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Telling others

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Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Sun March 13, 2022 4:57pmReport post

Keep thinking ahead to sentancing and if it hits the media.

did people tell friends and others the truth or did people lie and say it was a virus or accidentally downloaded or something else?

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2406 posts

Posted Mon March 14, 2022 2:47pmReport post

Hi Jayjay,

We have yet to face the media part of this journey and to be honest I am not sure on how I will react

So long as my son and close family are supported I really have no thoughts on other people's reactions

If someone asks me directly I will say it's not something I want to discuss at this moment in time as you can appreciate it's a difficult time

I wouldn't go down the route of it been a mistake or virus but that's my own personal opinion

Hopefully your wont reach the media and if it does you have dealt with so much more on this journey and to be honest would people be so direct dont waste your energy on the what's ifs we will deal with it in the same way this journey has taken us to xx

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Mon March 14, 2022 7:22pmReport post

While it might be tempting to lie, I wonder if anyone would believe the download error/virus version - It's a bit too easy and convenient. The other considerations is that it doesn't leave the door open for people to really understand why the offence happened and what work he's done on himself, which may earn him more support and respect in the longer term.

As Upset Mum has suggested, saying something like - I'm not ready to talk about it yet, that you are still coming to terms and trying to process your feelings.

For you and your partner, I hope it doesn't go to press

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Mon March 14, 2022 9:44pmReport post

it's just I have some very close friends of 30 years who will ask me everything and probably won't understand if I choose to stay with him. They also have young children who he has been around. Whilst I have no doubt in my mind he would never hurt a child, other people would not understand.

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Thu March 17, 2022 9:12pmReport post

Bumping this up to get others advice x

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Fri March 18, 2022 10:17pmReport post

Hi Lee

I've seen live stings on fb before, it's usually been when the offender has been chatting to a decoy and rang the police to hand over their evidence, is this what happened to you?

I know my close friends with probably/hopefully be supporting but they will ask so many questions. We are so close but I can't tell them about this. I will be so sad if I lose them x

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Fri March 18, 2022 10:55pmReport post

Lee, absolutely not!!
I'm just saying the stings that I've seen personally on fb have all been where offenders have been chatting to decoys, they've gone to meet and called the police to hand their evidence over!
How is that making me sound simplistic when it's merely saying those are the stings I have personally seen???

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Fri March 18, 2022 11:20pmReport post

I know it will be a lot more complicated and traumatic than what is streamed, with no regards to the family. What I said is what ive personally seen live streamed. nobody knows or feels what this journey is like unless you've lived through it. Nothing is simple about this journey.

I just wanted opinions on how would you react / what to tell people/friends/family if it hits the media.
Has anyone been live streamed after the knock/charged?

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Sat March 19, 2022 12:21amReport post

Yes, both sets of parents know, an auntie and uncle on both sides and 2 friends so far. All supportive to us both apart from the 2 friends. We are still waiting for charges from cps.

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Sat April 2, 2022 8:04amReport post

Did people tell others before it hit media or after it already had? X