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A week today

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 9:00pmReport post

So a week ago today I was in court waiting for my son to be sentenced, it was as bad as the day the knock came but we knew what we had to deal with

Today has reached a whole new level the media have had their moment

How can it be allowed how can they twist it so much

They havent said what the prosecution said in court and the judge ordered it not to be recorded as they had no evidence but yet the police and media can twist it

I know what my son has done I know the truth but the most important part is I know my son!

How the hell do they expect our offenders to be able to rebuild a life with this over them

I cant imagine the pain it causes for the victims I cant forget them

But give us a goddam break we have done nothing wrong but yet we are punished

Just gutted and so sad xxx

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 9:22pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri June 16, 2023 11:16pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 9:27pmReport post

lost123

Thank you x

He has owned what he has done and is now serving his sentance and so are we x

I want to contact the police and media as it is just unfair! Yes I totally understand that he has to be punished for what he did but they should at least be held accountable for making sure what they report should be the genuine facts not a distorted total pack of bullshit!

I diddnt know you can request for it to be removed xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 9:32pmReport post

Polly Pocket

Thank you so much for your kind words xx

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 9:37pmReport post

Thinking of you and sending a hug x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 9:52pmReport post

That one umbrella, that label, that is not who our sons, husbands, partners are

They are men who get lost in the cycle off loneliness who have no self belief, they see themselves as nothing, no self worth these are not excuses by no means this is the truth, they cant talk about it because how can they

We take on the whole why did I not see it, what did I do to make them do this

This journey has been hell I cant lie , I wish it never happened but it has , I cant change it, i cant takeaway the pain but I can look at people in the eye because I am not a bad person , i have done nothing wrong, this does not define my son and that is why I will be there every step of the way and I will let him see that one day the sun will be in his face and the wind in his hair and he will have his freedom form those four walls and of course he will get to rebuild because a mother love is unconditional xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 10:00pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed May 11, 2022 6:32pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Thu May 5, 2022 10:36pmReport post

Smile

Thank.you my dear friend x your words of kindness always mean so much xx

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri May 6, 2022 5:55amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Nemesis

Member since
July 2021

125 posts

Posted Fri May 6, 2022 7:22amReport post

At the court hearing the judge was explicit that no media including police. Made a massive deal about it as there were chuldrrn

i had previously been given reassurance by police that the address had been changed



a month later and on the childrens birthday weekend it was published. Everywhere.... including address...

I have made a complaint but as my ex had a career that made this in the public interest it has been shared and many many comments. Reference to the children and me

It has been horrendous so I send you many hugs. I don't think the judge should have given reassurance but the police should have forewarned me. I only found out when I started to receive many messages .....

take care, it isn't easy

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Fri May 6, 2022 7:53amReport post

I'm sorry it's reached the media. It hit less than 3 hours after sentencing for my partner.

Most news is either "juicy" to capture readers attention or in the public interest so I don't necessarily think this crime is treated differently to other. Or its both juicey and in the public interest. I sometimes question how much it is in the public interest, but if I can accept it is, what I can't accept is the sensationalist way they report on these crimes and more so when they report on things that are not related to the offence - In fact, thinking about it, I don't even know why the prosecutions will have been allowed to even mention some parts of it. They brought up some of his less savoury sexual fantasies and preferences which made the article even more sorid. Some papers seem to report more balanced stories, they have segments from the defence and don't go into details for example quoting specific statements - The news papers in my partners case quoted him on some of the things he said and there was nothing from the defense.

I struggle to see how he'll ever be able to build any life after this and part of that is because the news articles.

I've heard of articles or pictures being removed once convictions are spent. Does anyone know if this is after the sentencing term becomes spent or the SOR /SHPO?

Has anyone had any joy in them removing elements of stories that are not related to the crime?

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Fri May 6, 2022 8:38amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed May 11, 2022 6:32pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Fri May 6, 2022 2:37pmReport post

Thank you all so much xx

It's bad enough knowing all the details but to then see the way it has been twisted and distorted and so many lies it's just unfair

But I guess it's old news now I dont have social media and those that have found out have been extremely supportive

But there are the keyboard warriors who do not have a clue and want his blood

Today has been a better day small steps each day xx

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Wed May 11, 2022 1:49pmReport post

Upset, I've had a little break from here so I'm just catching up today. I'm so so sorry that you've gone through this - as if you haven't dealt with enough already. As always, I wish we could all meet and hug you, but you know that the virtual hugs are there - especially from us mums who understand your pain so deeply. I hope you and your son are doing OK xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Wed May 11, 2022 2:52pmReport post

Lola53

Thank you so much for your kind words x

I hope you are doing ok? x how are things with you?

Were a lot better than where we have been and we now know what we have to deal with it was a huge weight of my shoulders even though the outcome was really hard but my son is ok and just waiting to be moved from remand hopefully this week x so long as he is ok and my other two adult children then I can get through anything x

The media were brutal but I am not wasting any more of my energy on that now it's old news as many have said xx

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Wed May 11, 2022 3:28pmReport post

Hiya hun.



Just checking in to see how you are coping ?



Xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Wed May 11, 2022 4:19pmReport post

Hi Chelsea1

Im doing ok thank you for asking x



Hope all is ok with you both xx

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Wed May 11, 2022 4:46pmReport post

I'm doing well, thank you - we've just passed the anniversary of the knock so I had a bit of a wobble on the run up, but actually it came and went without any stress. It coincided with my birthday (that was a birthday to remember!!!!) and this year we all went away as a family and had a really great time. We're still waiting for charges so I wonder if this is the calm before the storm, but I'll take it for now!

I'm glad you're OK - you're one tough, amazing lady. Hopefully you're through the worst now and start rebuilding now that you know what you're dealing with.

Lots of love xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Wed May 11, 2022 4:53pmReport post

Hi Lola53

Ahh belated Birthday wishes and glad you all managed to get away for a few days x

Its nearly our 2 year anniversary from the knock but we have some closure now we have the sentancing done with just the countdown to my son coming home it will be some time but he will be home so that is so important as I really diddnt think he would still be here :-( x

I hope the storm stays calm for you, you have got this xx