How do I get through this
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It's been almost 14 weeks since the knock! I can't seem to get out of my head that the person I've been with for over 10 years and had 2 children with could do this, we only recently got married!
Then the lies, when the knock came, it was such a shock, waking up to police in the house, whilst the children were trying to get sorted for school, the trauma he put us through for almost 48hours before he told me the truth, he denied it all at first, blamed hacking and friends, the children having to watch as all of their electronics were taken, having SS involvement, not knowing where to turn,
When he told me the truth the version he had gave me is not the same version that is on the bottom of the SS report, he told me he never used the the children's electronics, however I have now been told by police that these are being sent off to forensics, I feel like I can't believe him,
I've moved out of the area and in with my parents with the children as I had no support in the area other than his family, SS have closed the case with no contact in place, however I'm still getting abuse about letting him see the children
I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm stuck in a scary place that I never dreamed I would ever be, and I don't know how to get out!
Then the lies, when the knock came, it was such a shock, waking up to police in the house, whilst the children were trying to get sorted for school, the trauma he put us through for almost 48hours before he told me the truth, he denied it all at first, blamed hacking and friends, the children having to watch as all of their electronics were taken, having SS involvement, not knowing where to turn,
When he told me the truth the version he had gave me is not the same version that is on the bottom of the SS report, he told me he never used the the children's electronics, however I have now been told by police that these are being sent off to forensics, I feel like I can't believe him,
I've moved out of the area and in with my parents with the children as I had no support in the area other than his family, SS have closed the case with no contact in place, however I'm still getting abuse about letting him see the children
I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm stuck in a scary place that I never dreamed I would ever be, and I don't know how to get out!
Hi,
I'm so sorry you're in this position. SS don't get told everything so you're better off requesting full disclosure from him. In terms of devices, ours were seized and checked by forensics and everything except his phone was clean. The police kept devices until after sentencing as apparently this is normal in our area (wm) I found this distressing as I'd originally been given a timescale of three weeks. I'm nearly two years down the line now, there is hope I promise you. You'll find out what you want for you and your children long term and you will get through this xx
I'm so sorry you're in this position. SS don't get told everything so you're better off requesting full disclosure from him. In terms of devices, ours were seized and checked by forensics and everything except his phone was clean. The police kept devices until after sentencing as apparently this is normal in our area (wm) I found this distressing as I'd originally been given a timescale of three weeks. I'm nearly two years down the line now, there is hope I promise you. You'll find out what you want for you and your children long term and you will get through this xx
Hi sorry for jumping on the post can I just ask how long after court did the police give your stuff back.
thanks
thanks
Two weeks after sentencing devices were released but they'd all been put in my partner's name so he had to collect them xx
Thank you distressed and pregnant,
We received our phones back with in 2 weeks, I was told when they initially came they only keep them if they find anything on their initial check and then it goes to forensics (sy)
I'm left with picking the pieces up and trying to hold it together, I don't think he will give me a straight answer as he doesn't see what he has done as wrong (iioc)
We received our phones back with in 2 weeks, I was told when they initially came they only keep them if they find anything on their initial check and then it goes to forensics (sy)
I'm left with picking the pieces up and trying to hold it together, I don't think he will give me a straight answer as he doesn't see what he has done as wrong (iioc)
Hi Lyndz
Sorry to read your post. Your last line really struck me
"I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm stuck in a scary place that I never dreamed I would ever be, and I don't know how to get out!"
It is so scary and such a huge change of direction. This takes a lot of adjusting. There are quite a few mentions in different posts of it as a grieving process - so expect to go through anger, denial, sadness, disbelief, sudden realisation etc in various orders. Everything has to get reordered in your mind and body to recognise the new reality and this takes time and energy. It is not something it is possible to get out of easily and unfortunately we aren't left with any choices about what has happened. But gradually as time passes new routines settle in and things do get a bit easier. Be kind to yourself in whatever ways you can. Talk to someone. Take care xx
Sorry to read your post. Your last line really struck me
"I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm stuck in a scary place that I never dreamed I would ever be, and I don't know how to get out!"
It is so scary and such a huge change of direction. This takes a lot of adjusting. There are quite a few mentions in different posts of it as a grieving process - so expect to go through anger, denial, sadness, disbelief, sudden realisation etc in various orders. Everything has to get reordered in your mind and body to recognise the new reality and this takes time and energy. It is not something it is possible to get out of easily and unfortunately we aren't left with any choices about what has happened. But gradually as time passes new routines settle in and things do get a bit easier. Be kind to yourself in whatever ways you can. Talk to someone. Take care xx
Well worded Cloud....