I cant believe I'm here.
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Well done for posting - it can be hard to share as its a form of accepting the devestating reality. The people on this forum are incredibly supportive and have a wide range of knowledge and experience so if you eve have any questions just ask away.
It is a huge thing to happen and the procedure often takes a very long time. Processing things is such a long process too. Take one step at a time and speak to people (close friends/ counseling etc) when you can xx
It is a huge thing to happen and the procedure often takes a very long time. Processing things is such a long process too. Take one step at a time and speak to people (close friends/ counseling etc) when you can xx
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It is a nightmare but somehow you get through it and gradually the shock fades a bit. I feel like it has a grieving process.
My story/ journey: husband got knock for iioc early 2021. Admitted guilt straight away. Came back from police station saying he had a porn addiction. He left for his mum's straight away as we have young kids.
Took me a while to process enough allow contact so had to get SS assessment etc. He's allowed fully supervised contact.
Our relationship ended basically immediately. I said he needed to work on himself and we'd see where we were but in doing this he started blaming me and our relationship so I knew for sure it was over.
Hes done lots of hour counseling/ therapy and joined an addicts anonymous thing.
He got charged after 7 months. Took another 6months to get sentenced. 2 yr suspended for thousands of iioc across all categories - majority cat C.
Ive had a bit of counseling but would like to get more when there's a fraction of time to do so!
He's been supported by his family. Lost his job but trying to find different work now.
Each case is so different but I was looking for full stories at the beginning so thought I'd share x
My story/ journey: husband got knock for iioc early 2021. Admitted guilt straight away. Came back from police station saying he had a porn addiction. He left for his mum's straight away as we have young kids.
Took me a while to process enough allow contact so had to get SS assessment etc. He's allowed fully supervised contact.
Our relationship ended basically immediately. I said he needed to work on himself and we'd see where we were but in doing this he started blaming me and our relationship so I knew for sure it was over.
Hes done lots of hour counseling/ therapy and joined an addicts anonymous thing.
He got charged after 7 months. Took another 6months to get sentenced. 2 yr suspended for thousands of iioc across all categories - majority cat C.
Ive had a bit of counseling but would like to get more when there's a fraction of time to do so!
He's been supported by his family. Lost his job but trying to find different work now.
Each case is so different but I was looking for full stories at the beginning so thought I'd share x
Hi Polly Pocket
These words of advise from everyone are so true and the helpline is another form of support
I am also a mum and as said there are a few of us on here
This journey is not one any of us imagined we would ever be on but here we are x
This forum is truly a godsend so please keep posting we are all here to offer support xx
These words of advise from everyone are so true and the helpline is another form of support
I am also a mum and as said there are a few of us on here
This journey is not one any of us imagined we would ever be on but here we are x
This forum is truly a godsend so please keep posting we are all here to offer support xx
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Hi polly pocket, soory your in the club with us that noone wants to be in. I honestly don't know how I would have coped without it, it wasn't my son but my partner (communication), all the mums are amazing on this, I have sons so kind of understand. We are all here for you x
Hi Poly Pocket
I empathise with you my son was 23 when this happened. We didn't receive the knock, he teported himself to the police, teceived a caution, 2 years on SOR , may lose his career over this.
the most important things are for your son to be open and honest with the authorities and you and to seek help from maybe a specialist councellor , call LFF for advice on self help groups / courses inform plus course etc. its so important for him to demonstrate that he is addressing his behaviour to help him change his practice.
its so hard for us as mums to yhink of our sons committing these crimes, but we need to support and understand them to help them change.
big hug to you and your son and best wishes for the best possible outcome, which is probably a long way off yet
maij x
I empathise with you my son was 23 when this happened. We didn't receive the knock, he teported himself to the police, teceived a caution, 2 years on SOR , may lose his career over this.
the most important things are for your son to be open and honest with the authorities and you and to seek help from maybe a specialist councellor , call LFF for advice on self help groups / courses inform plus course etc. its so important for him to demonstrate that he is addressing his behaviour to help him change his practice.
its so hard for us as mums to yhink of our sons committing these crimes, but we need to support and understand them to help them change.
big hug to you and your son and best wishes for the best possible outcome, which is probably a long way off yet
maij x
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Polly Pocket, I'm so sorry that you find yourself here. I too am here because of my son; the initial shock was devastating - he was popular, high-achieving, amazing. We're now a year in, still awaiting charges, and there have been some dark dark times.....at one point he and I were virtually estranged and I was contemplating cutting him out of my life totally.
If someone had told me a year ago, or even six months ago, that things would get better, I wouldn't have believed them for a second. But the last couple of months have been OK and we've just got back from a family weekend away where we had a really fabulous time and things felt normal.
Take time to arm yourself with information, look after yourself, be selective about who you tell and don't rush into anything. Sending huge hugs xx
If someone had told me a year ago, or even six months ago, that things would get better, I wouldn't have believed them for a second. But the last couple of months have been OK and we've just got back from a family weekend away where we had a really fabulous time and things felt normal.
Take time to arm yourself with information, look after yourself, be selective about who you tell and don't rush into anything. Sending huge hugs xx