1 month after the knock. Need help, support, advice!!!
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It's been 1 month since a group of vigilantes turned up at our door. They absolutely terrorised the whole house, turned up in masks, screaming and shouting in the street, tryjng the door handles and 1 even tried to climb through a kitchen window.Although no live stream (due to distraught children who wouldnt allow him to leave the property due to them being in masks) it was published on their Facebook page, twice.
It's been a roller coaster of emotions. Sad, hurt, upset, angry over and over again.
Been with my partner for a number of years and have children together including 3 teens.
So, when this group turned up he admitted that he had been on a over 18s dating site and talking to women ???? he said it was just for the attention. He explained that he believed all of the women he was talking to had been over the age of 18 (their profiles also said 19,20) he was arrested and RUI. Theyve taken my laptop, computer console and his phone to analyse. No bail conditions. Police have said it could take upto a year to sort. When arrested they showed him screenshots the group had given to the police. It shows they did say their age but later went onto send a pic x3 that he thought was a adult so he believed they were messing around. So he continued the conversation and sent explicit images. They asked him early on in the conversation if he had WhatsApp he gave them his WhatsApp and continued talking to numerous women including the 'decoy'. Hes explained he became overwhelmed by the number of messages and blocked them all on WhatsApp but then went back to the dating site where he received messages from 'decoy' basically giving him grief for blocking them on WhatsApp. He never arranged to meet, never asked them to perform sexual acts on themselves.
I've been threatened and harassed by the so called group. They've left me and the children with symptoms of PTSD. My children barricade themselves in the house at night. My 14 year old has started to soil herself due to the distress. They are out of school more than they are in. They are barely sleeping.
I dont know how much more I can take?! I don't know what to expect.
It's been a roller coaster of emotions. Sad, hurt, upset, angry over and over again.
Been with my partner for a number of years and have children together including 3 teens.
So, when this group turned up he admitted that he had been on a over 18s dating site and talking to women ???? he said it was just for the attention. He explained that he believed all of the women he was talking to had been over the age of 18 (their profiles also said 19,20) he was arrested and RUI. Theyve taken my laptop, computer console and his phone to analyse. No bail conditions. Police have said it could take upto a year to sort. When arrested they showed him screenshots the group had given to the police. It shows they did say their age but later went onto send a pic x3 that he thought was a adult so he believed they were messing around. So he continued the conversation and sent explicit images. They asked him early on in the conversation if he had WhatsApp he gave them his WhatsApp and continued talking to numerous women including the 'decoy'. Hes explained he became overwhelmed by the number of messages and blocked them all on WhatsApp but then went back to the dating site where he received messages from 'decoy' basically giving him grief for blocking them on WhatsApp. He never arranged to meet, never asked them to perform sexual acts on themselves.
I've been threatened and harassed by the so called group. They've left me and the children with symptoms of PTSD. My children barricade themselves in the house at night. My 14 year old has started to soil herself due to the distress. They are out of school more than they are in. They are barely sleeping.
I dont know how much more I can take?! I don't know what to expect.
Oh my goodness that is absolutely awful!!! I am so sorry you've had to go through that. I guess the question is, if he spoke sexually after they said they were underage this will prove a challenge but of course, their actions sound like they may have acted unlawfully and this may all be dismissed by the CPS. It's so hard to speculate until you have evidence back from the CPS and of course doesn't ease the absolute distress you have faced. Either way you will find a way to get through it and we are all here for you. Vigilantes are absolute pigs and I've heard many a sting where they state that if the woman stays with the man then they are as bad as them - yet they fail to mention that reoffending is a very low percent if they have actually offended and have a support network. I've also heard them say it's illegal to send pics to under 16, WRONG, it's 18. Most of them are thick as pigshit and have no real prospects in life so turn to this to feel like they have some power.
Please come here to vent, get advice and support. You're not alone and you are totally innocent in all of this. Sending love xx
Please come here to vent, get advice and support. You're not alone and you are totally innocent in all of this. Sending love xx
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Thank you so much for all your replys. It's the weekend and these I find the hardest. They become unbearable it's usually the time we used to do things as a family. Days out, trips, little family games nights.
The police that attended when the hunters were here were extremely good in the circumstances, it's the after care and support since the incident.
I'm trying to get stronger and then put a plan/campaign in place that these people have to go by certain rules to do these stings. Whilst they think they are safeguarding children online, what they are not doing in safeguarding real live children that are within the premises that they sting. The emotional distress along with the psychological is detrimental to their health and wellbeing.
The partner remembers most part of the conversation, they were asking about him watching porn and what porn does he like?! We have a 14 year old and never would she mention porn. So along with the photos they've sent, the questions they've asked him and then the original age on the profiles it's made him genuinely believe they were over the age of 18.
I'm at a loss, I've referred all the children to counselling(how long that will take is anyones guess) I'm in the process of trying to move house, to somewhere they feel safer to try and help them get through this.
The police that attended when the hunters were here were extremely good in the circumstances, it's the after care and support since the incident.
I'm trying to get stronger and then put a plan/campaign in place that these people have to go by certain rules to do these stings. Whilst they think they are safeguarding children online, what they are not doing in safeguarding real live children that are within the premises that they sting. The emotional distress along with the psychological is detrimental to their health and wellbeing.
The partner remembers most part of the conversation, they were asking about him watching porn and what porn does he like?! We have a 14 year old and never would she mention porn. So along with the photos they've sent, the questions they've asked him and then the original age on the profiles it's made him genuinely believe they were over the age of 18.
I'm at a loss, I've referred all the children to counselling(how long that will take is anyones guess) I'm in the process of trying to move house, to somewhere they feel safer to try and help them get through this.
Omg thats terrible, who on earth do these morons think they are? And also they arrested your husband, but not these thugs destroying lives!!!! Makes me so angry. I remember one of my friends added me to one of these Facebook vigilante groups even before the knock I was absolutely horrified and didn't agree one bit I cane straight off it. Thank goodness I'm free of social media o er a year although my partners was a police decoy(communication) the decoy keot messaging him until he answered and it went down hill very quickly. the knock was traumatic enough, but what you've been through is horrendous. Ring gp, get you, yoyr hubby and kids all the help you can receive after what those thugs did yiu to all they should be in prison! We are all here for you xx
I've since found that the man who did the sting was on bail conditions and on a cease and desist banning order and shouldn't have even been doing it.
That's exactly the same as my partner. They messaged him continuously, asking questions. Questions that were enticement I would have said.
I've wrote email explaining what happened and had my older children do impact statements. These groups can not continue to carry out this work should they be putting children's lifes amd mental wellbeing at risk.
The unknown scares me. I dont know what to expect when it comes to the legal service and cps. Ive researched and had conflicting answers.
I'm currently on medication to help with my distress.
That's exactly the same as my partner. They messaged him continuously, asking questions. Questions that were enticement I would have said.
I've wrote email explaining what happened and had my older children do impact statements. These groups can not continue to carry out this work should they be putting children's lifes amd mental wellbeing at risk.
The unknown scares me. I dont know what to expect when it comes to the legal service and cps. Ive researched and had conflicting answers.
I'm currently on medication to help with my distress.
It's terrible they can be allowed to prey on weak minded men, who for all they know, could be going through mental health issues, I hope they lock the stinger up, these people obviously have no jobs and nothing better to do and enjoy the power over people. I'm glad you're getting help, kero at it I've still 6 weeks more of counselling to take which I'm saving for court time. I'd love yo move mtsekf right now but my daughter is in middle of gcses, but I'm different situation from you, do whats right for your wee family. You sound strong and your a great mother, but all this usually lies on us woman to get the family through. Don't listern to those morons that your as bad. You've did nothing wrong but kero your wee family together. What they or anyone else thinks doesn't matter. Have you any family or friends support?.
What I don't agree with with a lot of the decoy cases is where they are placed. The one which is involved in my case was placed within a group on Kik specifically for the discussion of sex and people had to verify their age to get in. I've seen some on Tinder and other chatrooms which should be 18+. Now of course I understand some kids do things they shouldn't but I would love to know exactly how many real kids actually do set up accounts on places like that because I can't see it being a lot if any, I may be wrong. Which brings me to the occasions when men say they thought the person was messing about when they say age because if I was on Tinder and someone told me they were 13 I wouldn't believe them either tbh.
Thank you all for your replys. I've been reading some of these topics in the forums after I was given this site by a liason officer. To see women grouping together and supporting each other is immense.
It took me a while to pluck up the courage, from the bottom of my heart I thank each one of you for a reply.
I feel myself very often pining for my old life. I cant even say he was a bad person, I can't say he was a bad dad because that was never the case. I cant even be angry at him. Hes a extremely broken man at the moment. I worry wether he will even make it through. Please tell me this is normal? Should I be angry at him?
I am however, extremely angry at the so called hunters and the destruction they've caused. The aftermath is intense. The safeguarding towards actual real live children is non existent and this is what makes me angry.
I dont condone my partners behaviour but I genuinely believe he didn't know.
It took me a while to pluck up the courage, from the bottom of my heart I thank each one of you for a reply.
I feel myself very often pining for my old life. I cant even say he was a bad person, I can't say he was a bad dad because that was never the case. I cant even be angry at him. Hes a extremely broken man at the moment. I worry wether he will even make it through. Please tell me this is normal? Should I be angry at him?
I am however, extremely angry at the so called hunters and the destruction they've caused. The aftermath is intense. The safeguarding towards actual real live children is non existent and this is what makes me angry.
I dont condone my partners behaviour but I genuinely believe he didn't know.
Lee1969 - what will the online safety bill entail? What are differences from the old bill?
I am so sorry Gemmsie that you find yourself here, and for the very traumatising experience that you, your children, and your husband have gone through.
I too have been through a vigilante experience. I wasn’t witness to it at the time, which must have been so very traumatic for you. I had the police knock at my door late at night, I expected them to tell me he’d been killed in a car crash as he was so late, but instead they told me he’d been stung by hunters, and subsequently arrested . This was live streamed. The police left me on my own, terrified, having put a marker on my home. They left no information regarding getting support. Just a request to drive over an hour away to pick him up when the police finished with him. That experience alone has left a deep scar. What helped me with the trauma was a Bloom Course on Betrayal Trauma.
If I could talk to myself on that night, I would say, look after yourself first, get all the help you need. Don’t panic, take your time. The criminal process may take a long time with police and possibly CPS. It took 18 months for husbands case.to get to court. Try and avoid scouring the internet for similar cases. Each case is so different, and, sadly, at the end of the day, if it goes to court, it is completely dependant on the judge, sometimes regardless of other professionals advice.
It will take a long time too for your husband to process and understand how he got to this point. It took several months for me to learn the truth about my husbands behaviour. I strongly recommend therapy for you both, individually. Make no firm decisions on your future, take your time to Mke sure the decisions you make are the right ones for you and your family.
I am now nearly 3 years in. Husband left home straight away, lost his job and moved many miles away. I had no choice other than to face people, fortunately I have been wonderfully and lovingly supported, other than by his majority of his family, who have cut us both out. We had no children but had been married for well over 30 years so this loss was like dealing with a death, without the tributes. I definitely went through a grieving process. I am sorry to say, he is now nearing the end of a prison sentence. In his case it was for one conversation and arranging and showing up to meet a 13yo he met on in an adult chat room. A search of his devises showed no other illegal activity. He did however cross the line for our marriage by meeting sex workers and other women met through chat rooms in a porn spiral. We remain ‘friends’ and I am supporting him through prison. On his release we will conclude the separation and start divorce. I think we both need to be independent and responsible for our own lives. His therapy has uncovered a lot, about him, he suffered childhood abuse and it is clear he didn’t know and understand himself, so I now feel I don’t know the real him. He has a diagnosed personality disorder, he is a covert narcissist amongst other disorders. He was a very successful businessman, and seemed very happy with his world, loved by all, but in reality he wasn’t happy and had very low self esteem. These chat rooms played into boosting his confidence.
Sorry I’ve rambled a bit! I just want you to know you’re not alone. You can and will survive this, please put self care first and get all the help you can. I can honesty say I have come through this experience, so far, having learned a lot. I have realised how strong I am, and am using my knowledge to help others. I can hold my head up high, knowing I have done no wrong and have survived one of the worst experiences. You will too. Sending you a huge hug. Xxx
I too have been through a vigilante experience. I wasn’t witness to it at the time, which must have been so very traumatic for you. I had the police knock at my door late at night, I expected them to tell me he’d been killed in a car crash as he was so late, but instead they told me he’d been stung by hunters, and subsequently arrested . This was live streamed. The police left me on my own, terrified, having put a marker on my home. They left no information regarding getting support. Just a request to drive over an hour away to pick him up when the police finished with him. That experience alone has left a deep scar. What helped me with the trauma was a Bloom Course on Betrayal Trauma.
If I could talk to myself on that night, I would say, look after yourself first, get all the help you need. Don’t panic, take your time. The criminal process may take a long time with police and possibly CPS. It took 18 months for husbands case.to get to court. Try and avoid scouring the internet for similar cases. Each case is so different, and, sadly, at the end of the day, if it goes to court, it is completely dependant on the judge, sometimes regardless of other professionals advice.
It will take a long time too for your husband to process and understand how he got to this point. It took several months for me to learn the truth about my husbands behaviour. I strongly recommend therapy for you both, individually. Make no firm decisions on your future, take your time to Mke sure the decisions you make are the right ones for you and your family.
I am now nearly 3 years in. Husband left home straight away, lost his job and moved many miles away. I had no choice other than to face people, fortunately I have been wonderfully and lovingly supported, other than by his majority of his family, who have cut us both out. We had no children but had been married for well over 30 years so this loss was like dealing with a death, without the tributes. I definitely went through a grieving process. I am sorry to say, he is now nearing the end of a prison sentence. In his case it was for one conversation and arranging and showing up to meet a 13yo he met on in an adult chat room. A search of his devises showed no other illegal activity. He did however cross the line for our marriage by meeting sex workers and other women met through chat rooms in a porn spiral. We remain ‘friends’ and I am supporting him through prison. On his release we will conclude the separation and start divorce. I think we both need to be independent and responsible for our own lives. His therapy has uncovered a lot, about him, he suffered childhood abuse and it is clear he didn’t know and understand himself, so I now feel I don’t know the real him. He has a diagnosed personality disorder, he is a covert narcissist amongst other disorders. He was a very successful businessman, and seemed very happy with his world, loved by all, but in reality he wasn’t happy and had very low self esteem. These chat rooms played into boosting his confidence.
Sorry I’ve rambled a bit! I just want you to know you’re not alone. You can and will survive this, please put self care first and get all the help you can. I can honesty say I have come through this experience, so far, having learned a lot. I have realised how strong I am, and am using my knowledge to help others. I can hold my head up high, knowing I have done no wrong and have survived one of the worst experiences. You will too. Sending you a huge hug. Xxx
Tabs- it's sounds like you've come through the other side and you've supported your soon to be ex husband wonderfully.
I can honestly say- I hate all vigilante groups with a passion right now. They made me as a mother feel a complete failure. I couldnt protect the children from seeing or hearing the things they did because these so called hunters wanted their 5 minutes of fame. I know there are some of these groups that offer support and after care for the partners not this particular group though. Ive spoken to a range of women who have all had the same experience with them.
Lee1969 I believe these live streams need to be stopped, even the posting of their pictures on social media should not be allowed until a conviction is made. Ive seen videos of where they've accused innocent people and branded these men. It makes my blood boil. More so when they read the chat logs - it's now making me wonder what they've said beforehand to make these men respond the way they do.
I can honestly say- I hate all vigilante groups with a passion right now. They made me as a mother feel a complete failure. I couldnt protect the children from seeing or hearing the things they did because these so called hunters wanted their 5 minutes of fame. I know there are some of these groups that offer support and after care for the partners not this particular group though. Ive spoken to a range of women who have all had the same experience with them.
Lee1969 I believe these live streams need to be stopped, even the posting of their pictures on social media should not be allowed until a conviction is made. Ive seen videos of where they've accused innocent people and branded these men. It makes my blood boil. More so when they read the chat logs - it's now making me wonder what they've said beforehand to make these men respond the way they do.
Gemsie, I agree re vigilantes. I was, and remain, so angry about them. Ok they uncovered husbands bad behaviour and stopped it. But it raised lots of questions about their tactics. He subsequently had a psychological evaluation which showed no attraction to underage. He was on a adult site, possibly engaging in some role play with another adult. The fact is that it was an adult role playing the role of a child, not a child! That to me should be illegal too. Why is porn legally allowed to show adults dressed up as school girls as that normalises these fantasies.
What child of 13 would be attracted to someone in his 60s who didn't hide his age?!
Then we have the instant and absolute destruction of families. Before they have been tried. Men lose their jobs, families, homes all on the back of this. The live-streaming and videoing is about entertainment for the uneducated masses.
I did force myself to watch the video the day after the sting, and it made me physically sick, particularly the vile comments. I had to flee my home when I was told by friends monitoring the post that details of my address, my car and my movements were published! Clearly I was being watched! I was scared for my life. How is that right? I was a victim! These people were not held to account for that. Facebook would not remove the post, it still remains there.
Hopefully one day someone will see sense and change our laws! I have no great hope for the on line harms bill in this area. Much more education and open discussion needs to happen first to change peoples mindset on sexual crime.
X
What child of 13 would be attracted to someone in his 60s who didn't hide his age?!
Then we have the instant and absolute destruction of families. Before they have been tried. Men lose their jobs, families, homes all on the back of this. The live-streaming and videoing is about entertainment for the uneducated masses.
I did force myself to watch the video the day after the sting, and it made me physically sick, particularly the vile comments. I had to flee my home when I was told by friends monitoring the post that details of my address, my car and my movements were published! Clearly I was being watched! I was scared for my life. How is that right? I was a victim! These people were not held to account for that. Facebook would not remove the post, it still remains there.
Hopefully one day someone will see sense and change our laws! I have no great hope for the on line harms bill in this area. Much more education and open discussion needs to happen first to change peoples mindset on sexual crime.
X
Does anyone know how to point me in the right direction to try and get this changed? Where am I best starting?
I'm fired up in regards to how they go about these stings. I've actually just seen a post on a social media site about a innocent man being 'lit up' .
It's not so much about the sting. Its about the impact its had on my children.
I agree, my partner believed he was talking to someone over the legal age. They sent pics to him and even his solicitor has said that the pics are of women. They spoke about porn. What porn does he watch? I've heard plenty of times that these men go on these sites to enact out role play- feeling that they are safe as its 18+.
I pray that the bill stops these groups being able to live stream and post these men on so called platforms without any sort of conviction. I pray that these groups disappear into the gutter where they belong.
I'm fired up in regards to how they go about these stings. I've actually just seen a post on a social media site about a innocent man being 'lit up' .
It's not so much about the sting. Its about the impact its had on my children.
I agree, my partner believed he was talking to someone over the legal age. They sent pics to him and even his solicitor has said that the pics are of women. They spoke about porn. What porn does he watch? I've heard plenty of times that these men go on these sites to enact out role play- feeling that they are safe as its 18+.
I pray that the bill stops these groups being able to live stream and post these men on so called platforms without any sort of conviction. I pray that these groups disappear into the gutter where they belong.
Thank you so much. Will start having a browse through that now.
The high school has said that one of my children who is really suffering can work from home. Theyve also put in place support for the other one.
The youngest is struggling emotionally and there school is really on form with the support.
I think once we are able to move, life might return to some sort of odd normality.
At the minute I'm struggling to get through day to day things. It's the beginning of the Easter holidays and whilst I would normally look forward to these holidays and have so many days out planned, I have absolutely nothing. I'm finding my self thinking of just trying sleep the days away!!
The high school has said that one of my children who is really suffering can work from home. Theyve also put in place support for the other one.
The youngest is struggling emotionally and there school is really on form with the support.
I think once we are able to move, life might return to some sort of odd normality.
At the minute I'm struggling to get through day to day things. It's the beginning of the Easter holidays and whilst I would normally look forward to these holidays and have so many days out planned, I have absolutely nothing. I'm finding my self thinking of just trying sleep the days away!!
Thank you for your advice. Today has been a completely rubbish, emotional day. My anxiety is at a all time high today and I'm really irritable.
We are looking to relocate out of the area very soon so hopefully that will help us to settle into some sort of normality.
We are looking to relocate out of the area very soon so hopefully that will help us to settle into some sort of normality.
Had vigilantes sting my husband too. They are sick and can completly sympathise although every situation is different and it is horrendous to find ourselves here! You are so brave to post I wanted to other night but had to deal with my mind! Had so much abuse myself since the knock most recently my windows smashed and this will be what The 3rd time please keep strong ????????
gemsie I am currently in the same position looking to fight back against the vigilantes! I wrote to my mop who wrote to the ministry justice whom write back and stated they would not be regulating such group neither do they in the future.
howeve I have all details needed to pursue a personal case against the vigilante hunter who heads the group that stung my partner and will indeed be looking to make sure she is educated ont he emotional and mental trauma my kids have endured. Funny thing is this women is SEN trained she knew two my kids were special educational and still turned up only doorstep after stinging my partner 8 of them to inform me of his actions! Even took my phone off me when I called my family for support to proceed to tell them what my partner had done.
so I am entirely with you! I will be writing against k on not only my local mo but the ministry of justice too this fight is far from over and soemthing will change!
gemsie I am currently in the same position looking to fight back against the vigilantes! I wrote to my mop who wrote to the ministry justice whom write back and stated they would not be regulating such group neither do they in the future.
howeve I have all details needed to pursue a personal case against the vigilante hunter who heads the group that stung my partner and will indeed be looking to make sure she is educated ont he emotional and mental trauma my kids have endured. Funny thing is this women is SEN trained she knew two my kids were special educational and still turned up only doorstep after stinging my partner 8 of them to inform me of his actions! Even took my phone off me when I called my family for support to proceed to tell them what my partner had done.
so I am entirely with you! I will be writing against k on not only my local mo but the ministry of justice too this fight is far from over and soemthing will change!
Lee yes they know, police came out looked and basically toddled off it's happen a lot. I get people shouting abuse at me that I steal children all sorts yet they have no clue I am a survivor so mmm wouldn't it's beyond hard and I shall be putting in a complaint! I also had to refer myself to victim support after I was told I was not entitled victim support were far from happy about that statement!
I am currently looking at relocating at the moment myself! I had a major low point this week and well let's just hope that people don't attempt destroying my property again I don't hold out any hope kind though! I hope you are doing ok also xx
I am currently looking at relocating at the moment myself! I had a major low point this week and well let's just hope that people don't attempt destroying my property again I don't hold out any hope kind though! I hope you are doing ok also xx
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I will definitely look into this. I think its shocking that these so called 'hunters ' try to perform to the public by telling them they safeguard children, yet the real live children at property's are being massively affected mentally by these stings.
The group that did my partner would have known there was children in the property, he had rang 3 hours before in the middle of tea time pretending to be a police officer. He would have heard all the commotion of the kids having their teas. I took over these phone calls from my partner and I told the kids umpteen times to be quiet whilst I was on the phone.
I've actually just seen a sting with a man, his partner clearly has lds and was distressed yet they carried on and put her on camera as well. They then allowed the public on the live stream to violate her.
It makes me so angry.
At the moment, taking them down and my kids is what is keeping me going. I can start a petition in regards to these so called groups but I need 5 email addresses to start the support petition off.
I'm relocating due to this incident. I cant stay here with my children. They no longer feel safe in their own home.
The group that did my partner would have known there was children in the property, he had rang 3 hours before in the middle of tea time pretending to be a police officer. He would have heard all the commotion of the kids having their teas. I took over these phone calls from my partner and I told the kids umpteen times to be quiet whilst I was on the phone.
I've actually just seen a sting with a man, his partner clearly has lds and was distressed yet they carried on and put her on camera as well. They then allowed the public on the live stream to violate her.
It makes me so angry.
At the moment, taking them down and my kids is what is keeping me going. I can start a petition in regards to these so called groups but I need 5 email addresses to start the support petition off.
I'm relocating due to this incident. I cant stay here with my children. They no longer feel safe in their own home.
I'm in council. To be honest they have been brilliant in helping where they can. Even liasing with the other council where I'm relocating to on my behalf.
I've got a few groups that have outed the particular group that came to mine.
I've got a few groups that have outed the particular group that came to mine.
So, a quick update...
Yesterday was the first day the children had seen my partner since the knock. It was literally the best day. Although I was apprehensive as to how he and the children would react to seeing him after everything they've been through, everyone did brilliantly.
It was like nothing had happened and we did the usual family stuff, played games in the garden, ate food, laughed and told as the kids would say 'dad' jokes and for the first time since the knock I saw a tiny glimmer of hope.
We met all together on mutual ground at a family members and for the first time since the vigilantes knocked on the door, I saw no fear, I saw no anxiety I saw children being children and a family being a family!!
Yesterday was the first day the children had seen my partner since the knock. It was literally the best day. Although I was apprehensive as to how he and the children would react to seeing him after everything they've been through, everyone did brilliantly.
It was like nothing had happened and we did the usual family stuff, played games in the garden, ate food, laughed and told as the kids would say 'dad' jokes and for the first time since the knock I saw a tiny glimmer of hope.
We met all together on mutual ground at a family members and for the first time since the vigilantes knocked on the door, I saw no fear, I saw no anxiety I saw children being children and a family being a family!!
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Smile through tears- I completely agree. There needs to be some code of conduct that they should be made to follow. They also need to have safeguard training to be able to safeguard vulnerable adults/children.
Its pretty unrealistic to have it stopped all together. I'm going to email whoever I can to make them aware of the trauma these stings cause to real life children.
To be honest, I don't know how these people get away with doing what they do and how awful for any of us that are completely innocent in all this fearing to be in our own homes. It makes me so cross.
It was so nice. Just being a new normal for a few hours. It now gives us something to look forward to every couple of weeks.
Its pretty unrealistic to have it stopped all together. I'm going to email whoever I can to make them aware of the trauma these stings cause to real life children.
To be honest, I don't know how these people get away with doing what they do and how awful for any of us that are completely innocent in all this fearing to be in our own homes. It makes me so cross.
It was so nice. Just being a new normal for a few hours. It now gives us something to look forward to every couple of weeks.
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Exactly this. Children are innocent in this and absolutely no safeguarding is put in place for situations like this.
I believe I read a article last night that Leicestershire police were drafting a code of conduct along side a hunting group in 2018. I have to believe it was never processed for whatever reason as I can not find it anywhere.
The normal days are the best. They give that tiny glimmer of hope.
Hope your ok today too.
I believe I read a article last night that Leicestershire police were drafting a code of conduct along side a hunting group in 2018. I have to believe it was never processed for whatever reason as I can not find it anywhere.
The normal days are the best. They give that tiny glimmer of hope.
Hope your ok today too.
Gemsie,
What absolute idiots these people are. It always astounds me that these vigilantes don't see the damage to real children when they do their online stings or when they mention innocent parents in their online posts. They absolutely disgust me to the core. I hope your ok xx
What absolute idiots these people are. It always astounds me that these vigilantes don't see the damage to real children when they do their online stings or when they mention innocent parents in their online posts. They absolutely disgust me to the core. I hope your ok xx
So, yesterday for what seems like forever I got up, showered and put some make up on and took my child to the park for the day with a friend, making the most of the nice weather. It felt like a normal day for them few hours that i was out of the house. I seem to be stabilising out abit now.
Tomorrow's going to be a tough one. It's a child's birthday and we usually go for a meals and do the usual birthday routines - so I'm bracing myself to be emotional having to do it on my own!
This breaks my heart.
Tomorrow's going to be a tough one. It's a child's birthday and we usually go for a meals and do the usual birthday routines - so I'm bracing myself to be emotional having to do it on my own!
This breaks my heart.
Hi,
I'm just curious have you managed to do anything about these vigilantes? I'm now obsessed with watching one particular groups activities and managed to capture their faces and even one name, I want to get back at them so badly, they are ruining lives, they don't safeguard children at all (my eldest now is in a special unit at school, youngest thankfully too young to understand) my OH was "stung" at the end of October and even I noticed how much they were putting words into his mouth. He suffers PTSD and was like a rat trapped in a corner all he wanted to do was escape, so being accosted by several people he tried to bolt (I wouldn't blame anyone for that tbh regardless of what they did or didn't do)
now don't get me wrong I've outright told him he was an idiot but he is also addament he knew the person wasn't really 13 just by the way they were talking. It also makes me wonder what the "hunters" hold back when they are quoting what was said in these chats. What are they hiding? They even refuse to give over their phones, one once quoted "like f*** am I handing over my property" the police seemed to be ok with that.
the "hunters" belittle and degrade people, in one case the offender refused to talk to them so they went around to all the neighbours saying everything (which obviously they had no reason or right to do save humiliation). Ive seen mothers crying their eyes out because the "hunters" don't care about them or their children. It's all for their fifteen minutes of glory.
in my case I found out via social media because someone put it all over my fb page. Because they knew all about me as it had clearly been discussed etc. they knew all about me my comings and goings, one bloke went so far as to call me a "p" because I was married to one it must make me one and therefore should have my children taken off me.
it's not like I don't have enough to deal with like ss and police but to have locals harassing me to is too much.
i don't understand why in law there is no body no murder, but when it comes to communication with a decoy they are treated as if real. No child no crime (stupidity granted and rehabilitation obviously but no real child distressed/hurt etc)
I'm just curious have you managed to do anything about these vigilantes? I'm now obsessed with watching one particular groups activities and managed to capture their faces and even one name, I want to get back at them so badly, they are ruining lives, they don't safeguard children at all (my eldest now is in a special unit at school, youngest thankfully too young to understand) my OH was "stung" at the end of October and even I noticed how much they were putting words into his mouth. He suffers PTSD and was like a rat trapped in a corner all he wanted to do was escape, so being accosted by several people he tried to bolt (I wouldn't blame anyone for that tbh regardless of what they did or didn't do)
now don't get me wrong I've outright told him he was an idiot but he is also addament he knew the person wasn't really 13 just by the way they were talking. It also makes me wonder what the "hunters" hold back when they are quoting what was said in these chats. What are they hiding? They even refuse to give over their phones, one once quoted "like f*** am I handing over my property" the police seemed to be ok with that.
the "hunters" belittle and degrade people, in one case the offender refused to talk to them so they went around to all the neighbours saying everything (which obviously they had no reason or right to do save humiliation). Ive seen mothers crying their eyes out because the "hunters" don't care about them or their children. It's all for their fifteen minutes of glory.
in my case I found out via social media because someone put it all over my fb page. Because they knew all about me as it had clearly been discussed etc. they knew all about me my comings and goings, one bloke went so far as to call me a "p" because I was married to one it must make me one and therefore should have my children taken off me.
it's not like I don't have enough to deal with like ss and police but to have locals harassing me to is too much.
i don't understand why in law there is no body no murder, but when it comes to communication with a decoy they are treated as if real. No child no crime (stupidity granted and rehabilitation obviously but no real child distressed/hurt etc)