How much longer...
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It's been nearly 2 years since my (soon to be) brother in law was charged with underage pornography on his computer.
That it literally all I know as no one in the family will talk about it.
BIL told his immediate family straight after he was charged and everyone is sweeping it under the rug. He lives other end of the country so we don't see much of him.
I'm getting married to my partner in 2 months and I am constantly on edge that his court date will clash. I know this makes me sound shallow and uncaring, but BIL is the one who did something wrong. I don't even know to what extent! Partner is fretting and on the one hand hates him and the other hand wants to protect him. I feel sort of the same but I'll be heartbroken if his illegal activities ruin our wedding. If something happens before I know their parents probably won't want to celebrate, partner will be heartbroken!
Am I being selfish? We've already had to move our wedding twice due to covid and over this time I've lost grandparents who would have been at the wedding so obviously I'm bitter enough that covid took them (and that) from me.
How far in advance do they get court dates? How long does all this go on for???
That it literally all I know as no one in the family will talk about it.
BIL told his immediate family straight after he was charged and everyone is sweeping it under the rug. He lives other end of the country so we don't see much of him.
I'm getting married to my partner in 2 months and I am constantly on edge that his court date will clash. I know this makes me sound shallow and uncaring, but BIL is the one who did something wrong. I don't even know to what extent! Partner is fretting and on the one hand hates him and the other hand wants to protect him. I feel sort of the same but I'll be heartbroken if his illegal activities ruin our wedding. If something happens before I know their parents probably won't want to celebrate, partner will be heartbroken!
Am I being selfish? We've already had to move our wedding twice due to covid and over this time I've lost grandparents who would have been at the wedding so obviously I'm bitter enough that covid took them (and that) from me.
How far in advance do they get court dates? How long does all this go on for???
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Thank you.
So I was told he was arrested for child pornography (I think that's the term that was used) and he admitted it. He was then let out and waiting on a court case or a sentencing? I don't really understand! He has admitted it as he lives alone and it was on his computer so no way could he get out of it.
So I was told he was arrested for child pornography (I think that's the term that was used) and he admitted it. He was then let out and waiting on a court case or a sentencing? I don't really understand! He has admitted it as he lives alone and it was on his computer so no way could he get out of it.
My partner absolutely won't talk to his brother about it, when I've brought it up he said he doesn't want to know.
I agree you need clarification. I know you said your partner doesn't want to know, I guess he doesn't want to know the details of the offending- but asking where your BIL is at in the investigation will help think ahead.
It also frustrates me my partner's family do t seem too engaged in his rehabilitation, tho saying that they did attend the court hearing as support. Also because I'm an in law I might not be involved in all the convos they have.
Sounds to me from you have said this far he remains under investigation. Unfortunately it can take years to get a charge, and then it's about a month for magistrates and up to another month to the crown court (if pleading guilty).
It wasn't a wedding but I had to decline my partner coming on a family holiday as we didn't know when he was needed in court. I would ask if the BIL has had a second interview. These don't always happen but when they do they tend to mean charges are to follow.
For context, before covid, my partner was arrested in 2017 and sentenced a bit over two years later.
It also frustrates me my partner's family do t seem too engaged in his rehabilitation, tho saying that they did attend the court hearing as support. Also because I'm an in law I might not be involved in all the convos they have.
Sounds to me from you have said this far he remains under investigation. Unfortunately it can take years to get a charge, and then it's about a month for magistrates and up to another month to the crown court (if pleading guilty).
It wasn't a wedding but I had to decline my partner coming on a family holiday as we didn't know when he was needed in court. I would ask if the BIL has had a second interview. These don't always happen but when they do they tend to mean charges are to follow.
For context, before covid, my partner was arrested in 2017 and sentenced a bit over two years later.
I understand this, we can't plan anything, look forward to anything in our life because since the knock and him admitting it all there has been pretty much no move forward, still investigating, for over a year now.
It sounds really stupid and selfish but holidays, birthdays, anniversarys we cant plan for anything because they might turn round from the investigation at any point and start the charging procedure.
Its like living in purgatory for all the family. Its ridiculous and cruel.
It sounds really stupid and selfish but holidays, birthdays, anniversarys we cant plan for anything because they might turn round from the investigation at any point and start the charging procedure.
Its like living in purgatory for all the family. Its ridiculous and cruel.