Tough week
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This has been the toughest week of my life. 8 months from the knock my OH had sentencing in crown court. He was charged with 1 count communication over a period of 3 months and 1 count regarding a video he'd sent during that communication. All with a police undercover profile.
he was lucky. The investigation was (as his case worker put it) very succinct and because his devices only showed that it was easy.
he got a suspended sentence, on the register and an SHPO.
I've stuck by him only thinking up to the sentencing day. And now I'm lost again trying to work out what to do
The case has been in the press this week with it opening sentence that said "he has a supportive wife despite his discipical actions" which makes me feel sick as it's made out I'm in the wrong. Luckily that article isn't in a paper most local to us however, most local press seem to report a month after the court dates so whilst nothing appears to have come from the initial article I won't know if that will remain the case until next month at least.
the emotions of this week have been immense. Part of me wanted him to go to prison as that would take any need for make a decision about our marriage out of my hands.
he is very remorseful and keeps telling me he will do anything to keep us together but it's so difficult.
I've now decided to do marriage counselling to see if there is anything to be saved and I guess we'll go from there.
he was lucky. The investigation was (as his case worker put it) very succinct and because his devices only showed that it was easy.
he got a suspended sentence, on the register and an SHPO.
I've stuck by him only thinking up to the sentencing day. And now I'm lost again trying to work out what to do
The case has been in the press this week with it opening sentence that said "he has a supportive wife despite his discipical actions" which makes me feel sick as it's made out I'm in the wrong. Luckily that article isn't in a paper most local to us however, most local press seem to report a month after the court dates so whilst nothing appears to have come from the initial article I won't know if that will remain the case until next month at least.
the emotions of this week have been immense. Part of me wanted him to go to prison as that would take any need for make a decision about our marriage out of my hands.
he is very remorseful and keeps telling me he will do anything to keep us together but it's so difficult.
I've now decided to do marriage counselling to see if there is anything to be saved and I guess we'll go from there.
Hi Blackbird
I am glad you have reached the end of your journey as in what he was charged with etc, the media will always report this as the worst they can that's what they do! But only you can make a choice on what to do no one can make this shit situation any worse now as it is out there for people to read but you are stronger than you realise,
You have gotten this far
Take some time to let this settle as it's so fresh
Only you know the person you loved so only you can decide on what the next step will be
Yes they have done wrong and I dont condone it in anyway but at the same time to have support is so important x
I never imagined my life to be like this but I am here because of my son so yes different to your situation but the road to recovery will be long so you cant stay because of guilt you deserve to be happy but if you want to stay and work at your relationship then it is your choice and no one elses x
Just wanted to send hugs xx
I am glad you have reached the end of your journey as in what he was charged with etc, the media will always report this as the worst they can that's what they do! But only you can make a choice on what to do no one can make this shit situation any worse now as it is out there for people to read but you are stronger than you realise,
You have gotten this far
Take some time to let this settle as it's so fresh
Only you know the person you loved so only you can decide on what the next step will be
Yes they have done wrong and I dont condone it in anyway but at the same time to have support is so important x
I never imagined my life to be like this but I am here because of my son so yes different to your situation but the road to recovery will be long so you cant stay because of guilt you deserve to be happy but if you want to stay and work at your relationship then it is your choice and no one elses x
Just wanted to send hugs xx
Blackbird I feel the same way in regard to prison. I do feel that my partner should have had some time in prison for what he did but I guess too many would be in jail if it were the case for all offenders.
I also make it clear to people I do not condone what he did but I support him in his rehabilitation. But ofc the media will mess with the context to get readers attention. It was mentioned in my partner's hearing that he had a support network of friends and family and I think that was a factor in his suspended sentence.
If there is no support network it will be so much harder for offenders to better themselves, especially if they are remorseful and working hard on their rehabilitation
I also make it clear to people I do not condone what he did but I support him in his rehabilitation. But ofc the media will mess with the context to get readers attention. It was mentioned in my partner's hearing that he had a support network of friends and family and I think that was a factor in his suspended sentence.
If there is no support network it will be so much harder for offenders to better themselves, especially if they are remorseful and working hard on their rehabilitation
Blackbird - Sounds like a good idea to try marriage counseling. I think it's incredibly hard to see what the state of the relationship is outside of dealing with the crime and repercussions. It is great you can be supportive. The marriage/ relationship has to also be what you want and what is best for you, and that will take time to work through. Having a counseling space for you to both work honestly and openly will hopefully help you recognise which way is forwards. Best of luck. Xx
Thanks all for the supportive messages. Whilst my family know and are as suooortive as they can be to me, it's hard as they don't understand what it's like going through this personally. Really appreciate it
Hi Blckbird
hope you are feeling a little better today.
Im so pleased for you that your journey is coming to "an end" (whatever that means). As you know our hubby's had a very similar story and offences but we are still waiting - now 9 months later.
It's comforting to hear he got a suspended sentence. Do you mind sharing any more details as to what his conditions are?
How have things been with the media now? Hope you are coping ok.
hope you are feeling a little better today.
Im so pleased for you that your journey is coming to "an end" (whatever that means). As you know our hubby's had a very similar story and offences but we are still waiting - now 9 months later.
It's comforting to hear he got a suspended sentence. Do you mind sharing any more details as to what his conditions are?
How have things been with the media now? Hope you are coping ok.