Feeling heavy and frightened.
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Polly Pocket,
This is a normal feeling from what I have read on here. I am feeling exactly the same today, anxious, emotional, scared, feel like something heavy is on me weighing me down!
I can advice you about moving house etc as me and my partner don't live together and we are only in the first month of all of this.
As for the media, I am worried sick about it, would they bring me into it, my family etc.... as likes for my job I'm worried they going to make me choose.
you are not alone! Together hopefully we all can get out the other end of this nightmare!
Sending big hugs!
Heart
This is a normal feeling from what I have read on here. I am feeling exactly the same today, anxious, emotional, scared, feel like something heavy is on me weighing me down!
I can advice you about moving house etc as me and my partner don't live together and we are only in the first month of all of this.
As for the media, I am worried sick about it, would they bring me into it, my family etc.... as likes for my job I'm worried they going to make me choose.
you are not alone! Together hopefully we all can get out the other end of this nightmare!
Sending big hugs!
Heart
Hi Polly,
I am so sorry to hear you are struggling today, this is a horrible existence and at your stage like you I couldn't see the wood for the trees. I totally get the sheer frustration, fears and anxieties that you are feeling now, I experienced all of this 15 months ago now. Tbh I underestimated what we would go through but being on the other side of sentencing I can assure you it does get easier, I will be honest and say our lives are different now, I will always be wary of what people are thinking but I am slowly learning how to deal with that. Because of my husbands profession he became so high profile and his photograph and job history were plastered all over the local and regional press both online and paper versions. We were distraught at the time (and still are) but we are overcoming that trauma. Only for my amazing family we eventually stabilised and today we are still in our home that we love and have worked hard for. We are fortunate to not have to face people when we walk out of the house but I still feel wary walking beyond our property. Given the publicity we had we are fortunate not to have suffered too badly but now we have the support and love of most family and friends we can continue to live a more peaceful existence. I have just recently returned to work despite all but life is easier all round, it's not perfect but is getting better. The forum has helped massively. My poor sister has just started this journey too involving allegations of a serious offence by her son, I feel we are reliving the trauma but at the same time are helping her and her family to avoid making mistakes we made in the early days. She has seen the impact this had on my husband and I and I am anxious to protect her from suffering like we did. At the same time she has also learnt from our experience and is now equipped with knowledge that we didn't have. Please go to see your Gp and ask for help and maybe a referral for counselling (CBT), it has helped me massively and at the same time ring the foundation here for further help and support. We are always here to help you Polly. Please take care and keep in touch with the forum. Lots of love xx
I am so sorry to hear you are struggling today, this is a horrible existence and at your stage like you I couldn't see the wood for the trees. I totally get the sheer frustration, fears and anxieties that you are feeling now, I experienced all of this 15 months ago now. Tbh I underestimated what we would go through but being on the other side of sentencing I can assure you it does get easier, I will be honest and say our lives are different now, I will always be wary of what people are thinking but I am slowly learning how to deal with that. Because of my husbands profession he became so high profile and his photograph and job history were plastered all over the local and regional press both online and paper versions. We were distraught at the time (and still are) but we are overcoming that trauma. Only for my amazing family we eventually stabilised and today we are still in our home that we love and have worked hard for. We are fortunate to not have to face people when we walk out of the house but I still feel wary walking beyond our property. Given the publicity we had we are fortunate not to have suffered too badly but now we have the support and love of most family and friends we can continue to live a more peaceful existence. I have just recently returned to work despite all but life is easier all round, it's not perfect but is getting better. The forum has helped massively. My poor sister has just started this journey too involving allegations of a serious offence by her son, I feel we are reliving the trauma but at the same time are helping her and her family to avoid making mistakes we made in the early days. She has seen the impact this had on my husband and I and I am anxious to protect her from suffering like we did. At the same time she has also learnt from our experience and is now equipped with knowledge that we didn't have. Please go to see your Gp and ask for help and maybe a referral for counselling (CBT), it has helped me massively and at the same time ring the foundation here for further help and support. We are always here to help you Polly. Please take care and keep in touch with the forum. Lots of love xx
Hi,
It's very early days for you, you really don't have to make any decisions right now. We're just over a year past sentencing and I still live in my house, he lives with his parents in the house he grew up in. He worked with his mom and was arrested at work, his mom has had nothing but support at work. His case was in the media along with the road name of his parents house, he has had one comment from someone we know and a few dirty looks but his parents and myself haven't experienced any comments from anyone. Sending love to you xx
It's very early days for you, you really don't have to make any decisions right now. We're just over a year past sentencing and I still live in my house, he lives with his parents in the house he grew up in. He worked with his mom and was arrested at work, his mom has had nothing but support at work. His case was in the media along with the road name of his parents house, he has had one comment from someone we know and a few dirty looks but his parents and myself haven't experienced any comments from anyone. Sending love to you xx
Polly, we are all worried sick about the media, publicity and local reaction.
Some on here have had problems with neighbours and local people and a few with vigilantes, it seems to me that it's a bit of a lottery as to whether or not there is media coverage (seems to depend on whether there is a reporter in the court). If you look back through posts on here, in most cases the publicity has blown over and then its largely forgotten. Basically you won't know what's going to happen publicity wise until it happens.
Like you I do not want to leave my current home, I am very attached to it, and I don't know where I'd move to. I have many friends here and I know and love the area. If I was forced to leave here, whether because of the public fallout or for financial reasons, I think that will end the relationship with my partner. My preference is to stay here, either with him, or on my own. I think, financially, I could just about manage to stay here on my own. Others may not have that option.
Some on here have had problems with neighbours and local people and a few with vigilantes, it seems to me that it's a bit of a lottery as to whether or not there is media coverage (seems to depend on whether there is a reporter in the court). If you look back through posts on here, in most cases the publicity has blown over and then its largely forgotten. Basically you won't know what's going to happen publicity wise until it happens.
Like you I do not want to leave my current home, I am very attached to it, and I don't know where I'd move to. I have many friends here and I know and love the area. If I was forced to leave here, whether because of the public fallout or for financial reasons, I think that will end the relationship with my partner. My preference is to stay here, either with him, or on my own. I think, financially, I could just about manage to stay here on my own. Others may not have that option.
PollyPocket,
I still have days like this and I'm not 100% convinced my partner's case will make it to a jury trial from the (lack of) evidence but our minds constantly tell us to expect the worst. So far my partner hasn't been reported on at magistrates or crown but all I can do is hope that it continues. I feel like I live in limbo, we want to get married, have kids, I want to pursue my dreams of becoming a barrister - which will probably be impossible if I marry him after a conviction (if the worst case happens). Everyday we all have worry in the pits of our stomach and the only thing that helps me is to think that there are much, much worse cases out there we don't even know about and their families have been through it and so can we. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day I allow myself to wallow in it until I'm fed up of feeling sorry for myself then I give myself a mental kick up the bum and remind myself I am capable and determined and I can get through anything! I really hope this wouldn't affect your career, it seems ridiculous that it would impact anyone's ability to teach because a relative or partner commits an online offence, it's outrageous. Sending my love and thinking of you xx
I still have days like this and I'm not 100% convinced my partner's case will make it to a jury trial from the (lack of) evidence but our minds constantly tell us to expect the worst. So far my partner hasn't been reported on at magistrates or crown but all I can do is hope that it continues. I feel like I live in limbo, we want to get married, have kids, I want to pursue my dreams of becoming a barrister - which will probably be impossible if I marry him after a conviction (if the worst case happens). Everyday we all have worry in the pits of our stomach and the only thing that helps me is to think that there are much, much worse cases out there we don't even know about and their families have been through it and so can we. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day I allow myself to wallow in it until I'm fed up of feeling sorry for myself then I give myself a mental kick up the bum and remind myself I am capable and determined and I can get through anything! I really hope this wouldn't affect your career, it seems ridiculous that it would impact anyone's ability to teach because a relative or partner commits an online offence, it's outrageous. Sending my love and thinking of you xx
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Hi again Polly.
My son told me so many of these offenders have no loved ones supporting them / that makes me SO sad....... to be locked up with no one even at the end of a phone :(
My son told me so many of these offenders have no loved ones supporting them / that makes me SO sad....... to be locked up with no one even at the end of a phone :(
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My son asked me to look for something in the argos catalogue for his pal as he had no one on the outside. Again so sad as apparently he regularly helps others on the wing.
These men have done bad things - they are in prison but surely every human deserves compassion. It must feel terrible to be unloved and alone. As long as I live and breathe my son will never feel like that....
These men have done bad things - they are in prison but surely every human deserves compassion. It must feel terrible to be unloved and alone. As long as I live and breathe my son will never feel like that....
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