Broken update
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Hi everyone,
I hope you are all ok and are getting the support you need?!
I thought I'd just come on here to give an update on my husband.
He had a suicide attempt last month by driving into a bridge and falling 20ft into a river! Absolute worst day of my life... I feared he was dead.
When I finally got to speak to him, he said he had relapsed and he couldn't cope with the guilt.
Well it turns out his relapse was just downloading apps that he shouldn't have but didn't actually open them and talking to/sending/receiving intimate pictures to other woman. He knew that when the police checked his phone then he would be in trouble and most likely told to leave our family home. We have been trying to move now for years but they kept knocking us back because of his conviction and he thought if he wasn't here then we would get the home we so desperately need!
Obviously the police requested his phone be checked which he willingly gave but because it had suffered so much damage, they couldn't get any evidence off of it. So due to the fact they can't prove anything they have decided to not take it any further!
We unfortunately still have ss involved again but hopefully they will be leaving us again because we are still following the safety plan they don't have any new concerns.
We have also been offered a council house! A property that will cater to our needs and hopefully allow us to move forward and start afresh.
Because of all of this, the crisis team have decide he no longer needs them which I suppose is a step forward? I'm not so sure. He's still so mentally fragile that I just don't trust him to not make an attempt again.
It's really taking a toll on my own mental health too... I feel like I'm so close to the edge constantly. I put on a 'brave' face for everyone but inside I'm broken. I'm an emotional wreck but hide it so well. I nod and smile and laugh all at the right times but really I'm just in limbo.
With all of the good that is now supposedly happening, I wonder why I'm still feeling this way? Is all of the bad things that keep happening to me just karma for all of the bad things that I have done when I was younger? It's so stupid to feel this way, I'm a mother and a wife for goodness sake but then I wonder why is it always me who ends up getting hurt!
So sorry for rambling on, I'll be quiet now. I just thought id update xx
I hope you are all ok and are getting the support you need?!
I thought I'd just come on here to give an update on my husband.
He had a suicide attempt last month by driving into a bridge and falling 20ft into a river! Absolute worst day of my life... I feared he was dead.
When I finally got to speak to him, he said he had relapsed and he couldn't cope with the guilt.
Well it turns out his relapse was just downloading apps that he shouldn't have but didn't actually open them and talking to/sending/receiving intimate pictures to other woman. He knew that when the police checked his phone then he would be in trouble and most likely told to leave our family home. We have been trying to move now for years but they kept knocking us back because of his conviction and he thought if he wasn't here then we would get the home we so desperately need!
Obviously the police requested his phone be checked which he willingly gave but because it had suffered so much damage, they couldn't get any evidence off of it. So due to the fact they can't prove anything they have decided to not take it any further!
We unfortunately still have ss involved again but hopefully they will be leaving us again because we are still following the safety plan they don't have any new concerns.
We have also been offered a council house! A property that will cater to our needs and hopefully allow us to move forward and start afresh.
Because of all of this, the crisis team have decide he no longer needs them which I suppose is a step forward? I'm not so sure. He's still so mentally fragile that I just don't trust him to not make an attempt again.
It's really taking a toll on my own mental health too... I feel like I'm so close to the edge constantly. I put on a 'brave' face for everyone but inside I'm broken. I'm an emotional wreck but hide it so well. I nod and smile and laugh all at the right times but really I'm just in limbo.
With all of the good that is now supposedly happening, I wonder why I'm still feeling this way? Is all of the bad things that keep happening to me just karma for all of the bad things that I have done when I was younger? It's so stupid to feel this way, I'm a mother and a wife for goodness sake but then I wonder why is it always me who ends up getting hurt!
So sorry for rambling on, I'll be quiet now. I just thought id update xx
Hi Kirsty90,
I am so sorry you are going through all this, it must be so hard, but please its not your fault and its not because of your past mistakes ( sorry couldn't remember if that's how u said it, sorry if its not ). I know how you feel I am the other side of it now and I should be looking forward to wat we have but I don't, I like u have thought I am suffering because of my past mistakes but we have to realise its not its just unfortunate circumstances that neither of us could of anticipated, my husband hasn't tried to take his life so I can't imagine what that feels like. I had a really bad time with ss to the point where my mental health is struggling. I really hope u r OK and I'm always here if u need to chat
I am so sorry you are going through all this, it must be so hard, but please its not your fault and its not because of your past mistakes ( sorry couldn't remember if that's how u said it, sorry if its not ). I know how you feel I am the other side of it now and I should be looking forward to wat we have but I don't, I like u have thought I am suffering because of my past mistakes but we have to realise its not its just unfortunate circumstances that neither of us could of anticipated, my husband hasn't tried to take his life so I can't imagine what that feels like. I had a really bad time with ss to the point where my mental health is struggling. I really hope u r OK and I'm always here if u need to chat
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Hi Kirsty90
My heart really does go out to you, this is just heartbreaking for all of you x
I hope your hubby can get some needed support and also you can also
I hope once you settle in to your new home you can all try to rebuild and start to live your lifes as god knows you need it after what you have all been through x
Sending hugs to you all xx
My heart really does go out to you, this is just heartbreaking for all of you x
I hope your hubby can get some needed support and also you can also
I hope once you settle in to your new home you can all try to rebuild and start to live your lifes as god knows you need it after what you have all been through x
Sending hugs to you all xx