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Social services - when do they get in contact?

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Brokendreams

Member since
February 2020

48 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 10:56amReport post

Hi,

When my sons dad was first arrested SS got involved, did assessment said supervised contact and closed case.



After he was sentenced (extreme images animals, no children) - I stopped contact to safeguard against social involvement (as I had an idea they'd contact me again). His probation officer said as he has children under 18 they would need to put a referral in.

He was sentenced over 6 weeks ago, and probation mentioned their referral 3 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything as of yet.



How long do these things usually take? As I feel on edge every day waiting for the call. Especially after reading through some people's experiences!



Also to add - his SHPO is only regarding computers and we don't live together he has his own place.



Thank you.

Edited Mon April 25, 2022 11:07am

Brokendreams

Member since
February 2020

48 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 11:54amReport post

Hiya Lee.

I was thinking about it but then equally I'm hoping they won't bother being involved as my sons dad has told probation he's no contact at present.



I feel if I call them, i could be opening a can of worms into my life.



I don't know what's best to do.

:(



X

Edited Mon April 25, 2022 11:54am

Brokendreams

Member since
February 2020

48 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 12:33pmReport post

Maybe not direct contact. I'm not sure.



I don't want them anywhere near me. I was reading through some other people's situations and a lot of them are at PLO stage for one reason or another. I'd like to avoid SS as much as possible!



X

Brokendreams

Member since
February 2020

48 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 4:59pmReport post

That's very true.

I just honestly don't want the agg, not that anyone else does either, but I'd do anything to not have the involvement. And waiting for them to call is just so draining mentally. Even the thought of having them involved is making me anxious. :/

I'm worried about losing my children. X

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 6:13pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Brokendreams

Member since
February 2020

48 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 6:22pmReport post

Hiya both,



Yes he has a SHPO, but it is all regarding computers and the Internet. I.e - must not delete Internet history/must let police know within 3 days if he buys a device with Internet capability.

Yes on SOR 5 years.

We don't live together, both have separate homes.

He was also sentenced for ABH (separate offence) so between a violent crime and a sex one I feel like I've got no chance with SS. They don't seem to care about the circumstances of situations (the extreme images had been on an old family pc since 2014 and no more since). And the ABH was after a lot of provoking.

Unfortunately I know they won't care about things like that. It's affecting me a lot, but I can't show that either. I'm just on edge every day.



X

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 6:54pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Brokendreams

Member since
February 2020

48 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 7:31pmReport post

My son is only 2.5 so... But yes he loves his dad.

I don't even know where to start with a safety plan. I've read so many threads on here but can't seem to work it out, it's overwhelming.



Any clear instructions about what to put in a safety plan would be very appreciated. X

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Mon April 25, 2022 7:57pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Brokendreams

Member since
February 2020

48 posts

Posted Wed April 27, 2022 2:29pmReport post

Thank you.

I've had a look at both, but it seems these are things I've been doing for ages anyway - supervised contact. No personal care. Internet security etc.

Is there anything I'm missing? I'm hyper fixating on this most days now. It's making everyday life hard to cope with just waiting for this call.

Brokendreams

Member since
February 2020

48 posts

Posted Wed April 27, 2022 5:21pmReport post

Bump. X