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Hard knock life for us!

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Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 12:47pmReport post

Almost 5 months after The Knock. Gave birth to our first child a week before my husband was arrested on 23rd December and he is not allowed to come home according to bail conditions. That was the last time I saw him. Devastating.

Husband confided in his friend/employer what had happened and the company forced him to resign from his job.

I had just started maternity leave on basic pay so we had no choice but to sell our home we worked so hard to buy. Devastating again.

I'm now living with family in a different country with our small child (I'm not from the UK originally). Husband is in Scotland on bail just awaiting sentencing. My poor head is spinning.

How cruel life can be. We've lost everything even before sentencing.

Please tell me this will be ok

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 12:57pmReport post

Christmas this really, truly is so cruel. The crime itself is so selfish - whether we love the offenders or not. But then we get punished too. Over and over again.

I'm so sorry for your situation. One day at a time is all we can do X

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

874 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 1:26pmReport post

Christmas,

Unfortunately, it's a very similar story for everyone and those with children suffer way worse, it's heartbreaking. I'm not at the end of this journey but it gets better, there's bumps along the way. There are users on here who are at the end and are doing just fine but there are also some who moved on with their lives. I think you learn to deal with it (in the same way as grief/loss) even if you stay with your partner and look for ways to work around the nightmare and the limitations it brings. Sending love and support xx

Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 1:27pmReport post

Thanks so much for the reply PolyPocket. I don't think families can be tested much more than this! It's a living nightmare.

I feel like my life has ended and I'm just living for our baby now. Taking it day by day. But heartbroken.

I keep asking the universe why I'm being punished when I've tried to do everything I could just to have a 'normal' family life. Something people take for granted. Feel really bitter/jealous of family and friends at times. I keep thinking I deserve what they have. I didn't do anything wrong.

We worked fulltime, saved hard for a wedding, saved hard to buy our home. We waited until we were in a better position to start a family which took years. All for nothing now. Everything collapsed in a few hours. No family, no home, no marriage, no solid future.

The knock happened only a week after our child was born. We didn't even get around to taking a family photo of the 3 of us before the police knocked.

Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 1:37pmReport post

Thanks BaffledB. I need to keep remembering this is a process and things won't always be like this. Glad you are finding things a bit easier now. Can't wait until I feel like that x

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

874 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 2:12pmReport post

I really sympathise with you, I often wonder why me and think how I've been so good throughout life and this was my happy ending but now that doesn't look to be the case. Where there's a will there is a way and we can definitely get through the other end. Stay strong <3 x