Family and Friends Forum

Visor visited partner earlier, he has been on sor for over a year. She said they sometimes send a forensics team to check devices more in depth than visor team do. Said she has no concerns. Partner suffers with anxiety in the run up to visits or probation appointments so is worrying now that she mentioned it because it's close to happening. I've tried to find information on whether they do this when they don't have concerns but I can't seem to find anything. I know as I write this that there may be people reading thinking that if he hasn't got anything to hide he shouldn't worry and I think the same but I also know how much his anxiety gets the better of him even before he offended. Any information would be appreciated. Thank you

Thanks. I'll give them a call. It's so frustrating because we don't live together so I get his very jumbled version of events. Hoping to meet with his visor and probation in June so hopefully we can build a relationship where I can call her if I have questions. I want to help him but I'm dealing with a very hyper toddler too and I'm trying to set my boundaries with supporting him and pointing him in the direction of support I can't provide and actually doing it for him. Feel like I've got more responsibility than I should in all of this. I know I'm not alone in feeling this, just having a mini pity party today xx

At the moment I'm staying but unsure what that looks like as my older children (both late teens and living with me) don't want anything to do with him. They're supportive of me and whatever I decide but for now it means living apart for at least the next five years as middle one staying at home for uni as things stand. We see each other once a week and talk every day but I'm focusing on our daughter building a relationship with him more than our relationship. Hoping to do couples counselling and possibly spend a bit of time alone together within the next eighteen months. I spoke to his visor when I was in labour and she seems approachable. I just wish he would ask her questions rather than asking me like I know any more about this situation than he does xx

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