Contact with children by non offending partner
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My partner has a shopo condition saying no contact unless parents are aware and they and SS give consent. I didn't realize how strict this was, I thought as long as I supervised it would be ok. We got a warning that my partner did actually breach his shopo when we had been to see my family with a younger cousin.
The police made my partner disclose to my aunt and uncle and get SS involved...I had tried so hard to keep it secret. Thankfully my aunt and uncle and SS were ok with it. Agreed that my partner is supervised by me or the parents- no training required. Also no one else in the family know.
However, I too have had family with new borns and my partner is not allowed to see them at all. The police are ok for now for us not needing to disclose because I'm not too close to my family with young kids that the risk of them turning up uninvited or bump in the street is very low, otherwise the police would have made us disclose.
It has made things awkward and thus far I don't think people have noticed my partner hasn't come to family events with the young kids.
Essentially I would advise not doing what I did and assume your supervision is an agreeable alternative to the conditions set, the training courses might be useful but your partner must follow the conditions word for word.
The police made my partner disclose to my aunt and uncle and get SS involved...I had tried so hard to keep it secret. Thankfully my aunt and uncle and SS were ok with it. Agreed that my partner is supervised by me or the parents- no training required. Also no one else in the family know.
However, I too have had family with new borns and my partner is not allowed to see them at all. The police are ok for now for us not needing to disclose because I'm not too close to my family with young kids that the risk of them turning up uninvited or bump in the street is very low, otherwise the police would have made us disclose.
It has made things awkward and thus far I don't think people have noticed my partner hasn't come to family events with the young kids.
Essentially I would advise not doing what I did and assume your supervision is an agreeable alternative to the conditions set, the training courses might be useful but your partner must follow the conditions word for word.
Post deleted by user
Post deleted by user
Hi bitterbean
Sorry I didn't read your original post to see that you had said that the condition is supervision from someone who knows as a minimum. I have the same frustration as I feel like I can't relax and minding him, but it does have a benefit to him as well- it is a way to prevent people making accusations. As you said if people find out they might stop contact, but they could be tempted to make up accusations.
As an alibi and witness you can back up your partner. It is up to you if you take up training. I would say tho that by doing training your partner is damn if he does, damned if he doesn't. Basically yes some will see it as a tick boxing or a sign of guilt, but no sign of rehabilitation could be seen as a lack of remorse or not taking it seriously.
Perhaps he is innocent, but he must have done something to peak the police's interest to arrest him- does he have a history of finding porn away from the 'conventional sites'? Maybe his online activity was problematic (e.g. illegal downloads, torrents). The courses cover how to avoid having problematic uses of the internet to avoid exposure to iiocs.
Sorry I didn't read your original post to see that you had said that the condition is supervision from someone who knows as a minimum. I have the same frustration as I feel like I can't relax and minding him, but it does have a benefit to him as well- it is a way to prevent people making accusations. As you said if people find out they might stop contact, but they could be tempted to make up accusations.
As an alibi and witness you can back up your partner. It is up to you if you take up training. I would say tho that by doing training your partner is damn if he does, damned if he doesn't. Basically yes some will see it as a tick boxing or a sign of guilt, but no sign of rehabilitation could be seen as a lack of remorse or not taking it seriously.
Perhaps he is innocent, but he must have done something to peak the police's interest to arrest him- does he have a history of finding porn away from the 'conventional sites'? Maybe his online activity was problematic (e.g. illegal downloads, torrents). The courses cover how to avoid having problematic uses of the internet to avoid exposure to iiocs.
Post deleted by user
It depends on the SHPO
The person I know can go to events as long as supervised, but does not need to notify the parents of the kids. Supervision can be done by his wife but they don't need to disclose to the wider family
The person I know can go to events as long as supervised, but does not need to notify the parents of the kids. Supervision can be done by his wife but they don't need to disclose to the wider family