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What a waste

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Summer

Member since
July 2019

394 posts

Posted Wed March 30, 2022 10:45pmReport post

I had a long journey home today from some training in the car and I don't get often in daylight hours to have peace as Either working or kids. Heard a song on radio and saw a few things out the window and just thought what an absolute waste. My kids dad is amazing so clever and able would do anything or anyone I used to moan at him for fixing things for people for free or going off helping someone for the day. He's one of these if you forgot your money in the shop he would pay it for them.
Now he hasn't worked for a year as court dates keep being arranged doesn't want to help people as doesn't want to make them feel bad for accociating with him if all goes wrong. We are now really watching the pennies prob doesn't pay me to work but only thing keeping me sane at present.

Now if he does get convicted it will just compound what a waste of his skills and talents. 2 beautiful kids who in theory has it all will prob be looked down on by school for rest of education and therefore reducing thier life chances! We had a whole life planned of things to do places to go and now all for nothing really.

All for what the police scoring points make prizes.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Thu March 31, 2022 4:41amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Thu March 31, 2022 1:34pm

Summer

Member since
July 2019

394 posts

Posted Thu March 31, 2022 7:40amReport post

Yes I should be greatful it's such a hard thing seeing someone become someone they are not and the effect it has on the people around them.
He's not in a good place and ultimately feels he has no purpose in life, thank god for the dog who gets him out the house daily.

I try to help with the positivity but struggle when the whole situation brings be down too.

unfortunately after an uninspiring barrister at the last court date he's a man with little to loose. He crosses the road doesn't look, litrally so rude to people I cringe and one day this will start an altercation and not much patience for the kids. He won't seek any support mental health what's the point, his drinking is getting worse. I don't know what to say?

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Thu March 31, 2022 9:13amReport post

Summer, I can relate to so much of what you've said about your partner, but your situation has gone on for so much longer and must be so much worse.

My partner feels that bit by bit every thing that made him, him, everything he loved and cared about is lost. We don't live together and I worry about his wellbeing everyday. If I don't hear from him for any extended time or until late in the morning I find myself checking the Accountable2you app just to check he's doing things and is alive.



Like you I try to be positive but I feel so low and confused myself. The positives we find to focus on are so small in comparison to what he's lost. Without knowing the outcome, what life will be like after, it's very hard to find positives. I can't even say that we'll have each other, because I don't know if I can commit to that.

When my partner decided to plead guilty, I saw the light go out in him.

I wonder if it mentally takes its toll more on people that don't feel they are guilty or at least not of the specific charge.

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Thu March 31, 2022 9:50amReport post

I'm totally with you there, my partner and me split and don't live together but are so close now and I've supported him from the start because I know he's such a good man, hard worker, loveky to other humans and brilliant dad to his kids (we have noone together) he was also good to my (older) kids and they miss him a lot. Since he's lost his home, his job his children as ss don't want yo know keep ignoring him and he's had one phone call in over a year with them. But the change in him is unreal, he's rid so much work on himself, he's got a new job which he will probably loose after he pleads, solicitor was all but usless but barrister better, if I hadn't have supported him, pointed him to stop it courses and used info I've got from this forem he either would have been dead (he tried to kill himself) or pleased guilty to it all