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Heroine failing

Member since
May 2022

34 posts

Posted Sat May 7, 2022 12:32pmReport post

I've written this post numerous times in my head.

One moment I'm acting normal and the next a question pops in my head which won't go away until its answered. Then I know I'm begging for a fight.

I love him but I can't seem to see how I'll ever accept it

Will it always eat away at me ?

My adult son wants us to stay together but he's not in my head. My adult daughter is amazing.

Am I staying because I love him, or is it to please my son, or is it the fear of being alone.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Sat May 7, 2022 12:43pmReport post

Heroine failing

Well done for posting as we all know it is a difficult thing to do,

The way you are feeling is normal, you are only just on this journey and your emotions will be all over the place

Try to take a day at a time and not rush in to any decisions but mort importantly look after yourself first x

Only you can do what is best for you there is no right or wrong but you are extremely raw at the moment so try not to put to much pressure on yourself

Keep posting as we all need support and this is the place where no one will judge only offer advise and support xx

Heroine failing

Member since
May 2022

34 posts

Posted Sat May 7, 2022 12:48pmReport post

Upset mum. Thank you so much for replying. I have never felt so alone in my whole life.

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1000 posts

Posted Sat May 7, 2022 12:49pmReport post

You don't have to make any decisions right now and it's ok not to have all the answers. Take each day as it comes, reach out on here and give the helpline a call when you feel able to. We're nearly two years in and I still have times that it's all I can think about but that indescribable despair isn't there now. There is no wrong way to feel and the way your son is feeling is right for him right now. The feelings of a partner are different from that of a child or a parent because we have the added intimacy side of things so these offences feel like such a betrayal. Eat and sleep when you can. Sending love xx

Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

Posted Sat May 7, 2022 12:50pmReport post

The first few weeks are so hard. There's the shock, the anger and doubting everything in your marriage. You might not even have all the facts yet. I started to question everything in my marriage. Going through so many memories and picking everything apart in my mind.

The women here always say don't make any rash decisions in the early days and weeks. It feels chaotic and I definitely panicked. We are all at different stages of this process and we all have different scenarios and priorities so there's no right answer for everyone. I would say this is quite a traumatic experience and time is needed to let the dust settle after your life explodes.

Apparently this is a long journey so there's time to adjust to this crazy situation. Some women have separated and some women say their marriage and family is now stronger than ever. Only you know what is right for you but just take some time for yourself to figure out your feelings underneath the shock, anger and confusion xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Sat May 7, 2022 12:55pmReport post

Heroine failing

Honestly we have all felt so alone but rest assured you are not alone in this, we are here for you so if you want to rant, scream,shout then we are here to listen or send virtual hugs

Hugs xx

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Sat May 7, 2022 9:03pmReport post

Heroine Falling,

It does get easier. Currently it feels like a bomb has gone off but as days pass it doesn't consume your thoughts as much and some days you don't think about things for so long that when you do it reminds you that time heals. I think time and circumstance majorly contributes towards the decision to stay but the decision doesn't have to be made quickly. We obviously want to support our loved ones, even if we don't want to continue a relationship with them but realistically we need to do what is best for us. Give yourself some time to get your head around things and work out what it is that you want and whether it's something you're willing to work through. Sending lots of love xx