Family and Friends Forum

Good morning,

Firstly I want to say a massive thank you and well done to everyone who is positing or even reading this forum. I have only been on this journey 3 weeks now but reading this forum is comforting me and supporting me about the journey ahead.



I am the same as many of you my partner had the knock and has been bailed under investigation. As I previously posted we have put a relationship on hold while he focuses on getting help and support and me for counselling however that don't make my feelings for him go away!
I have my family supporting my emotions however will not support me to support my partner. They told me I had to choose him or them and I physically can't do that at present. I DO NOT condone what he has done, it's a terrible thing but I can't turn my back on him after being with him for 7years. I know he is not a horrible man! I do question why he has done what he has done but he has said in time he will hopefully be able to explain once he has gotten help and support as really he doesn't know himself. He not interested in children and it didn't do anything for him.


many people around me have said if I have contact with him via messages or face to face the police will make me a suspect and think why am I still in contact with him when he has done so wrong.
Is this true???

He has been updating me weekly about his progress with therapy and currently I am so scared to reply to him incase the police do think I'm involved in any way(WHICH I AM NOT)!!!! I work in education so this is a big big no no for what he has done. Do I contact the police myself and ask their advice in what I should do about contact?
we have never lived together we are not married and we do not have children. So I can't see it being a problem but again I don't know how the police work, but I'm just so scared.
i also need to send him some money as we had a few long weekends always booked and trips so I'm trying to get a refund for these but worry if I send him money the police again will think I'm involved in some way.

I don't want him to think I'm ignoring him by not replying but I just too scared!

CAN ANYONE HELP ME AND ADVICE ME!!!
is it just the people around me trying to make me worry so I stop contact?? Or is it generally the case they will think I'm involved??
Thank you all!
Heart!

Thank you all, so precious to this post being approved to post, I rang the helpline of stop it now and they said they can't see it being any problems but check with the DC about bail conditions. I rang the DC who is I charge of my partners case and she said we was fine to contact each other and the only bail conditions he has against him is, he's not allowed to meet anyone under 18 and for him to update them of any change of address. That is it! I feel my family are very angry about all this which is understandable so am I and I am such a worrier and have bad anxiety this is their way of me not having communication with him.
thank you all again so much! I also checked with the DC if I was able to send money and would I be investigated if I did so and they said they are not investigating his finances and if they were to do so in future then there be a good enough reason why I did send him money.



so sorry for posting silly things like this but I'm just so confused and don't know who to believe or listen to anymore! Everyone is saying so many different things to me about what I should do and shouldn't do.

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