Family and Friends Forum

purplepen22

Member since
August 2021

20 posts

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 2:08amReport post

I know a lot of the people on this forum are dealing with more than I am and I feel like I'm being self-pitying, but I've just had a rough day today. I woke up knowing my anxiety and emotions were going to take me on a ride, and they did. I struggled to remember what I love about my fiancé, and what I've learned about porn addiction and how dealing with stress by turning to porn can lead someone down a rabbit hole to iioc. Instead I wondered whether I'd ever fully move on from what happened, and whether my love for my fiancé is fading from this awful experience. I felt angry and hopeless. We've had our share of ups and downs prior to this, but this is the first time I've ever ever had doubts about the relationship, and my anxiety is latching onto those doubts and amplifying them and going over them again and again. I'm tired of the anxious overthinking. And the emotional roller coaster. I want my best friend back. I miss my blissful ignorance.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 5:05amReport post

Bless you purple / I think this journey definitely pushes any relationship and your emotions are felt by us all especially raw at the beginning. I'm sad you've had a rough start and hope later the sun will appear in your day.

memories are SO important to keep your feelings on track. Yes deceit has happened but it doesn't maketh the man, as we've discussed so many times on this forum / it's a fragment of the person. Don't forget those good and happy times.

Edited Mon May 16, 2022 5:09am

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 6:53amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2402 posts

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 2:10pmReport post

purplepen22

What you are going through and how you are feeling is totally normal so dont be to hard on yourself xx

Just wanted to send you hugs xx

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Mon May 16, 2022 2:38pmReport post

I second what Upset Mum said.

I remember in the early days thinking - How is anyone functioning and thinking there was something wrong with me because I wasn't. It really is a roller coaster. It will get easier. It'll likely get harder, but there will be more peaceful times in between too.

purplepen22

Member since
August 2021

20 posts

Posted Tue May 17, 2022 10:09pmReport post

Thank you everyone for the support; it means a lot and also is so comforting to be reminded that I'm not alone in my thoughts and feelings.