Family and Friends Forum

Lots of love Daffy xxxxxxx

My sons stuff is only addressed to him.

Keep breathing. Even if that's all you manage today, to just keep breathing and get into bed, you will have done your best for today.xxx

I'm so sorry you've had a trigger day, they still happen to me 14 months down the line, it hits me like train and everything goes through my head, I actually get a sore head from thinking so much so I understand how bad those days x/weeks are I'm dreading what's ahead too, but they do become less over time, do sine self care, something for you and try to have a day for yourself tommarow so you are stronger for Tuesday, here for you of you need a rant xx

Hi Daffodil

Just wanted to send you a huge hug xx

It dosent take much to take you back to square one but you will get through this and so will your son

Keep focused on yourself and take each step at a time x

Reach out to us as we are all here to offer help.and support xx

Hi Daffodil,

i received my son's as I am his Appropriate Adult. I totally get how you feel , you are definitely not alone .All the issues around his vulnerability and utter sadness of his loneliness and lack of friendship destroys me.

We have a SS care assessment tomorrow, I'm praying they will be able to offer some Ray of hope.

tomorrow is a new day suppose x

My heart goes out to you Daffodil / I'm quite away further down the line but a set back is only a breath away, even when you think waters are calmer.

Last week I drove past a fella walking down the street and for one instant I thought it was my son - it looked so much like him. That upset me all over again, how I'd do anything for that to happen to pip and him to jump in & sit next to me, he'd always change my music into something loud!!!! It feels so much like a bereavement :(

It's not fair we have to live with this pain is it? Together we will gather our strength from each other and fight the battle, that bloody sun will reappear one day xxxxx

Hi Daffodil, I hope you're feeling better today.

I had an awful day yesterday too, after months of things being calm and truly thinking I had it all in perspective. Smile hit the nail on the head - a setback is just a breath away. I had a row with my son and I think I hugely over-reacted to something which made me realise how much anger towards him I have buried.

Sending you loads of positive vibes and strength and hoping that today is a better day xx

Hi Lola/

Lots of pent up feelings come out in an argument - don't beat yourself up about it, I bury a lot of anger with my son but its there, believe me!

I remember my hubby saying some dreadful things to him, very brutal but it was true and my son needed to face up to what he'd done and it's repercussions. Once it was said, it was put to bed.....

Sending hugs Daffodil. I know some of how you feel. Yesterday was a bad one for me too. We're very early on in the journey, about 2 months since the knock, but I've been dealing with things pretty well this last week or so I think. Then last night we put something on tv and it started with police coming to arrest someone and their wife was hysterical. I immediately had to turn it off, and everything flashed back to the knock for me, I completely fell apart.

I know we have to carry on and make the best of it, but wow it's so hard, not knowing what the future holds, and some days I don't think I can carry on.

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Replying to EllBee:-

Thanks so much for your comment. It's awful isn't it. I'm on edge and tense up with every knock on the door, any car doors I hear outside, anytime partner's phone rings in case it's more bad news. I honestly don't know how I'm ever going to get over this.

My brains latest trick is to freak out when a letter arrives for him with Private & Condifential, Addressee only, la la la, in bold and caps. Instant wave of anxiety. The only time in my life I have welcomed a bill arriving!

Oh yes, that one as well! I've already had the talk with my partner and agreed that if one of those comes while he's out I can open it, because my brain can't cope with the not knowing. Even if it's bad news, I need to know, whereas having to wait however long til he gets home to open it tips me over the edge.