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So my partner has his own story of sexual abuse, but it was all done online with a girl who was 3 years old than him, she was 17 herself and suggested he do things on camera and started touching his leg, to which he politely declined as he felt uncomfortable... He essentially was groomed by her being the younger party
I somehow feel that if he told people this it would be seen as less of a sexual abuse thing because 'thats what boys do at that age'...
Is there any information out there you can recommend on this type of online abuse ? I'd like to read more up on it.
I have been experienced to this myself as well but this was by men in their middle age who were sent videos and such of myself as they requested, I was around 14-16 at the time. But I just struggle myself to see this as abuse... I know it is but I just really struggle to conceptualise it.
I somehow feel that if he told people this it would be seen as less of a sexual abuse thing because 'thats what boys do at that age'...
Is there any information out there you can recommend on this type of online abuse ? I'd like to read more up on it.
I have been experienced to this myself as well but this was by men in their middle age who were sent videos and such of myself as they requested, I was around 14-16 at the time. But I just struggle myself to see this as abuse... I know it is but I just really struggle to conceptualise it.
I hope you and your partner are both okay and got support around you both.
I would like to read more on this as well. I feel I'm in a similar situation as to what your in. I am also a saviour and I don't see it as abuse to myself but when my partner has told me his cases I see that as being abuse. I would really like to read more to understand and have a better knowledge.
I am a safeguarding lead at my place of work and even that doesn't go as deep as what this is.
I would like to read more on this as well. I feel I'm in a similar situation as to what your in. I am also a saviour and I don't see it as abuse to myself but when my partner has told me his cases I see that as being abuse. I would really like to read more to understand and have a better knowledge.
I am a safeguarding lead at my place of work and even that doesn't go as deep as what this is.
Unfortunately it is a stigma when it comes to men/boys being groomed and also being sexually assaulted. It's society's views and toxic masculinity rolled up into a harmful ball. Legally men cannot be r***d by women because the act requires penetration which is ridiculous because it can happen and statistics show 1 in 20 men have suffered SA/****. Until society and the laws change and see men as being able to be victims of physical acts I think we're always going to have the issue with the response to victims like "get in there lad" etc. You see it in cases of teachers, if it's a youngish woman and a school boy the comments are jokey but if it's a man and a school girl then it's sinister. Overall, we need to change the narrative because regardless of gender it's unacceptable.
I hope you and your partner are both okay and got support around you both.
Hey heart,
You're relatively new here aren't you? Welcome under the circumstances...
It's very odd isn't it, to see and experience something myself but when someone else does it, it's framed as a bad thing. Potentially only because they got caught?
Hopefully we can out our heads together and come up with some sites and information...
Hey heart,
You're relatively new here aren't you? Welcome under the circumstances...
It's very odd isn't it, to see and experience something myself but when someone else does it, it's framed as a bad thing. Potentially only because they got caught?
Hopefully we can out our heads together and come up with some sites and information...
Heya Baffled,
Toxic masculinity is engrained in our society and it's one it's most nastiest scars... The whole r**e laws are ancient and outdated...
I think we also need more clarification on online sexual abuse with both boys and girls sited, generalising what's okay and what's not...
Toxic masculinity is engrained in our society and it's one it's most nastiest scars... The whole r**e laws are ancient and outdated...
I think we also need more clarification on online sexual abuse with both boys and girls sited, generalising what's okay and what's not...
I totally agree Blackhound! Most things you hear is that it's not acceptable to be speaking to minors you don't know online and I agree but lately I found myself wondering why it only seems to apply to men.... On one of my social media platforms there is a young man who is 15 and seemingly neurodivergent, he often comments how beautiful I am on my posts (my profile is public) and lots of other stuff, he messages me saying he loves my page and I'm beautiful. I only reply with things like "thank you" and "you too" when he says hope ur ok and don't engage in conversation more than this. Now I know that I am not doing anything wrong and my intentions are to be kind to this boy BUT if society viewed this kind of thing in a different way based on gender I would probably have to be tough and ignore him even though I am only trying to not be cold towards him.
Have you approached his parents to let them know he's doing this kinda thing?
If he's doing it to one person he maybe doing it to another...
You're definitely right, if this was a female child and a man responding thank you, trying to stop the conversation would it be viewed as innocently ?
If he's doing it to one person he maybe doing it to another...
You're definitely right, if this was a female child and a man responding thank you, trying to stop the conversation would it be viewed as innocently ?
He's in America so it makes it more difficult and I've never seen anything which pinpoints his parents. I do keep an eye to see if anyone is commenting on his stuff who shouldn't be but yeah it made me realise the difference between genders with things like this.
That's very true Lee, I think being a part of this journey makes you see everything from the other side so it's best to literally never reply at all to people under 18 because you just never know!
Lee do you know of any sites or organisations where we can get a little more info on online sexual abuse ...
Id like to dig a little deeper into it...
Id like to dig a little deeper into it...
Yeah I would like to understand this more too because laws state that communicating with minors is only a crime when it comes to sexual communication or arranging to meet which is obvious so if there is more to it than that I would be interested to know. I plan to use one of my platforms to educate around these laws for awareness for both teens and adults so would be grateful to learn more. I've already done some stuff around consent which did well so would like to move on to internet stuff.
Yeah I suppose you have to look at it from that side. I just went to look at the messages and there wasn't much, nothing instigated by me and my replies were minimal and delayed but I blocked him just to prevent anything else because it did make me feel uncomfortable but I felt bad blocking because he was neurodivergent but like you say it's not worth a potential backlash just because I'm a softass! Xx
So for me I suppose I am looking education behind Sexual grooming and communication and the like between an older child and a younger child... Say 15 as the younger and 17 as the older....
Also education on how this can effect someone and their actions later on in life..
Also if it's deemed as sexual abuse, where is that thin line ?
Also education on how this can effect someone and their actions later on in life..
Also if it's deemed as sexual abuse, where is that thin line ?