Family and Friends Forum

I hope they aren't doing it on purpose! It certainly feels that way sometimes!

The covid restrictions in prison are farcical. They are bigging themselves up stating violence is reduced, drug taking is at an all time low but that's not a result of their support more that no one has been leaving cells! It'd be interesting to see how mental health results fair!

I could go on....

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Oh Smile

It's awful isn't it x

I was hoping once my son is moved he would have a better chance of been able to get support and education and time out of the cell remand has been a shit show but it sounds as poor when they do get moved

Has he been able to work as I know he was looking forward to it xx

Smile

Bless him it's so shit xx

How do they expect them to try to focus on improving themselves

Honestly it just makes me mad xx

I hope you are ok xx

Smile.

I only.wish our paths could cross I dont know you but yet I feel the connection x

You have been there , you held my hand in court and I thank you xx

Hi Smile

That sounds like a good plan for you both it stops the disappointment god knows our sons just want to keep busy xx

I am doing ok thank you for asking, we knew it would go out in the media but this is just the next part we had to go through x it does not warrent or deserve anymore of my tears they have done there worst and what we have been through we are still standing so the media can just go fourth! I just need to focus on my son and my other two young adults xx

Thank you Smile as always xx

I had to comment. I am so massively frustrated with how long everything takes. I sent my ex/ son's dad clothing - they had it for 4 weeks before they passed it on. He didn't even have appropriate footwear to go outside in the yard and was managing with a few things other prisoners gave him.

But far worse, it is 8 weeks so far that my son has had no contact with his father. They have the most ridiculous, convoluted, snail mail process for assessing this and making a decision. My local Social Services have already told me they will approve all contact as they were happy for me to supervise in the community for 15 months. The worst of it is we were very slowly getting somewhere when the prison sent forms to the wrong office of our local Social Services and Social Services lost them. So now not only has all of our confidentiality been breached but we are back at the beginning. The prison don't keep copies of the form I submitted so I have been waiting a week just for another form to start things off again. I cannot begin to explain this in anyway that makes sense to a devasted little boy who is Autistic - it is totally madness and causing my son such pain. Needless to say complaints are in progress.

Sorry for jumping in with a rant!

Morning Ellen44

I just wanted to add in to Smiles comments so I am not sure if you are aware but they have set up email a prisoner if you google it it will take you on the the website x I have used this for the last 7 months and it is totally secure and private so you dont have to worry x

You have to pay but you create an account and add credit, all you need is his prison number and date of birth it let's you pick the prison he is in, you type and then if you click for a reply again a small charge, the prison prints it with a reply sheet that the men can then write on and its emailed back to your account , they usually get it within 2 days but the reply's take a bit longer ( same common factor in prison)

Hope this helps x take care x

It's infuriatingly slow. My husband got moved last week, half way through his sentence. The new place looks better in terms of education etc. but he might not have long enough left to do anything worthwhile by the time it is sorted.

It took over the recommended time for my daughter to be approved for face to face contact at the old prison but now they're saying it has to be approved again. Really hoping it won't take as long - feel like you go one step forward then something crops up and it's five steps back :(

Evening Smile,

No news as yet but we believe he will be moved by Friday fingers x

I am doing ok thank you for asking x

How is your son? Has he been able to start his job as yet? X

And how are you?x

Glad to hear your son has his uniform hopefully he can be set loose on that lawnmower soon :-)

Hopefully he will get moved this week and as you say it's another step further and hopefully it will be ok where he goes to x

We carry on as always but to be honest now we know his sentance it really has lifted a weight of my mind x a strange thing to say i know but now it's about keeping us strong and living a new normal

I will still be on here for support as this forum has given me so much and found bonds with people I have never met but yet have got to know and I feel we have so much in common Smile so thank you for been there for me xx

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Thank you Smile as always and a hug was needed xx

Daffodil I hope you are doing ok?x

I'm feeling this frustration today. Many things for us were very slow - First call, application to send a parcel, access to request a visit.

I spoke to my person this weekend who is trying to establish how / if he can continue to study his degree next year (he's had to withdraw from finishing this year's course). He's getting sometimes one word responses from the education contact - It doesn't seem humane or respectful. He says he's been told my others it's because of the wing he's on - I've suggested he takes this with a pinch of salt, as he nor anyone else could really know, because unless a inmate has been in the exact same prison but on a different wing and in the exact same position, they'd never really be able to tell if they were treated differently.

It's so horrible feeling so helpless.

I know it's early days and perhaps unrealistic expectations.

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Totally agree, it really can't be good for their mental health. I can see how people can feel the system is against them and give up trying to take control of their own destiny or believe it's possible to change.

I do think if my partner is able to study, he'd be very lucky and it'd be somewhat of a luxury but before all of this I did have more faith in the judicial system, that they did offer chances to rehabilitate and learns skills that would help them in the future - Seems there is a lot of political spin. My person seem to be being so strong, at every hurdle he seems to try to be positive but I wonder how long it will last.

I feel so frustrated and angry but I try not to let it show to him. Similar to you, I'm the only person my person has for any kind of emotional support and I'm having to do it in somewhat secrecy as only a couple of people know about the situation. It sometimes feel like quite a heavy weight - Even just not having anywhere but here to rant.

It's great news he has a job, I'm so sorry to hear its taken so long for him to start. I really hope he starts soon I imagine it'll do him the world of good.

I am still waiting on my son to be moved from remand and was praying it would be better for him as he can get his head down and do as much studying he can to keep him occupied and I know he is hoping for the same xx

Evening Smile

Hope your ok x

I'm not going to say anything to him as his Hope's are on keeping busy x

Does your son get more time out of his cell?

At the moment my son has half hour and then 2 hrs with work in the afternoon

xx

We do indeed Smile that is certainly something I am getting better at each day x

He is so frustrated with remand and like waiting for his sentancing he just needs to get moved xx

I'm sorry to hear he's not been moved out of remand Upset Mum, hopefully it won't be long now. The constant waiting for the next step is so hard.

I do also try and be up beat, it's very hard though, especially as I don't really have anyone to offload my frustrations to and when I'm harbouring some anger and confusion towards him for this whole situation and what he's done. I keep saying it - It's just such a complex situation.

My person gets under an hour out unless it's a domestics day :-( It's been such an eye opener and definitely not how the Sun portray the chushy life of prison.

Evening SAL

I just worry like everyone else in this situation I know its prison but how are they meant to be able to serve there time on improving on themselves

I just hope he keeps strong once he is moved xx

I hope you are keeping ok x

Smile

I remember how much happiness your sons letter brought you xx

Let's hope they can get the education back on a regular regime for them xx

Smile xx

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Yay! So pleased for you both!

That's great!

Oh Smile

So glad for your son and of course for you x

Just to have a purpose each day will give him some long awaited goodness for his well being

This has made my day so thank you for sharing

Pleas pass on my happiness to him xx

Hi Smile

I will indeed x

It's going to be great for your son just been outside in the fresh air

Looking forward to hearing how he gets on and hopefully the lawnmower wont take him for a run! :-) x

Bless him be nice if he can eat them once they have grown! X

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