago, it was very traumatic to say the least, i phoned Stopitnow in tears many times and i also attended the Inform course for family and friends, that was amazing and opened my eyes to things i really didn't know or understand, i highly reccomend it. When it first happened, i was so traumatised, i really didn't think i could get through the days but some how i did, a fab GP and many hours of counselling got me to where i am now, i am not consumed by it and i'm managing to feel happiness and do nice things again, i do feel sad that it's happened but i cannot change that and have some how accepted it. My son is doing good to i might add, he has nearly finished his SO programme, he said he has learnt so much from it and no longer feels like that old depressed and anxious person, he's working now and looking to maybe starting a relationship, which he knows he may have to divulge something of his past but that's later down the line, he says he found relationships hard but now feels much more confident. I hope in some way my post can help others in a similar situation, best wishes xx
Thanks for posting this. My son was arrested this week. It is horrifying and confusing and I don’t know where to turn. My son is not neurotypical and is autistic. I am trying to sort out legal help but it isn’t easy trying to research firms who represent this type of case and also have experience of the needs of an autistic person. I haven’t told many people about this yet but fortunately those who I have told have all been very supportive.
Thank you so much for posting. It's great hearing another Mum's experience. I'm still struggling with the guilt, what did I do wrong?, how can my little boy be caught up in this, did I not teach him properly? Stopitnow have been the most amazing support, like yourself, some phone calls are only me sobbing. I really hope other parents can reach out for support.
As a wife of an offender I want you all to know I think you are wonderful and nobody with any sense would ever judge you! If they do they are not worth any moment of your time. X
I just want to echo what Wife and Mum has to say. You are not responsible for the decisions other people make in their lives. I believe that very strongly. We are all, as adults, responsible for ourselves and our own actions, although I do accept that there can be factors that can distort someone's moral health such as depression. But that is not down to you! Of course you were a brilliant mother. There are so many temptations and pressures out there - as parents all we can do is try to protect, educate and warn. And we can't make decisions for our children once they become adults.
I dont know if this is the right place, but my son was arrested last week for sending sexual messages to a 14 year old who turned out to be a police officer, who he went to meet,he told the police he has no intenataion exoect to give her money as she kept saying to him she had no money.I have got him a solictor, but as he has not been charged yet i dont know what is going to happen, I am not sleeping , have no desire to meet friends or family as they will be able to tell something is wrong, I cannot understand why he did this, I fear the worst.