First prison visit and media story
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I'm visiting my person in prison for the first time since sentencing shortly. As many people may know, he wasn't as honest and as truthful as he could have been.
The news reports make him out to be a monster, I can clearly identify things that have been added to embellish the story and are irrelevant to the offence. We've exchanged many emails and letters but there are questions I don't feel comfortable asking on these or on the phone and had planned to ask them when visiting (if I feel appropriate - Some I feel will be, but others I'm not sure). I feel that I need to know the answers, but at the same time, he knows the questions will have come from reading the newspapers and I'm worried how this will affect him. I don't know what to do, any advise is gratefully recieved.
The news reports make him out to be a monster, I can clearly identify things that have been added to embellish the story and are irrelevant to the offence. We've exchanged many emails and letters but there are questions I don't feel comfortable asking on these or on the phone and had planned to ask them when visiting (if I feel appropriate - Some I feel will be, but others I'm not sure). I feel that I need to know the answers, but at the same time, he knows the questions will have come from reading the newspapers and I'm worried how this will affect him. I don't know what to do, any advise is gratefully recieved.
Hi Sal
The news report's will of made him out to be a monster as in our situation the prosecution are making my partner out to be a monster.
I feel exactly the same as to emails letters and calls and asking and discussing things. ( mine is on remand in prison) some things are better asked in person and i know for me i like to be able to see reactions facial body etc.
Your person if he doesn't feel comfortable he or you can always leave before visiting time ends or just decline to answer.
He will have a key worker/officer that will most probably check to see how he is after his first visit. There are also chaplaincy workers who are there that he can talk to ( you don't have to have any religion to speak to them)
Be prepared that you may not get all the answers to the questions that are asked or that they are answered truthfully. Prison can be a place of self reflection but it can take time to decompress from what has happened and be able to do that.
Be kind to yourself, I know that you care about your person, but you need to put yourself first. I think what I'm trying to say is what he has done has happened and sometimes we don't get the answers we want or need. Try and work out what you want from your person whether it is a relationship or a friendship and whether you will be happy not knowing what had fully happened?
Prison isn't a scary place to visit or as it's portrayed on TV! Make sure you remember your ID! It takes a while to get through booking in and security checks and the wait can feel impossible.
Get yourself a hot drink afterwards before driving home and have a breather.
Take care and look after yourself
The news report's will of made him out to be a monster as in our situation the prosecution are making my partner out to be a monster.
I feel exactly the same as to emails letters and calls and asking and discussing things. ( mine is on remand in prison) some things are better asked in person and i know for me i like to be able to see reactions facial body etc.
Your person if he doesn't feel comfortable he or you can always leave before visiting time ends or just decline to answer.
He will have a key worker/officer that will most probably check to see how he is after his first visit. There are also chaplaincy workers who are there that he can talk to ( you don't have to have any religion to speak to them)
Be prepared that you may not get all the answers to the questions that are asked or that they are answered truthfully. Prison can be a place of self reflection but it can take time to decompress from what has happened and be able to do that.
Be kind to yourself, I know that you care about your person, but you need to put yourself first. I think what I'm trying to say is what he has done has happened and sometimes we don't get the answers we want or need. Try and work out what you want from your person whether it is a relationship or a friendship and whether you will be happy not knowing what had fully happened?
Prison isn't a scary place to visit or as it's portrayed on TV! Make sure you remember your ID! It takes a while to get through booking in and security checks and the wait can feel impossible.
Get yourself a hot drink afterwards before driving home and have a breather.
Take care and look after yourself
Hi Sal
Good luck.with your first visit I know only.to well how nervous I was and the shock and emotions for not seeing them.for so long x
The media reported my sons case so far from the truth but thankfully I knew what he actually did, he told me and I had a full disclosure and talks with his solicitor but it was still difficult to hear
You have to ask what you feel and you will know when you see him if it is actually the right time etc.x
But whatever the outcome you need to be kind to yourself xx
I hope the visit will go ok sending strength and hugs xx
Good luck.with your first visit I know only.to well how nervous I was and the shock and emotions for not seeing them.for so long x
The media reported my sons case so far from the truth but thankfully I knew what he actually did, he told me and I had a full disclosure and talks with his solicitor but it was still difficult to hear
You have to ask what you feel and you will know when you see him if it is actually the right time etc.x
But whatever the outcome you need to be kind to yourself xx
I hope the visit will go ok sending strength and hugs xx
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