Family and Friends Forum

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 1:45amReport post

I watched a programme last night, it was about a serial killer and featured his dad. A comment from a psychiatrist stuck in my mind.

She said when helping family members cope with a criminal act in their family - they encourage them to break that person into fragments. They should suffer no guilt or shame in continuing to love the fragrants of the person they had always known, loved and trusted.

They should also feel no guilt for the fragment of that persons crime, that is for that person and only that person to bear.

Just found this an interesting way of putting it.......

Edited Mon April 25, 2022 2:07am

Maij

Member since
December 2020

287 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 3:02amReport post

Hi Smile

thanks for sharing that . It actually made me sad and cry. I entirely agree and it reminds me of what my son said to me "I have to carry this with me for always now" I have no guilt and I love him dearly, I feel only sadness that he didn't ask for help when he was at uni when this happened. But how many teenagers do?

we just support and guide them to bear this offence safely, learning from their behaviour to make changes to avoid this happening again.


great post smile x thanks for sharing

maij x

Edited Mon April 25, 2022 3:11am

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 4:33amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Mon April 25, 2022 4:34pm

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 5:15amReport post

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Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 5:15amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Maij

Member since
December 2020

287 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 9:35amReport post

Hi Daffodil



yes , we all make mistakes big and small. As long as we reflect on them, we learn from them change and grow as individuals.



and yes i agree we are more than just our mistakes and they should not define us.



thank you smile xx

maij x



xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 3:37pmReport post

Hi Smile,

Thank you for sharing I wish my sons best friends could look at it this way but they ha e cut him off I respect there decision as it is a lot to understand but this does not define my son he like many is a good person but got lost in all of this

I hope you and your son are doing ok xx

I was told his sentancing date is later this week I just hope it dosent get cancelled again my nerves and anxiety is at a high level again xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 4:34pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Tue April 26, 2022 4:31am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 5:36pmReport post

Thank you so much Smile xx

I was hoping they would have more time out of there room as my son spends so much time in patrol status / lockdown

I am dreading it but we need to know what sentance he will serve x

It's a shame about his friends but as you say we need to move forward and not let the what ifs hopdnus back xx

I will of course let you know the outcome xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 5:46pmReport post

Take care x