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Hello, I am looking for some advice and not sure if anyone can help me.
It's now 3 weeks since my partner got his knock at the door. I have not seen him for 4 weeks now as we didn't live together and only conversation we have had is about him getting help, me getting counselling and putting our relationship to aside while we focus on supporting for ourselves. I have to inform work of this situation as I work in education. (I haven't been in work since this all happened as I am a finding all of this very hard. I am dreading the conversation.
How do I start the conversation?
Do I tell them now or do I need to wait and tell them once the investigation had been complete as he is on bail currently while investigations happen.
wondering if anyone else been in this situation with them working in education?
what was the outcome of the conversation?
Who in the work place needs to know?
thank you
Heart!
It's now 3 weeks since my partner got his knock at the door. I have not seen him for 4 weeks now as we didn't live together and only conversation we have had is about him getting help, me getting counselling and putting our relationship to aside while we focus on supporting for ourselves. I have to inform work of this situation as I work in education. (I haven't been in work since this all happened as I am a finding all of this very hard. I am dreading the conversation.
How do I start the conversation?
Do I tell them now or do I need to wait and tell them once the investigation had been complete as he is on bail currently while investigations happen.
wondering if anyone else been in this situation with them working in education?
what was the outcome of the conversation?
Who in the work place needs to know?
thank you
Heart!
I'm. Not sure you need to tell them as you don't live together, so don't rush Into anything yet x
What makes you think you need to tell them anything yet? Looking at it in simple terms, he's not guilty until he pleas or is found guilty.
Other people on here work in education and will hopefully be able to help, but from what I understand you'd only need to talk to work about it once charges have been made ( at the very earliest).
I'd also question if you'd need to declare it anyway as you don't live together and an assumption that you are not married.
The LF website has information on disclosure. Some advise I had from a therapist was this.
You don't condone what has happened.
Say what he did do.
What he didn't do.
Work he's done /doing to avoid this happening again.
Other people on here work in education and will hopefully be able to help, but from what I understand you'd only need to talk to work about it once charges have been made ( at the very earliest).
I'd also question if you'd need to declare it anyway as you don't live together and an assumption that you are not married.
The LF website has information on disclosure. Some advise I had from a therapist was this.
You don't condone what has happened.
Say what he did do.
What he didn't do.
Work he's done /doing to avoid this happening again.
Heart,
There is a wonderful lady on here called BusyLizzie who is in the same profession, if you can search for her posts I am sure you will find the info you need. I hope you are coping ok and have someone outside of this forum to support you xx
There is a wonderful lady on here called BusyLizzie who is in the same profession, if you can search for her posts I am sure you will find the info you need. I hope you are coping ok and have someone outside of this forum to support you xx
Thank you all, I will seach for that lady. I have counselling sessions book just on waiting game now until then. I am reading posts on here which are very useful and hopefully in time this will get easier! A lot do people around me don't want me supporting my partner and wants me to disconnect him from my life but I really can't do that as I still love him but then I don't want to loose the people around me either. It's so hard knowing what to do! But hopefully counselling etc will help me.
thank you again
thank you again
Sorry to hear of your situation. I'm a teacher (secondary) and was told by the police to inform the safeguarding lead straight away. She then had to contact LADO to confirm I was not part of the investigation etc. I was signed off for a bit so this did not impact on work as such. I know of someone else who worked at university level and I don't think they were under obligation to tell them. If you work with under 18s I think you probably have to tell them asap, but if you are unionised you could ask for their advice?
When you do feel ready to return to work (took me a few months) I did a staggered return which was really helpful x
When you do feel ready to return to work (took me a few months) I did a staggered return which was really helpful x
Sorry forgot to add that the conversation was fine. Our safeguarding lead is amazing. I said what had happened (on morning of knock just after police left so you can imagine how wobbly I was!) and she said okay lets breathe for a minute. She was calm and sensible and the schools response over the last year has been incredibly supportive. She had to tell the head and therefore his assistant knows but no one else.
Sadly safeguarding leads hear all kinds of awful stories so it's pretty hard to shock them. The best ones are able to care for your well-being and be practical at the same time xx
Sadly safeguarding leads hear all kinds of awful stories so it's pretty hard to shock them. The best ones are able to care for your well-being and be practical at the same time xx
Hello
I work in education and I have told my deputy head and head teacher when it all happened in March and they were so supportive. Work has been a distraction for me but I did take some time off to process it all. And to be honest I'm still processing. it's just such a horrible situation to be in. But I don't feel so alone after visiting this forum x
I work in education and I have told my deputy head and head teacher when it all happened in March and they were so supportive. Work has been a distraction for me but I did take some time off to process it all. And to be honest I'm still processing. it's just such a horrible situation to be in. But I don't feel so alone after visiting this forum x
I'm really interested to hear from people in education too.
Have you kept your jobs? Do your employers even know that you live with someone being investigated
I feel sick..
Have you kept your jobs? Do your employers even know that you live with someone being investigated
I feel sick..
Thank you all for your comments. I was unsure what I needed to do as we never lived together and we don't have children and we are not married so was unsure if I needed to let work place know or not.