Seeking help
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Hi,
I have read many posts where husbands/sons/partners have all sought help for what has lead them down this path. For me it seems an obvious thing to do, as it's not something they can clearly stop on their own.
My ex has been advised not to seek help by his solicitor until the investigation is complete, which concerns me as I can see that investigations can go on for months/years. In the meantime he wants to see our young children (supervised) for longer lengths of time. But it really worries me that he is not seeking help.
Has anyone else come across this or could explain why he shouldn't seek help? I'm struggling to see why his solicitor is advising different to everyone else's, but of course I am not in a position to ask his solicitor this.
many thanks x
I have read many posts where husbands/sons/partners have all sought help for what has lead them down this path. For me it seems an obvious thing to do, as it's not something they can clearly stop on their own.
My ex has been advised not to seek help by his solicitor until the investigation is complete, which concerns me as I can see that investigations can go on for months/years. In the meantime he wants to see our young children (supervised) for longer lengths of time. But it really worries me that he is not seeking help.
Has anyone else come across this or could explain why he shouldn't seek help? I'm struggling to see why his solicitor is advising different to everyone else's, but of course I am not in a position to ask his solicitor this.
many thanks x
I wonder if it's because seeking help would be admitting a problem and if the evidence comes back weak, it might be harder to do a not guilty plea? If they aren't guilty why would they have needed help.
He may have expressed to his solicitor that he doesn't feel think he's guilty.
He may have expressed to his solicitor that he doesn't feel think he's guilty.
Hi, I agree with SAL
Where on your journey are you? What has he been accused of? Has he been charged? Have you been to court? Has he admitted any guilt?
If he's currently under investigation not been charged and not entered a plea. Then if he did work that would be admitting guilt and so forth I would logically think if you do the work then plead not guilty it will raise questions and undermine the plea.
I know that it's hard, I'm 6 weeks in from the knock and my partner was arrested charged and went to magistrates all in the space of a Friday night to Monday morning. He is currently on remand and awaiting his plea hearing this Monday coming. He's not been home since he was arrested and hasn't seen his kids from a previous relationship since and cannot even speak to them. He's not been able to attend our baby scan (I am 13 weeks)
Keep your chin up easier said than done I know!
Where on your journey are you? What has he been accused of? Has he been charged? Have you been to court? Has he admitted any guilt?
If he's currently under investigation not been charged and not entered a plea. Then if he did work that would be admitting guilt and so forth I would logically think if you do the work then plead not guilty it will raise questions and undermine the plea.
I know that it's hard, I'm 6 weeks in from the knock and my partner was arrested charged and went to magistrates all in the space of a Friday night to Monday morning. He is currently on remand and awaiting his plea hearing this Monday coming. He's not been home since he was arrested and hasn't seen his kids from a previous relationship since and cannot even speak to them. He's not been able to attend our baby scan (I am 13 weeks)
Keep your chin up easier said than done I know!
Post deleted
Thank you all for your replies.
I found images etc on his phone in January, and so it was me who called the police. We have young children of similar ages to those in the images.
His bail conditions have recently ended but he is still under investigation, the police took a lot of electronics from our home and we had an assessment from social services in which he admits the police will find under age content on his computer. Though I'm not sure what he has said to the police.
He said to the SW that he has reached out to a therapist but was advised that any information that is a concern to the safety of children would be shared with the police. so apparently he withdrew. When the SW pointed him in the direction of LFF he said he did want help, but advised his solicitor told him not to take it until after the investigation. That's all I know really.
In the meantime I don't think I can agree to any increase in contact with him not seeking help really. Especially if the investigation takes as long as some of these appear to. But he's unlikely to listen to anyone but his solicitor right now which is frustrating. I know he loves our children so I don't understand why he's not putting them first by getting help.
xx
I found images etc on his phone in January, and so it was me who called the police. We have young children of similar ages to those in the images.
His bail conditions have recently ended but he is still under investigation, the police took a lot of electronics from our home and we had an assessment from social services in which he admits the police will find under age content on his computer. Though I'm not sure what he has said to the police.
He said to the SW that he has reached out to a therapist but was advised that any information that is a concern to the safety of children would be shared with the police. so apparently he withdrew. When the SW pointed him in the direction of LFF he said he did want help, but advised his solicitor told him not to take it until after the investigation. That's all I know really.
In the meantime I don't think I can agree to any increase in contact with him not seeking help really. Especially if the investigation takes as long as some of these appear to. But he's unlikely to listen to anyone but his solicitor right now which is frustrating. I know he loves our children so I don't understand why he's not putting them first by getting help.
xx