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What do you say when they are feelings low?

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SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Wed April 6, 2022 7:57pmReport post

I know this is probably quite personal to each situation. But what do you say to your partners when they are low, in tears and not talking?

I expect this is the start of things being increasingly tough as he starts doing the "last" of many things - Walking his dogs, seeing some people etc. We live apart. I worry about him so much. On his worse days he feels there is nothing left of him and nothing to hang on for.

I find it hard to know what to say, there is no guarantee or anything after sentencing, his pets mean so much to him and its likely they won't be there after, he's lost his job, sold his home, isolated himself from the few friends he had, I can't even promise I'll be there for him.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Wed April 6, 2022 8:11pmReport post

Evening SAL

It's just so sad to see the men we love at breaking point.

Does he have a therapist? And any other support? and how are you doing? xx

Katie28

Member since
December 2021

183 posts

Posted Wed April 6, 2022 8:42pmReport post

It is so difficult to say anything as they are going through so many emotions themselves. I would start with asking if he wanted to talk about it and if not to you is there anyone else he would want to talk about it to. I would strongly suggest him seeing his GP as a matter of urgency and explaining what has happened, the Gp should provide a lot of support by means of referring for counselling and starting on antidepressants etc. As you say it is a very individual process and we are not always equipped with the right things to say. I hope you are okay too as your partners emotional state is a lot of pressure when you are trying to come to terms with this whole thing yourself. Xx

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Wed April 6, 2022 11:10pmReport post

He has a therapist, as do I, but it's once a week and something will trigger /hit him and I'm the only other person he talks to.

Feels like we take it in turns being strong for one another, stepping up when the other is low.

His sentencing is next week. I know the pain and sadness is unavoidable. I hate not being with him. I feel that I never really know what to say. I can't make it go away or make it go away, but I want to make it more bearable and make sure he's safe.

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Wed April 6, 2022 11:19pmReport post

Hi Sal,

I just hug. Sometimes there are no words.
As above call GP or Samaritans.
Are you going to have his pets, if so maybe you could tell him you'll look after him and update him with how they are doing.
Will it def be prison or are you just preparing for the worst? X