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Having a 'Wobble' day

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Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Posted Thu May 26, 2022 2:17pmReport post

Hi All

I am having a 'wobble' day as I like to call it, lots of tears. I wanted to come on here and post to see if it makes me feel better.

We are now lucky to be 'on the other side' of the journey, with sentencing being nearly two weeks ago. Although the outcome was "positive" in that it was a community rehab order, its hit me again today as to the crime my Brother has commited and its still a shock that he fell into this world.

I am now having to deal with my Partner, who up until now, hasnt wanted to know anything, as thats how he wanted to deal with it. But as it was in the media, my partner has read the full article, which of course has been twisted and exaggerated and makes my Brother out to be the monster. MyParnter says he is struggling with what he has read and how he now feels. I have tried to explain what the context is and the facts of the charges, not to sugarcoat, so he gets some understanding but my Partner just thinks I am sticking up for my brother and so he doesnt want to hear it. He says he is on my side as he loves me and my family which is why he hasnt acted on his true feelings (I dread to think).

I guess its hit me today that if thats how my Partner feels, and he knows my Brother pretty well and has always had a good relationship with him despite his flaws (my Brother has always had untreated Mental Health issues, anger issues, medical issues etc so has always seemed to have a chip on his shouder and this is just the icing on the cake). I am just please that the community order might finally get him some help.

What gives me anxiety is that everyone else who has read the paper will feel the same and I hate that.

I know none of this is my fault but when its a family member you go through all the emotions with them and I actually feel sorry for him. I know deep down he is not a monster, he doesnt have a sexual interest in children, he fell into a dark hole in the middle of an isolated lockdown (he lives alone) and made a terrible life choice.

Will things ever be the same with my family xx

thank you for listening x

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Thu May 26, 2022 2:34pmReport post

Hugs sister x
Remember how you felt early days, the mixed emotions, your oh is still processing it all. Unfortunately we can't control how others think or feel, you can just help with the facts. Stay strong x

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Posted Thu May 26, 2022 3:22pmReport post

Hey Jayjay

Thank you for your response, your totally right, I do need to give him time and hopefully when he has processed it he might ask me questions. I do also think that the men who haven't committed the crime fine it harder to process (I might be wrong).

Thank you xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Thu May 26, 2022 3:53pmReport post

Hi Sadsister22

Just wanted to send hugs x

My daughter has been my rock and has been there for her brother throughout this journey

We do not condone what he has done but we will walk by his side all the way but that is our choice to do so x

Your brother is very lucky to have you also been there for him,

As for your partner we can only respect there decisions as everyone reacts differently and deals with it in there own way

So dont be so hard on yourself you are incredibly strong xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Thu May 26, 2022 4:14pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri May 27, 2022 3:03pm

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Thu May 26, 2022 5:04pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am