Hi everyone,
I just wanted to post something positive on here for those of you feeling lost. Tomorrow marks 3 years since "the knock" for us. If I could go back and speak to the me from 3 years ago, I'm not sure what I'd say other than "it will be ok" and I'd give her a hug.
I stayed for the kids initially, but I'm now in a strong place and wanted to share that there is hope.
We were relatively fortunate in that our investigation was over in 7 months and he got NFA. However, 5 months later we got a visit from the police to serve him with an SRO, despite the NFA. We've had regular visits from them to check his devices but the SRO finishes at the end of this month and that stress of "when will they turn up" will be over. Social services are now gone from our lives (unless I decide I want a baby, when they'd come back, so that's NOT an option!) and we've both been having therapy for 2 and a half years. He's found out a lot about himself and worked through his trauma and I have worked on issues from way before this and I'm starting, for the first time in my adult life, to like myself. We're stronger than ever, have more open communication than I'd have ever thought possible and the end is in sight. Our wedding is booked for next year, having cancelled when this kicked off (then covid would have scuppered it anyway!) and I've gained a family of warriors, as well as a new perspective and level of understanding for others.
I know it's hard. I know it feels impossible. But there can be happy endings. Xx
I just wanted to post something positive on here for those of you feeling lost. Tomorrow marks 3 years since "the knock" for us. If I could go back and speak to the me from 3 years ago, I'm not sure what I'd say other than "it will be ok" and I'd give her a hug.
I stayed for the kids initially, but I'm now in a strong place and wanted to share that there is hope.
We were relatively fortunate in that our investigation was over in 7 months and he got NFA. However, 5 months later we got a visit from the police to serve him with an SRO, despite the NFA. We've had regular visits from them to check his devices but the SRO finishes at the end of this month and that stress of "when will they turn up" will be over. Social services are now gone from our lives (unless I decide I want a baby, when they'd come back, so that's NOT an option!) and we've both been having therapy for 2 and a half years. He's found out a lot about himself and worked through his trauma and I have worked on issues from way before this and I'm starting, for the first time in my adult life, to like myself. We're stronger than ever, have more open communication than I'd have ever thought possible and the end is in sight. Our wedding is booked for next year, having cancelled when this kicked off (then covid would have scuppered it anyway!) and I've gained a family of warriors, as well as a new perspective and level of understanding for others.
I know it's hard. I know it feels impossible. But there can be happy endings. Xx
Congratulations huni. I can't wait to pat myself on the back after all this ends.
Lee I keep meaning to send you a message, but to say it's been manic is an understatement!! Will send you a message soon. Honestly, I would not have managed the last 3 years without YOU. It's been the longest, hardest 3 years, and yet... I have found my inner warrior and we have made it through xx