Support to you all…
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I have scanned through all the latest posts...I really want to add to all threads, as everyone's stories touch me, but I physically and emotionally can't! So, I'd like to just say my heart goes out to you all. I wish each and every one of you a peaceful and happy future and the strength to get through this horrid journey.
You WILL get through it, we all will.
I do believe that going through this trauma really does give us wisdom. I've read Dr Gabour Mate's books, and watched his film. He is inspirational and has helped me understand that addiction is often due to past trauma. I look at all addicts and homeless people in a more compassionate way. "What happened to you?" We, and our families too are now suffering from this trauma and it is important that we work through it.
Keep strong and sending love to you all.
Xxxx
You WILL get through it, we all will.
I do believe that going through this trauma really does give us wisdom. I've read Dr Gabour Mate's books, and watched his film. He is inspirational and has helped me understand that addiction is often due to past trauma. I look at all addicts and homeless people in a more compassionate way. "What happened to you?" We, and our families too are now suffering from this trauma and it is important that we work through it.
Keep strong and sending love to you all.
Xxxx
Thank you Tabs
Needed to see this today. Sentencing was Friday and its already on the 2nd page of the local newspaper. Im in bits, just want to hide away.
Hope your doing ok x
Needed to see this today. Sentencing was Friday and its already on the 2nd page of the local newspaper. Im in bits, just want to hide away.
Hope your doing ok x
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Sad sister
I couldn't just read and not leave you a reply. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. I know this time is so hard. I hope the press Wernt too cruel. I experienced the same thing when my partner was sentenced in October. The story was horrendous and it was all over social media. I just want you to know that things do get better,it may be hard to believe right now. Eventually the bad days become less and less. Im sending you a virtual hug x x
I couldn't just read and not leave you a reply. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. I know this time is so hard. I hope the press Wernt too cruel. I experienced the same thing when my partner was sentenced in October. The story was horrendous and it was all over social media. I just want you to know that things do get better,it may be hard to believe right now. Eventually the bad days become less and less. Im sending you a virtual hug x x
Amilia121
Thank you so much for the kind words. I haven't read the article myself, family read snippets out to me. They have definitely exaggerated it and made it sound worse than it is (I know that sounds a ridiculous thing to say but you know what I mean). I can't stop crying thinking about who might read it. I keep thinking so and so won't they don't live local. So and so will definitely read it so they will know who he is etc... im seriously driving myself mad... thank god im not working today.
I jump out of my skin every time my phone goes encase its a message asking me questions. Going to try and distract myself with housework .
Did you get back much backlash? From family/friends?
I do wonder how many people actually read the local news either the hardcopy or online.. I don't unless there is an opening of a new shop or if there has been an accident nearby and want to know how the person is.
It's very surreal.
Thanks again x
Thank you so much for the kind words. I haven't read the article myself, family read snippets out to me. They have definitely exaggerated it and made it sound worse than it is (I know that sounds a ridiculous thing to say but you know what I mean). I can't stop crying thinking about who might read it. I keep thinking so and so won't they don't live local. So and so will definitely read it so they will know who he is etc... im seriously driving myself mad... thank god im not working today.
I jump out of my skin every time my phone goes encase its a message asking me questions. Going to try and distract myself with housework .
Did you get back much backlash? From family/friends?
I do wonder how many people actually read the local news either the hardcopy or online.. I don't unless there is an opening of a new shop or if there has been an accident nearby and want to know how the person is.
It's very surreal.
Thanks again x
Sadsister22
I too could not pass without commenting on your post
Sorry it made it to the media :-( and I hope the outcome of the sentancing wasnt awful x
My sons story hit the media two weeks ago and it was exaggerated beyond belief but we have not faced any backlash and to be honest it is old news now , keep strong you have got this and try not to waste anymore of your energy worring who knows etc easier said than done but honestly you hold your head up and get through each day xx
I too could not pass without commenting on your post
Sorry it made it to the media :-( and I hope the outcome of the sentancing wasnt awful x
My sons story hit the media two weeks ago and it was exaggerated beyond belief but we have not faced any backlash and to be honest it is old news now , keep strong you have got this and try not to waste anymore of your energy worring who knows etc easier said than done but honestly you hold your head up and get through each day xx
Sad sister, I am sorry that you are having to go through this. When my husband was sentenced, I didn't look at any media. I had already come off social media on his arrest. I also asked people not to tell me, for me ignorance was the best approach. I had nothing but sympathy from friends, and he too was sympathetically talked about by friends and my family. No backlash from strangers. This period will soon be a memory, and you will look back with pride at how you managed to get through it. Today though, just feel however you want to feel, cry, scream, shout or sit quietly and be mindful, or exercise, whatever you need is right! We are all with you. X
This group is a lifeline to us all and the sheer support and advice is so important to each and everyone of us
A group I never imagined I would be a part of like us all but a much needed and valuable group to be a part of xx
A group I never imagined I would be a part of like us all but a much needed and valuable group to be a part of xx
Daffodil, you are so right. This forum is a life saver, literally. I clung to it in the early days, finding others to talk to who knew how I felt was invaluable. Great to know it's still there whenever it's needed, and so good to see people like yourself helping others. Just so sad to see that new people are coming on all the time. I read all the posts when I first joined, now there are so many. Xx
Hi Sadsister,
I also had to comment. Our story went viral on social media the day of the trial. I was heartbroken that we were betrayed by friends and that these so called friends thought it was acceptable to do such a vile thing. Life at that time was difficult, i was paranoid, anxious you name it, I think I went through every emotion. I still battle my demons today but life does get easier. I think your always 'on edge' a bit (not sure if that's the best way to describe it) but things do calm. You'll find a new normal which works for you and your family. Sending the biggest virtual hug xxx
I also had to comment. Our story went viral on social media the day of the trial. I was heartbroken that we were betrayed by friends and that these so called friends thought it was acceptable to do such a vile thing. Life at that time was difficult, i was paranoid, anxious you name it, I think I went through every emotion. I still battle my demons today but life does get easier. I think your always 'on edge' a bit (not sure if that's the best way to describe it) but things do calm. You'll find a new normal which works for you and your family. Sending the biggest virtual hug xxx
Solidarity sisters x x
Sad sister
You are probably best not reading the article. I tortured myself in those early days re reading it. I was just in disbelief at how they had exaggerated what happened. They referred to him as the p word 3 times in the article, when the girl he had been communicating with was almost 16 (not condoning it but just not an accurate use of the word)
I having Had anyone say anything particularly negative to me. I guess it's just the fact that people you think are your friends and will be supportive are not. There's always the worry if people know but you can drive yourself insane thinking about it.
Try to keep yourself busy with things you enjoy x x
You are probably best not reading the article. I tortured myself in those early days re reading it. I was just in disbelief at how they had exaggerated what happened. They referred to him as the p word 3 times in the article, when the girl he had been communicating with was almost 16 (not condoning it but just not an accurate use of the word)
I having Had anyone say anything particularly negative to me. I guess it's just the fact that people you think are your friends and will be supportive are not. There's always the worry if people know but you can drive yourself insane thinking about it.
Try to keep yourself busy with things you enjoy x x
Hi Sadsister,
ours went online a week after sentencing. My husband had some backlash from 'friends' but all those important to us just offered support. We've had no strangers commenting, our neighbours have never said anything.
I went mad with thinking about every eventuality but in the end decided if they mention it to me I'll say something but if they don't I'll act as though they haven't seen it.
only 2 people mentioned anything to me-just support. It's the most horrendous thing while it's happening but it does get easier xx
ours went online a week after sentencing. My husband had some backlash from 'friends' but all those important to us just offered support. We've had no strangers commenting, our neighbours have never said anything.
I went mad with thinking about every eventuality but in the end decided if they mention it to me I'll say something but if they don't I'll act as though they haven't seen it.
only 2 people mentioned anything to me-just support. It's the most horrendous thing while it's happening but it does get easier xx
Thank you Tabs for your encouraging post, it's what we all need to hear that things maybe different but "will" get better.
Sadsister my heart goes out to you today, that pain of media coverage is still very raw with me and I feel for you so much. Like lots of ladies have said the repercussion are not as bad as expected, I shut myself into the house, closed blinds/windows, locked doors etc and as it was just before Christmas I was able to measure the support or lack of it/coupled with disgust/disgrace via who did and didn't send Christmas cards. However the support we both received was tremendous from family and my friends, sadly my husband no longer has his friends in his life but he is now okay with that (I think) and is prepared to move on without them. We are grateful every day for being surrounded by the love and support of family and friends, what the rest have read in the sordid media garbage and who believe what they have read are no longer important to us. Its a horrible time for you but please focus on what you have and who and what you value. As many here have said to me it will be chip shop news in the next few days. Please stay strong and be comforted that lots of us here are thinking of you tonight. Lots of love xxxxx
Sadsister my heart goes out to you today, that pain of media coverage is still very raw with me and I feel for you so much. Like lots of ladies have said the repercussion are not as bad as expected, I shut myself into the house, closed blinds/windows, locked doors etc and as it was just before Christmas I was able to measure the support or lack of it/coupled with disgust/disgrace via who did and didn't send Christmas cards. However the support we both received was tremendous from family and my friends, sadly my husband no longer has his friends in his life but he is now okay with that (I think) and is prepared to move on without them. We are grateful every day for being surrounded by the love and support of family and friends, what the rest have read in the sordid media garbage and who believe what they have read are no longer important to us. Its a horrible time for you but please focus on what you have and who and what you value. As many here have said to me it will be chip shop news in the next few days. Please stay strong and be comforted that lots of us here are thinking of you tonight. Lots of love xxxxx
Couldnt scroll and not share my appreciation for the strength all of you beautiful souls have given myself and all whom find themselves here.
Tabs your posts always resonate with me and I want thank you for the lift that I think so many may have needed to I know I did so personally from myself let me say the feeling is mutual! Xx
Tabs your posts always resonate with me and I want thank you for the lift that I think so many may have needed to I know I did so personally from myself let me say the feeling is mutual! Xx