Family and Friends Forum

Hi

I was 24 weeks pregnant when my husband was arrested. We had a pre birth assessment done and my hubby hasn't had to leave the home but we do have a safety plan in place and baby is on the child in need. Hubby hasn't been sentenced yet (at magistrates this week) but at the moment he isn't allowed unsupervised. Once court is all over SS will be doing an assessment to understand risk and that with any legal restrictions will help us know what happens next. However, if there are no legal restrictions towards our child once the assessment is done we are expecting to start having some unsupervised allowed and eventually all restrictions gone.

We we're allowed to have my hubby on the wards and in delivery for birth - so push for that if it's what you want. The midwives should be able to support you.

For us one of the biggest issues with SS was them not yet knowing all the details while the investigation was ongoing. Now it's just about any legal restrictions. So I would say so long as you can demonstrate you understand what you need to do for safeguarding (look at taking the NSPCC online course it's about £20) and engage with SS then I think it will all be ok.

My brother has a SPHO and on register but he said his probation officer said there is no issue, he has been on the wards with her to have scans

To me this now sounds like he is not being honest as I said would there not be further checks and he said no, he is not a risk so they can have a baby but he is all categorgies.....

Criky no what I meant was he was more like SS would not be involved....as in the whole process and after. I only said that as someone earlier said couldn't be at the birth so to me scans are similar as in same place in hospital. If they can be at the scans then why not be at the birth?

Well his probation ends in Nov, so the way he answered my question was more like it's fine they have no issues with it. He also says they can move to spain no checks just got to go back to the UK once a year to pop into a police station to register address.

That probation is aware of plans and it is fine so I just leave it at that I can't be bothered to get involved, I was more just posting as it is possible so for others posting on here it would give them hope and show that yes people can still do things other people can do easily

Sorry yes that makes sense, I think just the way some people replied to me after made me feel stupid for what I wrote. Like baby scans, on ward whatever I was just saying I know someone with a SHPO I asked him about SS checks and having a baby and he was like it is fine they can have one no issues. The way he said it makes it sound like there is no problem but in reality I know there will be more loops to go through (Which is what makes me think maybe he has actually not spoke to probation about this)

I was just saying if he is honest to me then for the original poster who is in a similar position well there should be less to worry about

All the more reason for him to be honest with me or I would be checking up on things, seriously he called me to tell me the news why would you think that?

If we didn't have a good relationship he would not bother telling me anything, I am on about facts he says there will be no issues he has checked with the services. So why would he be lying to me? It's not about telling me everything in their personal life but if he responded with there will be social services checks then fine - that is not about their personal life it is facts to do with the situation.

All I am saying is for the poster, that the situation is very similar and it is possible, so I am confused as to why you are making this personal when I am just on about facts and the process.

Thank you, yes I find it can be difficult at times as you relate your answers to previous posts I have made, and things do change!! I'm sorry I upset you too. It escalated fast lol I always seem to get in trouble when I post on this board.

I was only trying to help the poster. He actually phoned me to tell me all about his good news and yes I do find things difficult with him but why would he phone me telling me all about his good news when he does have news? He does tell me their life updates, and of course I had to ask the question about loops to go through and will it be difficult? It was just the way you phrased it like why should he tell me anything at all!! When really after what he has done why should I be the one to make all the effort I've told him I perfactly happy to speak to him on the phone now or meet me face to face - but it is him who needs to make steps now. So we are in a better place now actually! All I was posting about was to say he told me it is ok and it somehow got twisted :(

What is IIOC please?

Indecent Images Of Children xx

Hi Dino

I think your brother is being honest with you given what he has been told by police. In our case too we ask the police before planning the baby and they said it should be fine. SS will get involved but just for a formality to do one assessment however it was a completely different story once SS got involved. My husband wasn't allowed in the ward with me after baby was born. He was only allowed during the labour and wasn't allowed to stay in the house for long time.The criteria for assessing risk is completely different for SS and police. I hope everything goes well your brother as SS seems to work differently in different area. Ss we dealt with was awful and it's been 2 years since it is over but It is all still fresh in my mind and I still get very worry about all little things in a fear that what if they get involved again.

Hi Jolene21,

I was just wondering how you were keeping and hope all is well with you and baby. Have you heard from SS?

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