Moving on
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I've just logged on having had a break for a while and wanted to share my journey so far.
We had the knock in February 2021, plea hearing in November and sentencing in December. Husband got 12 month custodial suspended for 18 months as well as SOR and SHPO for 10 years, also 4 month curfew. Like the majority on here it has been the most horrendous experience ever and one I never wish to happen again. In December having shut ourselves away from the outside world after the most damaging press coverage we got through with support from very close family and my friends. I've been on antidepressants and currently having CBT since sentencing. Four months on the curfew has finished, tag removed at the weekend, antidepressants kicking in and CBT working, plans for me to return to work in a month and now feeling more confident about being out and about. Life is very different now with people gone and new people (authorities etc) in our lives now but we could never have got this far without being open and honest and getting the full support of those closest to us. In December I was wading through mud and couldn't get out, I wanted to run away to the other end of the country and change our names, now it's a few dirty puddles I need to avoid. My husband has been having therapy too and also on antidepressants. I am glad I made the decision to stay and support him, he is the same kind, caring, loving and considerate person I married, despite many opinions I should leave him. He is desperate to prove he made a foolish mistake and is not the monster he has been made out to be. For anyone struggling to make decisions I implore you to think very carefully about the future and do what "you" think is best and not what anyone else thinks is best for you. Coming to terms with everything hasn't been easy in fact I don't think I ever will. After the shock of the knock I had to determine who and what I was living with. I know now it is the same person I married who made one horrendous mistake and is paying a massive price for doing so.Even though I haven't posted I still pray every night for peace of mind for all members who have unfortunately had to join this site. We are always going to have to deal with some degree of adversity but the CBT has definitely enabled me to cope with this better. Thoughts and prayers with everyone. Xxx
We had the knock in February 2021, plea hearing in November and sentencing in December. Husband got 12 month custodial suspended for 18 months as well as SOR and SHPO for 10 years, also 4 month curfew. Like the majority on here it has been the most horrendous experience ever and one I never wish to happen again. In December having shut ourselves away from the outside world after the most damaging press coverage we got through with support from very close family and my friends. I've been on antidepressants and currently having CBT since sentencing. Four months on the curfew has finished, tag removed at the weekend, antidepressants kicking in and CBT working, plans for me to return to work in a month and now feeling more confident about being out and about. Life is very different now with people gone and new people (authorities etc) in our lives now but we could never have got this far without being open and honest and getting the full support of those closest to us. In December I was wading through mud and couldn't get out, I wanted to run away to the other end of the country and change our names, now it's a few dirty puddles I need to avoid. My husband has been having therapy too and also on antidepressants. I am glad I made the decision to stay and support him, he is the same kind, caring, loving and considerate person I married, despite many opinions I should leave him. He is desperate to prove he made a foolish mistake and is not the monster he has been made out to be. For anyone struggling to make decisions I implore you to think very carefully about the future and do what "you" think is best and not what anyone else thinks is best for you. Coming to terms with everything hasn't been easy in fact I don't think I ever will. After the shock of the knock I had to determine who and what I was living with. I know now it is the same person I married who made one horrendous mistake and is paying a massive price for doing so.Even though I haven't posted I still pray every night for peace of mind for all members who have unfortunately had to join this site. We are always going to have to deal with some degree of adversity but the CBT has definitely enabled me to cope with this better. Thoughts and prayers with everyone. Xxx
Hi,
Ur story sounds so like mine, I am currently waiting for cbt but hopefully it will work to make me stronger again
Sending love xx
Ur story sounds so like mine, I am currently waiting for cbt but hopefully it will work to make me stronger again
Sending love xx
Hi Dawn,
I hope and am sure you find the CBT helps you to move forward. I was worried about disclosing some very intimate details but my therapist is so good and understanding of the sensitivity of what's happened she has and continues to handle our sessions brilliantly. I approach people and situations so differently now. I hope everyone on here can reach out for help and support that is out there but not so easy to find, our GP has helped tremendous in signposting and helping us to access the appropriate services. Please let me know how you get on with the CBT, my therapist told me I have a form of PTSD which I am sure applies to everyone on here.
Best of luck and much love. Xxx
I hope and am sure you find the CBT helps you to move forward. I was worried about disclosing some very intimate details but my therapist is so good and understanding of the sensitivity of what's happened she has and continues to handle our sessions brilliantly. I approach people and situations so differently now. I hope everyone on here can reach out for help and support that is out there but not so easy to find, our GP has helped tremendous in signposting and helping us to access the appropriate services. Please let me know how you get on with the CBT, my therapist told me I have a form of PTSD which I am sure applies to everyone on here.
Best of luck and much love. Xxx
Hi Dawn,
I hope and am sure you find the CBT helps you to move forward. I was worried about disclosing some very intimate details but my therapist is so good and understanding of the sensitivity of what's happened she has and continues to handle our sessions brilliantly. I approach people and situations so differently now. I hope everyone on here can reach out for help and support that is out there but not so easy to find, our GP has helped tremendous in signposting and helping us to access the appropriate services. Please let me know how you get on with the CBT, my therapist told me I have a form of PTSD which I am sure applies to everyone on here.
Best of luck and much love. Xxx
I hope and am sure you find the CBT helps you to move forward. I was worried about disclosing some very intimate details but my therapist is so good and understanding of the sensitivity of what's happened she has and continues to handle our sessions brilliantly. I approach people and situations so differently now. I hope everyone on here can reach out for help and support that is out there but not so easy to find, our GP has helped tremendous in signposting and helping us to access the appropriate services. Please let me know how you get on with the CBT, my therapist told me I have a form of PTSD which I am sure applies to everyone on here.
Best of luck and much love. Xxx
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That is so helpful Daffodil, I'm sure any form of counselling has to help and what you've described is a very useful tool to help you and I'm sure could be adopted by other people who haven't been able to access any services. I hope you continue to move in the right direction of this destructive experience. Best wishes to you. Xx
Hi Katie,
Your post is both powerful and positive. I love you analogy of wading through mud to now avoiding a few muddy puddles, I'm definitely going to use that moving forward. We're 7 month post sentencing (2 1/2 post knock) and I too am so glad that I stayed to support my husband. He did a stupid thing but he is a good man. I never had any counseling nor did I take antidepressants as at the time I was so worried about my fragile state of mind and I wasn't sure I wouldn't harm myself if I had such meds in the house. It has been an enormous struggle but I do now feel like I'm coming out the other side. Yes I still have down days but they are much less frequent. I like to think this whole horrific experience has made me a better person, it's certainly made me stronger. This group has been an absolute lifeline. I cannot thank you all for your continued support and understanding. We are survivors :)
Much love xxx
Your post is both powerful and positive. I love you analogy of wading through mud to now avoiding a few muddy puddles, I'm definitely going to use that moving forward. We're 7 month post sentencing (2 1/2 post knock) and I too am so glad that I stayed to support my husband. He did a stupid thing but he is a good man. I never had any counseling nor did I take antidepressants as at the time I was so worried about my fragile state of mind and I wasn't sure I wouldn't harm myself if I had such meds in the house. It has been an enormous struggle but I do now feel like I'm coming out the other side. Yes I still have down days but they are much less frequent. I like to think this whole horrific experience has made me a better person, it's certainly made me stronger. This group has been an absolute lifeline. I cannot thank you all for your continued support and understanding. We are survivors :)
Much love xxx
Katie / What a truly inspiring post. We are so lucky indeed to have this platform to support each other as we all try to move forward and as you are proving it really can be done....,,.
Thank you Hope and Smile for your kind words, they mean a lot. Xxxx