Family and Friends Forum

Susie1765

Member since
June 2021

3 posts

Hi not been on in a while OH has sentencing mid May his social says the courts have asked weather I'd allow him to be tagged at our address

As we are separated but still living in same house its Al getting to much fir me now I'm in Scotland



I think he will be tagged rather than custodial as prison here are bursting at the seams

Every day is a struggle

I'm in the process of looking fir somewhere to stay its in the hands of the council now

I have never felt so alone I have no one

Posted Sun April 24, 2022 12:37amReport post

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Post deleted


Posted Sun April 24, 2022 7:27am
Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12amReport post

Susie1765

Member since
June 2021

3 posts

Thankyou daffodil

Every day is a struggle

I have no family it will just be me ..

I'm not sure I can go through this again 2nd time around it doesn't get any easier

Posted Wed April 27, 2022 10:46pmReport post

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

473 posts

Hi,



I hope ur OK susie xx

Posted Thu April 28, 2022 9:51amReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Dawn

I'm OK sentencing next Mon..

Hope you are well too xx

Posted Tue May 10, 2022 12:02amReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Well Monday is looming

Scared for him ..

I know we aren't together but we still share a house





I feel so much guilt I wish he could've just spoken to me

It's a year today he went into hospital fir major brain surgery it was 50 /50 he'd make it just getting over all that and he's home resting and recovering when we gey the knock a week to the day he was operated ..

It's been nearly a year since the knock been in limbo and a blurr ever since second time around

I can't do it again

My mental health won't allow it .

He's sentence on Mon 16th May .

I can't eat or sleep .

I work fir myself It's a demanding physical job .

Bit it's the only thing that's a constant in my life .

Sorry wrote a book x

Posted Thu May 12, 2022 10:37pmReport post

Cloud

Member since
May 2021

154 posts

Just wanted to let you know I read your post Suzie and I'm thinking of you. I can't imagine the pain of having had to go through all this twice - and with his surgery etc on top.

If you think back to how many times in the past you thought 'i can't do this' but actually you could and you did. This is another huge step and challenge. You will get through. You can do this xx focus on things you can do, however small, and try to put the things you can't do anything about to one side for now xx

Posted Thu May 12, 2022 10:47pmReport post

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Susie - I'm holding your hand.

Each minute as it comes. Deep breaths.

Sending support and love to you. X

Posted Thu May 12, 2022 10:49pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Susie65

Sending hugs and strength to you xx

I hope Monday goes as well as it can, will be thinking of you both xx

Posted Thu May 12, 2022 10:54pmReport post

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

473 posts

Hi susie,

Thinking of u love, u r not alone I am here for u, I'm always thinking about how u r doing xx reach out if u need to love xx

Posted Thu May 12, 2022 11:21pmReport post

Sparrow

Member since
April 2022

40 posts

Susie

What resilience you must have had through so much. As Cloud says consider times when you felt you cannot do it -yet you've got through. My thoughts are with you over the coming days and on Monday. Much love to you. Xx

Posted Fri May 13, 2022 6:43amReport post

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Post deleted


Posted Fri May 13, 2022 7:27am
Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12amReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Post deleted by user


Posted Fri May 13, 2022 4:20pm
Edited Fri May 13, 2022 4:20pmReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

THANKYOU ALL X

I WILL NEED ALL THE HELP AND LOVE I CAN GET ITS JUST ME NOW I HAVE NO ONE



THANKYOU ALL AGAIN IT MEANS ALOT X

Posted Fri May 13, 2022 4:21pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Susie65

You are definitely not alone we are here to lean on for all the support you need xx hugs sent xx

Posted Fri May 13, 2022 4:39pmReport post

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Sending so much love - you are not alone, you are not alone so help me God please, you are loved here and you are not alone susie x

Posted Fri May 13, 2022 9:11pmReport post

Sparrow

Member since
April 2022

40 posts

Susie

Thinking of you this eve ahead of tomorrow.
xx

Posted Sun May 15, 2022 10:21pmReport post

LouFB

Member since
December 2021

45 posts

Thinking of you and sending strength and hugs xx

Posted Sun May 15, 2022 11:38pmReport post

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Post deleted


Posted Mon May 16, 2022 6:55am
Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12amReport post

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Good luck today xx

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 7:22amReport post

Livuk1963

Member since
April 2022

30 posts

Thinking of you today sending love and support xxx

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 7:25amReport post

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Sending positive vibes your way today. Everything is crossed for a positive outcome

Xx

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 12:08pmReport post

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Sending strength and love to you xxx

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 12:22pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Susie65

Been thinking of you both today and hope you are ok xx

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 2:06pmReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Well not good news if you can any of this good



He received 30 months (this is 2nd time around last time he received 12 months .)



So I'm in shock to say the least I didn't go to.the court but I drove him in

We are Scotland..

It didn't make the papers today .. but someone told me it could at a later date ? It's a long time I can't remember from the last time.?

I'm gutted even though I know it was over with us has been since the knock year ago .

I.dong know it just makes it all reall now..

I'm just in a mess

Gutted angry hurt guilt repeat .

Thanks fir all you kind words

Susie

I have no family none and now I've lost his so it's just me ..

So so.so alone

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 8:14pmReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

I don't know what the categories are of what he's done best I don't know I'm sooo angry hurt guilty feeling so sorry fir myself ..

Susie

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 8:15pmReport post

Cloud

Member since
May 2021

154 posts

Feeling sorry for yourself seems like a totally reasonable response to such a traumatic time. Feel however you need to.

I hope you are able to be kind to yourself and when you are ready that you can work out a way to move forwards xx

I read something somewhere about literally hugging yourself if there is no one to hug you. Treat yourself as you would a friend in the same situation. Tell yourself the things you would want to say.

The darkest times do pass xx

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 8:30pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Hi Susie65

I am so sorry to read your post I have been thinking of you

We are here for you so please please reach out dont dwell on your own

The feelings you have are what we all feel and the pain is unbearable but you are not alone

Please be kind to yourself and just wanted to send a huge hug to you xx

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 8:48pmReport post

Orchid94

Member since
July 2021

98 posts

Hi Suzie,

I'm so sorry to read that you are going through all of this without any support but please know you are not alone. You will always find care and kindness here.

Try and take things hour by hour if you need to, sending you a massive hug. You will get through this. X

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 9:07pmReport post

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Lots of love to you susie and a great big hug x x

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 9:49pmReport post

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

473 posts

Hi susie,

I am so sorry love, here if u want to chat love xx I can't believe he got that long x

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 10:55pmReport post

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Susie65, so sorry this is happening to you.

I echo everyones comments, you are not alone, we are here and so are the 'stopitnow' team, call them if you are struggling.

Thinking of you x

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 11:51pmReport post

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2750 posts

Post deleted by user


Posted Tue May 17, 2022 2:00am
Edited Wed May 18, 2022 2:36amReport post

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Post deleted


Posted Tue May 17, 2022 6:35am
Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12amReport post

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

637 posts

Susie all I can do is send good thoughts and strength to get through this.

Posted Tue May 17, 2022 7:38amReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Well it hit the papers today ...so now I know exactly what he's done and when he started again .. longer and more horrific than I could imagine .



He wouldn't tell me the police wouldn't tell me

The press have made up a load of s#£#

They put his name street name and area .. so I'm just waiting fir the repercussions .

I'm so alone im hurt angry guilt alone no matter what People say ididnt know anything till.the knock...

We live in a small village

I am so angry ...

He is totally messed up .

I have so much to deal with

I came home last night his work boots were in the hall I could smell his cologne it makes me sick ...

I'm feeling so so alone

Posted Tue May 17, 2022 9:44pmReport post

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

473 posts

Hi Susie,

I am so sorry u r going through this again and alone, I hope u will be OK x

Posted Tue May 17, 2022 11:16pmReport post

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Susie65

So sorry to hear this. I know exactly what you are going through, ours hit the media yesterday.

I took the advice of the lovely ladies on here. I have chosen to carry on as normal, the best I can. Stay off social media and see how things go. I will deal with any repercussions if it happens. Its been difficult not to let my mind wander but I kept telling myself yesterdays paper is now in the bin and each day any online article (I have no idea if its online I presume it is) will be further down the search engine.

You will get through this. Put his boots away and his clothes if it helps do whatever you need, put yourself first x x

Posted Tue May 17, 2022 11:33pm
Edited Tue May 17, 2022 11:35pmReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Thanks to you all sad sister I'm so sorry x

I've stripped his bed packed up alot of his stuff

Tonight I can't sleep 3 night now I can't eat ..

I'm sorry

Posted Wed May 18, 2022 1:43amReport post

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Post deleted


Posted Wed May 18, 2022 5:16am
Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12amReport post

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Morning Suzie,

I hope you managed to get some sleep. Do whatever you need to today to distract yourself. Go for a long walk, if you can, be at one with nature (I really find this relaxing, calming). Read a book, clean you house or sit and watch one of your favourite films. You deserve it.

Have a good day x we are here if you need us x

Sadsister

Posted Wed May 18, 2022 9:15amReport post

Tabs

Member since
November 2019

501 posts

Susie, I am so so sorry for what you are going through. I remember so well all my husbands things being around and 'normal' when he left, never to come back. His smell on his pillow. I left it all for a while and then moved it all to one room, until I was able to pack it all up. Heartbreaking. I too lived alone, but I leant on friends very heavily, and they supported me. Try and find someone you trust, they will want to help.

In the meantime, imagine us all here from this forum, remember all our words, and when you try to eat or sleep, imagine us there with you, encouraging you. You are important, you are needed, love yourself and let others love you. Take good care of yourself. Xxx

Posted Wed May 18, 2022 9:22amReport post

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

285 posts

Susie, it's safe to say that every single one of us on here is behind you - feeling your pain, understanding what you're going through and sending you virtual hugs. You're really not alone xx

Posted Wed May 18, 2022 1:54pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Hi Susie65

Just wanted to check in on you x

We are all here behind you to give you some strength and support xx

Posted Wed May 18, 2022 3:17pmReport post

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Echoing the sentiments here.... you are not alone, we are here Susie X

Posted Wed May 18, 2022 8:21pmReport post

Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

We are going through this in Scotland aswel. You are not alone. Sending you a big hug and strength xx

Posted Wed May 18, 2022 9:59pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Hi Susie65

Hope you are ok? Please let us know xx

Posted Thu May 19, 2022 5:16pmReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Hi all I'm OK went back to work yesterday I really didn't feel like it but as he has left me without anything I really need to work..



All my clients know they've known from the start of this nightmare all 19 of them and their families have been very supportive which makes me cry too ????

They all know what's happened now and again they have all been supportive as have my neighbours apart from one !

So far there's been no repercussions fingers crossed it stays that way .

It's coming home to an empty house I struggle with .. I have my floof he's a grey cat called Graydy ..he's noticed somthing is up he's been really clingy which isn't him atal



I gutted the house on Wed luckily the weather was nice (Scotland, )

Did loads of washing cleaned



Thankyou all for you kind words and advice all of it good ..

I know I keep saying it but there is only ME now

I'm feeling very very sorry fir myself

Just crying crying crying

It's been a long year

Thankyou ALL AGAIN X

LOVE YOU ALL

Posted Fri May 20, 2022 7:32pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Evening Susie65

So glad to hear from you was getting worried x

You deserve the love and support from your clients so dont be hard on yourself you have done nothing wrong

It will be so difficult for a while until you settle in to a new routine x

Take a day at a time but be kind to yourself

Even though you only know us on here we are all here to offer whatever support you need xx

Posted Fri May 20, 2022 7:55pmReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Upset mum

Thankyou xx

Posted Fri May 20, 2022 9:12pmReport post

Rick7516

Member since
May 2022

78 posts

All the very best susie65 we are just at the start only 3 weeks from the knock such a long way to go now .. Good luck I hope the very best for you

Posted Fri May 20, 2022 9:29pmReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Rick

My heart goes out to you love from Scotland xx

Posted Fri May 20, 2022 10:03pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Susie1765

Evening Susie

Just checking in on you to make sure you are doing ok xx

Posted Mon May 23, 2022 7:50pmReport post

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Hi I'm not OK

He's left me in such a mess ????

Posted Wed May 25, 2022 10:18pmReport post

Jd2021

Member since
October 2021

26 posts

Post deleted


Posted Wed May 25, 2022 10:32pm
Edited Thu March 14, 2024 9:42amReport post

LouFB

Member since
December 2021

45 posts

Just wanted to reach out and send you a big hug Susie.
You're not alone. Can't imagine what you're going through right now but we're all here for you.

Posted Wed May 25, 2022 11:41pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Morning Susie65

So sorry to hear things are no better xx

Have you reached out to anyone near to you for some support?

I wish I could do something to help you but as you know this forum is open to everyone so it is not the place to put contact names etc

Just wanted to send you a virtual hug and please keep reaching out on here xx

Posted Thu May 26, 2022 11:02amReport post

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Sending you love Susie x x x

Posted Thu May 26, 2022 8:44pmReport post

Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

Hi Susie65. Hope you are doing good and adjusting to this new normal.

We are also in Scotland and I read your post saying your husband had just been sentenced. Can I ask how long you were waiting for sentencing since the arrest?

We got the knock at Christmas so we're 6 months waiting now and have heard nothing yet.

Posted Tue June 14, 2022 12:43pmReport post

Quick exit