Tough days
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Hello everyone!
Nor posted on here for a few weeks now, I have come on and read most of the posts but I've been focused on talking to my partner and trying to work things out.
I have finally got onto a waiting list for therapy regarding my depression and anxiety which is a 4 week wait but it's a baby step forwards.
Myself and my partner have been good, talking daily, helping each other with our therapy and counselling. When we have had a bad day we picked each other up.
Until today! I got very unsure and anxious, we spent the night together (say no more) and today it just feels different I am comparing myself, body image to a woman he cheated on me with. ( if your reading this you probably rolling your eyes or thinking get a grip of yourself) but this is my real struggle today. When I have told him how I am feeling he is saying words but they are repeated words he told me a few days ago. He just says he understands it can't be easy or nice maybe your therapy will help you. THAT IS IT!
At the beginning when he told me about this other woman that it happened once with he told me he had spoke to his therapy about it as he said he didn't love her didn't have feelings for her it was just sex and that was it and it was an hour thing and never again happened. Appently the therapist told him it's part of the porn/sex addition. Now I don't have a clue about this. I have researched and watched clips people have recommended it it's not sinking in. I don't know whether he is just a pure cheater or if it is part of his addition.
All I know is I'm really struggling with this! I said to him I could cope with just the prom stuff as I see it as fake people but with this woman it wasn't a fake person.
Just why! (Crying face)
Nor posted on here for a few weeks now, I have come on and read most of the posts but I've been focused on talking to my partner and trying to work things out.
I have finally got onto a waiting list for therapy regarding my depression and anxiety which is a 4 week wait but it's a baby step forwards.
Myself and my partner have been good, talking daily, helping each other with our therapy and counselling. When we have had a bad day we picked each other up.
Until today! I got very unsure and anxious, we spent the night together (say no more) and today it just feels different I am comparing myself, body image to a woman he cheated on me with. ( if your reading this you probably rolling your eyes or thinking get a grip of yourself) but this is my real struggle today. When I have told him how I am feeling he is saying words but they are repeated words he told me a few days ago. He just says he understands it can't be easy or nice maybe your therapy will help you. THAT IS IT!
At the beginning when he told me about this other woman that it happened once with he told me he had spoke to his therapy about it as he said he didn't love her didn't have feelings for her it was just sex and that was it and it was an hour thing and never again happened. Appently the therapist told him it's part of the porn/sex addition. Now I don't have a clue about this. I have researched and watched clips people have recommended it it's not sinking in. I don't know whether he is just a pure cheater or if it is part of his addition.
All I know is I'm really struggling with this! I said to him I could cope with just the prom stuff as I see it as fake people but with this woman it wasn't a fake person.
Just why! (Crying face)
Hi,
I can't offer any advice as we're yet to have a physical relationship post knock. I just wanted to say that nobody would roll their eyes or tell you to get a grip, this is such a personal journey and a very intimate betrayal whether it's cheating, conversation, images or legal porn it's still done in secret and can stir uncomfortable feelings within us as partners. Speak kindly to and about yourself xx
I can't offer any advice as we're yet to have a physical relationship post knock. I just wanted to say that nobody would roll their eyes or tell you to get a grip, this is such a personal journey and a very intimate betrayal whether it's cheating, conversation, images or legal porn it's still done in secret and can stir uncomfortable feelings within us as partners. Speak kindly to and about yourself xx
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I completely under stand, when my partner was talking to teen girks, all I could think of was Im nit good enough, I'm. Past it now (I'm 40) he's 5 years older than me again. We started slowly and the closer we gilot, the more he opened up to me, then it turned physical again. It actually feels like when we first dated, we took it day by day,. Went fur dinner dates, days out by the sea, walks, and just talked for hours. I still get days I feel like I'm not enough, like we had a perfect relationship b4, we're getting married, together years. Actually I had a meltdown last night yo him about it fur the 100yh time. He just reassures me I dud nothing wrong, he was a stupid gulible selfish idiot, and hit sucked in. Still makes me think tho, if it was a real woman who gave him attention, would he have went ahead? We are gonna have couples therapy when court etc is over, I've made no promises for the future. Take it one step at a time these feelings are completely normal x