Waiting
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Hi no point to my post really just a rant.
Im not sure how much longer I can wait . Not heard a thing from the police . Being off with a newborn and a 5 year old . I just wish things would disappear. Every part of this is hard but latley I can't bare it anymore . I wanted to take time off and look after the children change my job ect enjoy being a family make some mum friends ect . I'm lying to all my friends and family. I don't know what to do for the best in any situation . I love him to bits and so dose my daughter , but how can I forgive how we have to live . It's so hard supervising contact because we're all off . I feel like a prisoner . I can't enjoy my children my time off anything . Getting a charge won't make things better but least we will know what were dealing with. I'm thinking in the future how can I surpervise contact wj n my baby will be a toddler running in the next room ect . Will my daughter later be bullied if people say what her father is ect . So many in answered things . I don't want to live isolated with my partner and children . I'm very social and so if my daughter xxx
Im not sure how much longer I can wait . Not heard a thing from the police . Being off with a newborn and a 5 year old . I just wish things would disappear. Every part of this is hard but latley I can't bare it anymore . I wanted to take time off and look after the children change my job ect enjoy being a family make some mum friends ect . I'm lying to all my friends and family. I don't know what to do for the best in any situation . I love him to bits and so dose my daughter , but how can I forgive how we have to live . It's so hard supervising contact because we're all off . I feel like a prisoner . I can't enjoy my children my time off anything . Getting a charge won't make things better but least we will know what were dealing with. I'm thinking in the future how can I surpervise contact wj n my baby will be a toddler running in the next room ect . Will my daughter later be bullied if people say what her father is ect . So many in answered things . I don't want to live isolated with my partner and children . I'm very social and so if my daughter xxx
I could have written this myself, although we have no children together, I fear what might happen in the media as I have teens and he was their step father for a long time, also I'm. Lying the last year and hajf to everyone and I've totally isolated myself. I took 2 months off work but everyone assumed it was because my twin died, it was also that but I spent a lot of time with my partner going through everything and it really helped us get closer. He doesn't live with me anymore but I agreed to supporthim as I know he's a wonderful person who was going through a lot at the time. We've had plea hearing put back 3 times as evidence still not with solicitors as we quistioned 2 of the charges and he changed his name to protect us all from media etc, it might not work but worth a shot. The way I look at it now, it's nobodies business, its between us, I've made no promises to him but talking it all through and this forem helped me understand. The trust I had in him has gone but he's working so so hard and is like a new person more open and honest. So give yourself a break, your doing everything you can bless you must be so hard with a baby but remember, this is about you, your partner and children, noone erkse so don't feel guilty about not telling people. Xx
Sorry to hear you lost your twin <3
I feel guilty some days I look at my children and wonder if I'm doing the right thing . In order for them to have a normal life friends over ect being part of the community it would be easier to not be in close contact with there father . But he's hear every day and they live him to bits . Im not sure right know what I want to do and I am supporting my partner he has noone else . My family will not understand there very go to college have a good job gets married ect they have all followed the traditional route m we are already the odd ones out for not being married ect . I just wanted a normal family a normal life and sticking by his side is going to isolate me and my family will not just let me run off into the distance with him and the children. My daughter is at the age were she want to go to friends have friends over . Her friends live next door now and across the road and she can't understand why she can't have them over ect she is crying . Each day's a new issue and I don't know what to say . With the new baby comes alot of visitors family ect I'm worried the police or social with spring us without warning . But also my partner is so remosrsefull he looks at my girls and crys knowing that he's fucked everything up and there never going to be a normal life . Were struggerling with money keeping 2 houses. Everything's just a massive mess . I worry with the media that in my children's future there father will always be one Google search away from getting bullied ect . I don't car ewhat friends I have or how the town react but just want my girls to have a happy normal life xxx
I feel guilty some days I look at my children and wonder if I'm doing the right thing . In order for them to have a normal life friends over ect being part of the community it would be easier to not be in close contact with there father . But he's hear every day and they live him to bits . Im not sure right know what I want to do and I am supporting my partner he has noone else . My family will not understand there very go to college have a good job gets married ect they have all followed the traditional route m we are already the odd ones out for not being married ect . I just wanted a normal family a normal life and sticking by his side is going to isolate me and my family will not just let me run off into the distance with him and the children. My daughter is at the age were she want to go to friends have friends over . Her friends live next door now and across the road and she can't understand why she can't have them over ect she is crying . Each day's a new issue and I don't know what to say . With the new baby comes alot of visitors family ect I'm worried the police or social with spring us without warning . But also my partner is so remosrsefull he looks at my girls and crys knowing that he's fucked everything up and there never going to be a normal life . Were struggerling with money keeping 2 houses. Everything's just a massive mess . I worry with the media that in my children's future there father will always be one Google search away from getting bullied ect . I don't car ewhat friends I have or how the town react but just want my girls to have a happy normal life xxx
And as for the name change what have you done ? Have you given new name to the police have you cha he's ID or bank account names ect ? We have changed his name but not on anything ect the police last time said don't do it . Don't do anything hasty but there maybe just wanting him to use his original becaus ethey want him to be outed xx
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Thank you . Yes I feel they just pretend to care to call up and ask were he is ect . The solicitor didn't say much on the name change but I wud prefere to give it a chance . If they don't use it we don't loose out . I just thought they would need to use it now so that when the evidence is collected/finished they can send to CPS in the new name . As for the time scale they all said it would be over with before I gave birth. Then they said this week is when the police woman will get the eveidance back ect that was months ago xx
Hi there, thank you for your condolences, it's been the worst two years of my life but I'm finally making headway through therapy and meds. He got the name change form signed by another solicitor he used in his divorcebwhonkbew him week, then brought it yo police station when he got charges. The officer in charge just said she'd never seen it in her career and he explained its to safeguard me, my children and his own children and family then it was sent off to cps. Don't ever listen to police. All they care about is that he's punished, talk to your solicitor or barrister first. I'm also going to get my gp to write to judge stating the impact the media would have on my mental health after all I've been through and my children's mental health and ask for no media. It might not work but I'd give it all a go. Your head sounds like it's spinning I know tgat feeling well. Some days I'm. OK and logical then others is a head spin day. Xx