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How to tell my child

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Charlie1234

Member since
March 2022

5 posts

Posted Mon March 28, 2022 9:12pmReport post

I am on the start of the journey . My partner was arrested three weeks ago for allegedly accessing an image . Police arrived at 7am and turned our life upside down . They had no idea that we had a child so bail conditions were put in place stopping him coming home or contacting our child . I have now agreed a plan with the social re supervised access and the police have dropped all bail conditions. He cannot have unsupervised contact with our child at any time and isn't allowed to stay in the house overnight . He has been away for 3 weeks and just returned home . I am really struggling with what to tell our child who is 7 . He is used to dad helping him get changed take him to bed etc , taking him to school and so On. Tonight our son got upset because dad wouldn't take him to bed and I was going to take him , as he hadn't seen him for so long. I know this is only going to get worse as time goes on - we have been told 3-5 months for forensics to come back . How can we tell our child that things are going to be different - I have yet to tell him that dad won't be coming on holiday with us at Easter

Green

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Posted Fri April 8, 2022 4:46amReport post

Hello,

So sorry you're in this awful situation with us.

The knock came when both my kids, 9 and 4 were here. It was beyond devastating.

The 4 year old is oblivious, but the 9 year old was full of questions. I just said that daddy had been looking at things he shouldn't have so for now, he would have to stay away.

I did made sure that things went as normal as possible, with him coming over on his days off and doing as much of the same things, only with me there too.

It's been nearly a year and my kids have gotten used to a newish routine. One that sucks, agree, but I have worked my ass off so things haven't changed as much.

Like you, he was the one taking them to school, this is now my routine. I made it as happy as I could, getting them scooters, doing scavenger hunts, going over the top with lunchboxes, etc.

Do love bomb your little one as much as possible, go out, make memories and don't sweat the little things. Take one day at a time and enjoy your son's companionship as much as possible. Put all the effort on him, spoil him rotten.

You will need to be a strong as you can. Although your parter is still very much part of your life, your son will need the strength from you.

Big hugs mama x

Edited Fri April 8, 2022 4:53am